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Gay Worried

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Smileyface, May 3, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Smileyface

    Smileyface Lurker

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    I met a guy recently on Okcupid and we instantly clicked. It's been amazing and I've NEVER been happier with someone in my life. Thing is, I've never been in a relationship before.. I'm 23, still closeted to my parents, but out to mostly everyone else. I'm living at home.

    There is SO much fear in me right now. And because of this, I'm contemplating just breaking it off because my fear is kinda outweighing everything else right now. Although I absolutely do not want to, and so far... I love being with him, I've never been happier to be completely honest. I do not want to keep this a secret, and I do want to come out.. But I don't know how to go about this. My parents are caring, but are really right winged, and I don't know.

    I know the easiest thing is to just keep going on the way I've been going for the last 23 years of my life. But that's not what I want, I'd like to open up, and not be afraid anymore. I don't know...
     
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  2. Takusprite
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    Takusprite Great Learner
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    Hi, I'm sorry you're so stressed out right now about this. I don't know exactly what to tell you, but I think you should tell your bf about how you're feeling right now so that you don't have to feel this all alone. I wish you well!
     
  3. Tzap

    Tzap Addictive Contributor
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    I can only agree with Takusprite, you need to talk not run, and it sounds like you could be turning your own excitement and anticipation into a fear and anxiety.
    Relax and talk have a bit of fun, don't kill of any little happiness in your life, we all go through a lot of crap (recently even more) so hold onto every happy chance you get.
    Have fun but stay safe ;) 
     
  4. john1010101
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    There’s nothing worse than the fear of being rejected by your family simply because of who you are. My question though is about your new lover’s family. Have they met you? What is their attitude to your relationship? I’m asking because sometimes when you lose one family you gain another.I know that sounds a bit too simple but I’ve seen it work more than a few times.
    When you say your parents are ‘really right winged’ is that their politics, their religioun or both?
    If it’s only a political stance of the conservative kind there’s a chance you can eventually get them to accept your new relationship. If however they’re objection to same sex love is based on religion there’s far less chance of your love being accepted.

    You’ll find a number of people here who are in a similar sitution to yours or have experienced similar fears and come out the other side. They’re probably better equiped to help you than I am.

    As to the idea of breaking it off with your new love at least tell him about your fears. Maybe he could accept a temporary distancing until you figure out the family situation? Either way it’s a testing time for both of you. My heart goes out to you.
     
    #4 john1010101, May 4, 2020
    Last edited: May 4, 2020
  5. Edge
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    Edge Greenhorn

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    I wouldn't call it off over other people. Parents or not, fuck em. My parents don't know I'm Gay and I couldn't care less about it. None of their business what I do in my personal life. Get out of the house away from the parental units and be with your man. Easy.
     
  6. MusicGuy01

    MusicGuy01 Reliable Contributor
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    Like everyone has said be yourself and I know not everyone tells their parents they r different but be comfortable who u are and see what your bf thinks of this too
     
  7. JayR

    JayR Greenhorn
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    try to think whether there are people who will support you anyways
    but yeah unfortunately there are some risks that you may face
    still hope you'll try to take courage to be open to everyone and be who you really are :)  be happy!
     

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