1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Where is the line between being bisexual and gay?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by queenbi, Jan 6, 2017.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 7 users.
  1. queenbi
    Kickass

    queenbi Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2016
    Messages:
    43
    Location:
    Sweden
    Ratings:
    +40 / 0 / -0
    I have realized during some time that I am probably between 90-95% gay and 10-5% straight. My problem is that I'm not sure if I'm bi or lesbian, whereas it seems I'm standing right on the line between the two of them. Are there a few questions I should ask myself? Or specific things I need to consider, before I "know my side"? Because I think I have lived in denial for most (and first) part of my life, and the other part I guess have been so characterized by society that I didn't even notice my attraction to girls.
    I would highly appreciate if you could comment some things I should think about so that I have a clearer picture of where I stand, thank you!! :) 
     
  2. GamerGirl77
    Tired

    GamerGirl77 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    It's probably not particularly helpful, but you're not alone in feeling like this. I've been asking myself the same question a lot recently.

    Long story short, I don't know the answer. But personally I feel like there has to be a special connection for me to be attracted to guys beyond the level of 'they're good looking'.

    Sorry I'm not very helpful, I'm sure other people here will be, but feel free to send me a message if you want to chat about it :) 
     
    #2 GamerGirl77, Jan 6, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2017
  3. queenbi
    Kickass

    queenbi Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2016
    Messages:
    43
    Location:
    Sweden
    Ratings:
    +40 / 0 / -0
    Thank you, it means a lot that there are people in similar situations. That's true for me as well, I feel like it's much easier finding a connection with girls than guys. Do you identify as gay then?
    I'll definitely message you if I can't come to an answer by myself soon, thanks :p 
     
  4. Valarmorghulis
    Dead

    Valarmorghulis Opai dragon !
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2016
    Messages:
    1,531
    Location:
    where the streets have no name
    Ratings:
    +868 / 20 / -310
    obsessing over the label will just drive you mental :p  just go with it why does it really matter which one you fall into? if you love a girl you love a girl if you love a guy you love a guy.. but I would say if you acknowledge the fact your not totally lesbian then you are bi. they are pretty definitive.
     
  5. GamerGirl77
    Tired

    GamerGirl77 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    Yeah I'd agree, I don't like labels myself. I consider myself bisexual, but recognise that it's fluid.
     
  6. queenbi
    Kickass

    queenbi Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2016
    Messages:
    43
    Location:
    Sweden
    Ratings:
    +40 / 0 / -0
    Usually I'm not a fan of labels either, I 100% agree with what you're saying. Though, labels can be good for one thing - making it clear for other people. I've only come out to one of my best friends so far and I'm planning on telling my parents this weekend. I would like things to be clear in order for them to understand the situation, you know. But otherwise, yes I know I should care about which label to identify with :D 
     
  7. Nichole
    Nerdy

    Nichole You only get one life, live it to the fullest
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2016
    Messages:
    121
    Location:
    KY
    Ratings:
    +88 / 0 / -0
    I can understand why you think you need to label yourself but honestly it doesn't matter because no matter which you choose it's always subject to change. I don't absolutely hate guys but I do think some are good looking/handsome. I can attract a guy way faster than I can a woman or maybe they just don't have the guts to approach. Either way knowing that a guy is interested makes me feel good but at the same time I start to question whether or not I'm doing the right thing. Then I think about how I feel with women and know it's never been that way with a man.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 6, 2017 ---
    In other words go with whatever feels right because I honestly believe your parents Will love you just the same. And don't feel bad if you change your label at some point. Always be yourself and love the person you are and love the person that you will become.
     
    #7 Nichole, Jan 6, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2017
  8. Youset
    Meh

    Youset Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2017
    Messages:
    10
    Location:
    France
    Ratings:
    +5 / 0 / -0
    Attraction to each gender is not necessarily equal in bisexuality, so based on the percentages you mentioned I think you might want to consider yourself bisexual for the moment
     
  9. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    3,339
    Location:
    GrtrNY
    Ratings:
    +2,986 / 1 / -18
    Frequently, gay people like to think of themselves as at least a little bit bisexual because bisexuality is so much less final. It lets them hang onto a shred of hope that someday they might live "a normal life."

    The answer to that is finally to decide that living gay is living "a normal life" -- abandoning the last of one's self-doubt and feelings of inferiority.

    I don't know if you fall into that category, but it may be worth thinking about it.
     
  10. queenbi
    Kickass

    queenbi Hot Cookie
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2016
    Messages:
    43
    Location:
    Sweden
    Ratings:
    +40 / 0 / -0
    Thank you. I think I need to think about that more often, that it doesn't matter as much as I think it does. I know my parents will love and accept me, as you say, so really there should be nothing standing in my way of doing what I want to do.

    That's what I was thinking. I just feel like there might be a few misunderstandings if I say I'm bisexual and then actually likes like one guy every tenth year, you know. Because rn I'm so far from interested in guys and only think about girls. I don't know, this is why I'm so confused. But thanks for your comment ;) 

    I get what you mean, but I don't know if that's the case for me. I have no pressure whatsoever from the people around me to like a certain gender and no pressure from myself to be a certain way. It may be unconsciously though, I will think about it. Thanks!
     
  11. Youset
    Meh

    Youset Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2017
    Messages:
    10
    Location:
    France
    Ratings:
    +5 / 0 / -0
    Well, that's exactly why I added "for the moment", it's not final, you might identify as something else later on since sexuality is a spectrum, your sexual identity can move along the spectrum at any given point of your lifetime. However, all humans are predisposed to bisexuality, that is a fact of our condition, so even after gaining other sexualities -- throughout later psychological development, bisexuality remains latent. So, to me, what has always been there and will always be, can actually be used as the ultimate label.
     
    #11 Youset, Jan 7, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2017
  12. Isabel
    Angelic

    Isabel that day AGAIN O.o
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2016
    Messages:
    29
    Location:
    Swansea,Wales,UK
    Ratings:
    +8 / 0 / -0
    i understand where ur coming from i went thru the sme thing, but think bout who u see ur self with in the future n who ur mostly attracted to
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page