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Who Asks 2nd Date?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by bonniemarston20, Jan 18, 2021.  |  Print Topic

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  1. bonniemarston20

    bonniemarston20 Greenhorn
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    Hey guys, Who asks for the second date? Here’s why I’m confused:

    I’m starting to formally date women, i matched with this woman on tinder, I messaged first. I asked her out on the date first. It was a long good date, I paid for drinks and she then took me to dinner and paid. It was pretty even, she took me back to her place and we had sex and both enjoyed it. We had really intense pillow talk for hours too.

    Since I’m new to dating, we both realized in this encounter that with her I am most definitely a “top” in the sheets. She probably is in everyone other sense as she is a little older more financially stable.

    I want to think the sex was great, in fact I know it was. Multiple times throughout the encounter I made sure things were consensual and she definetly said she was and was enjoying it. We laughed at the fact that it was funny how I was such an unexpected “top” and I made sure to tell her I just do what I want in the moment without subscribing to any label.

    We Cuddled all night and all morning and again I made sure to text her a few hours after I went home, mainly bc I wanted to make sure she was comfortable with how rapidly things escalated. My text was really thoughtful, succinct but also again made sure she was okay with how intense things got. She said she absolutely was and had fun. I would’ve asked her out again in that thread of messages but After that she didn’t text me back that day. I expected that it was a combination of her writing me off as a one night stand and also of her recovering from no-sleep sex all night/drinking as I was recovering myself. Truly I wrote it off as a hook up and mentally said good bye to her.

    The next morning I get two texts starting out with “good morning sunshine”. I was at work and couldn’t text too much but we texted a handful of times back and forth until tonight where I am still waiting on a reply.

    I know it’s only been a couple of days since we went out Saturday, but I’m a little confused and wondering if I should ask her for a second date? I am confident and secure and go for what I want so normally I’d just do it, but I’ve learned that with dating women being too aggressive tends to shift the power differential away from me and I believe makes me come off as too easy and less desirable. I don’t want to rush things. HOWEVER “good morning” texts to me are clear signs of interest. Does she think the ball is in my court because of the sexual dynamic we had? Even if I were a “top” with her sexually, that doesn’t mean I should be the one to set up the date again is it? If she wanted to ask for a second date she would right? I don’t mind continually making the first move, but in this case if I do want to ask her for the second date anyways how long should I wait it out before setting up the second date and should I even be the one to do so?
     
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  2. Tzap

    Tzap Reliable Advisor
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    Myself would've asked when your gonna go out again, if I had enjoyed the night as much as you say you did, the next day, no messing or pretense just asked.
    Doesn't matter who asks who on a second date, so don't make it awkward your confident and know what you want and like, take the leap.
    Good luck and hope you have good safe fun ;) 
     
  3. allie anderson
    Happy

    allie anderson "Keep smiling,there's so much to smile about." MM
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    I say go for it. Don't let your doubts hold you back because I'm betting that you like her and the thing about that is you're probably not the only one who likes her. So I say take the jump and ask her out again before someone else does. If you really enjoy her and like her it'll be worth it.
     
  4. Missy Chrissie

    Missy Chrissie Dedicative Advisor
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    You did all that on the first date? Heck, even if you don't have a second date you scored a home run with two strikes left, LOL!
     

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