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Where did I go wrong?

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Beatriz_J, Nov 14, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Beatriz_J

    Beatriz_J Lurker

    Nov 14, 2017
    Maryland, USA
    +1 / 0 / -0
    This should not be the question that I'm asking myself, but now it feels like I am. I am currently a transsexual male to female that is just beginning to transition to a female (I am not doing surgery or medication at the moment, but I am beginning to wear women's clothing), and I am beginning to question myself a lot more than I thought I would, and the question is definitely not a question of family-friendly content. Am I a whore? I am questioning this to myself, and I am just unsure, and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack while writing this. I just do not know what to do anymore, I even said that I was an asexual to make people for sure believe I am not a whore, and I just feel stuck. I'm feeling like a petty piece of shit, and, even worse, I try to pretend that I'm okay so nobody worries, and then other people trample over me... I just feel like I took the path that screws me over, and now I am wondering where that path began...
  2. Missmissy griffin

    Missmissy griffin Great Learner
    Beloved Member

    Oct 12, 2017
    SF Bay Area
    +62 / 0 / -0
    Transitioning IS the hard part. That time from when you finally decide that yes you are reaally are trans, (oh Joy) till you look and "PASS" as your true self is So very hard. Crushingly hard some days.

    For me, being transsexual, just wearing female clothes was not very rewarding. Once I was on HRT, then it all started to click. Though the day to day interaction with people that first year or so was difficult. Luckily only some people had "issues" with me Alas, too many people questioning why I was doing it and that I had a demon in me..... Always lovely to hear that.. NOT.

    Myself I let go the people/family that gave me grief. Not easy either. How do you get through it... One day at a time. HRT helps, though the changes come very slowly. But they do come. The first 6-8 months are the worst, but then things get better and better.

    I'm 11 years on since that first day. My only complaint now is wishing I had started earlier.

    The best way to cope with it all is find a few people that support you 100 percent and talk to them every day or every other day.

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