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Bisexual Why are people so surprised when I tell them that I am Bisexual?

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Johnnybisexual, Sep 5, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Johnnybisexual

    Johnnybisexual Lover of Penis and Vagina
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    Yesterday I told a very open Lesbian neighbor that I am Bisexual and she was totally blown away. She said that her "Gaydar" had not cued into that at all. I have gotten a similar reaction from other people that I have shared this information with. Does anyone else experience this or do I really not give off any kind of "Gay vibe"? I am a 63 yo very sexually active man. I am just curious what you experience.
     
  2. Jay Cgn
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    Jay Cgn Slytherin
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    Well, I am way younger than you. I’m 19 so idk wether this is comparable, really.

    But I guess the “surprising” aspect may be your age? We may live in the 21st century and everyone knows that being gay has always been a thing but people couldn’t be honest about it.
    So people might not be surprised by the fact that you’re bi but more by you being honest about it without even hesitating.

    Besides that, not everyone in the lgbtq+ community has a “gay vibe”. That’s a stereotype. So many people are convinced that I am a lesbian and question my answer of being bi. And a lot of People question a friend of mine when she says she’s into girls. So apparently, I seem too gay and she doesn’t seem gay enough.

    Eventually, no matter what’s the reason, it’s just prejudging. A thing in our society. Nothing to worry about.


    Take care
    Xx
     
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    #2 Jay Cgn, Sep 12, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019
  3. Johnnybisexual

    Johnnybisexual Lover of Penis and Vagina
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    Thanks Jay Cgn, Those are wise words and a great observation. I hadn't thought of the age aspect. You are completely correct. It was nearly incomprehensible for people of my generation to come out. I am so happy that it is changing.
     
  4. Violet Warren

    Violet Warren Lurker

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    I used to get that sometimes. I’m very straight woman presenting. I’m a lot younger as well. But I think once I accepted that I liked women, I started putting out signals. Like I drive a truck. Sometimes I wear backwards baseball caps. I think what she was surprised about is that you aren’t putting out any kind of signal. Which is probably a good thing because it means you are comfortable in your own sexuality, as my example shows I’m probably compensating for something! So I would say it’s probably a good sign.
     
  5. ConfusedButHappy
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    ConfusedButHappy Bi (and no longer a closet dweller)
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    I can somewhat relate.

    Despite being younger (19), all three people I have come out to have been incredibly surprised. Other friends, who don't know yet, will sometimes joke about the fact that I'm the only straight person in our group (a group that consists of only straight or closeted people) or the straightest person they know. It's made me wonder whether it's my personality's fault, or whether I've just gotten so used to the closet that I hide it well.

    The fabulous queen inside me hasn't revealed itself, yet.
     
  6. Romeo
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    Romeo Where is MY Bunny?
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    It all comes down to how people see you, how you acting tho. People are also surprised that I'm gay. On the other hand, my another gay friend acting like.... a gay? :/ I mean he is kinda cute and feminine ♪ So there is no problem in people surprise I think :) 
     
  7. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Why are people surprised when you tell them you're bisexual? Well, I mean... just look at you!

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Mikey likes it

    Mikey likes it Dedicative Contributor
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    Johnnybi most people have a preconceived notion of what, bi or gay guys are like. Congratulations bro, you do not fit the stereotypes! The few times I have told people I'm gay they are shocked. Personally I love giving others a good shock. Love Mikey.
     
  9. Aim_high

    Aim_high Hot Cookie
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    You probably don't fit some sort of stereotype they have in their mind of what an lgbtq person should act/ look like. I know people are always surprised when i say I'm bi. My one family member that i have come out to is still in denial. Trust me. You certainly aren’t alone.
     
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  10. Elissabeth

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    I was told I give the" gay vibe" off a couple times but my best friend that knows me best says she doesn't see it. I would have never thought I gave any vibe off. But a couple ppl , one lesbian and one " saved" bisexual said I did. I was actually embarrassed because I have never come out . The lesbian one does know I'm bisexual now but even that, she tells me how can I be when I have never been with a woman and I'm married to a man. So how did she ever find she was lesbian. Or how does a straight kid at a young age know they are straight if neither child has had encounters but know what they like In a school crush. How can she tell me that. I know what I feel and it's been that way since I was in the 2nd grade..just happened to be swooped in a heterosexual relationship with my husband since I was 16 but the thoughts and feelings are still there and he knows that. I guarantee a straight person will not harbor those feelings especially this long. Rant over.

    But anyways I wish I know what vibe I gave off. I want to know how some others sense it. But others don't.
     
  11. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    Compared to transgender people coming out as gay/bi after their transition (meaning trans men who like men/trans women who like women), you guys are getting off easy...lol

    It's an attraction to me that there are surprises in people.
     
  12. Amesg

    Amesg Greenhorn

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    Hi Johnnybi, I have the same experience as you. I had a conversation with a lesbian friend a few months ago, we talked about love and falling in love. I then told very carefully that deep down I am actually bisexual and never dared to tell. I am 50 years old and have always known it was simply a part of my person, how I have always felt. my lesbian friend fell back on the couch and said on a very soft but euphoriache how wonderful that you told me this is great. I always thought so, but you could never see it. we talked a lot and cuddled with joy. you are one of us she said. well johhnybi you can understand that my world has been upside down ever since. I believe that it doesn't matter how you look or what your age is and how you behave in life, the most important thing is that what you feel is a feeling of ultimate self-worth and you can express it in a way that is best for you is. I send you lots of love and a hug.
     

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