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Why would straight guy stare at gay guy?

Discussion in 'Gay' started by SundayWeather, Jun 8, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. SundayWeather

    SundayWeather Lurker

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    Help me understand straight behavior, please! So today was my friend's birthday, she was throwing a little party and she had invited almost all her friends, including me.

    There were some people among them I had never seen before and this guy was one of them, he had come together with his girlfriend. My friend formally introduced us and we talked a little bit but like I said, I had never seen him before, he was a stranger to me, therefore we didn't have much to talk about. And so I eventually wandered over to the people I knew.

    Then, as the evening went on, I realized that he is literary staring at me. All the time. You can feel when someone is watching you and that's how I felt. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it, then it got really weird. After I noticed it, I looked back at him unnoticeably every now and then and he never took his eyes off me. I don't know how his girlfriend didn't see it. Even when everybody started to dance ( I don't like to dance, so I was just sitting with my drink) I noticed that he was dancing with his girlfriend and still he was looking at me over her shoulder.

    At this point I was really creeped out already, not because he's ugly, he was young and handsome but because I couldn't understand the reason behind this. I even went to the restroom to look into the mirror because I thought that maybe there's something wrong with my appearance but everything was fine.

    So I gathered all of my courage and I went over to him when his girlfriend wasn't next to him and I asked what was wrong. He pretended he never did anything and that he was looking at everyone. That's a lie, I'm not blind and I saw him staring right at me. Then he said "my friend's name," said you're gay". I said, "yes, so what?" And he was like "there you go" and just walked off.

    I couldn't understand anything but I didn't feel comfortable in that party anymore so I said goodbye to my friend and I drove home. I don't mean to say he might like me or something, I'll probably never see him again, it's just that I still can't understand why would he be doing that, especially with his girl next to him.
     
  2. Being.
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    Being. "Save me from the nothing I've become"
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    There's two ways I read this.

    One; he's a homophobe and was watching you from fear and his response of "that's why" was a. Reinfocement

    Two; when he asked if you we're gay and said yes and his response was "That's why" he was letting you know that he is too and his girlfriend may be a cover

    Although did anyone say he was straight?
    He could be Bi or Pan
     
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  3. SundayWeather

    SundayWeather Lurker

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    But even then, why be a creep? For a moment I actually thought I was going to be bashed.
     
  4. Being.
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    Being. "Save me from the nothing I've become"
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    Some straight guys are just weird.
    I wouldn't question it too much.
    One of my straight workmates used to stare and me and blushed when I caught him looking once. Nothing ever happened.

    And then one of my other work... I won't call him a mate. A worker at my work.
    Well, he thought me being gay was an excuse to bully and joke about me each day.

    So I'd put it down to "straight guys make no sense"
     
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  5. AliceR
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    AliceR Reliable Advisor
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    I agree with Being. He is probably either homophobic or gay and closeted.

    I asked my husband who is straight, and he told me the guy is probably closeted to himself, maybe unwilling to accept that he is gay?

    I am also wondering if he might have been staring because many people have stereotypical views on what gay people should be like or should act like, so if you don't fit that stereotypical image they have of the gay community, it confuses them. Especially if they are closeted to themselves and use those stereotypes as excuses to convince themselves that they are not gay.
    Does it make sense?
    It sounds like you being there may have made it difficult for him to deny his own orientation, especially if he found you to be attractive or not to match the idea he had of what a gay man should be like.

    Either way, you're right, it is creepy. I would have left as well. :-(

    Sorry that creep ruined your fun time.

    HUGS.
     
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