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What's your story?

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Roos_21, Aug 9, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Roos_21

    Roos_21 Lurker

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    So what's your story? How did you found out that you are bi/pan/...? How was your first coming out?
    I'll tell you mine. So when I was at the age of 11 years I started to realize that I liked girls. It confused me because I never heard of being bi and I was sure that I was into guys. 2-3 years later I found more about bisexuality and had my first girl crush. It was really hard to except myself in the beginning because I had learned in the past that's it was not okay to like girls. That is the interpretation of my dad and my family who is a Muslim. It took me another 2 years to accept myself for who I am. After the long process I came out. It was so stressful but a big relief. Now I can say that I love myself for who I am!
     
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  2. silentmelody
    Starving

    silentmelody Shy and Bi
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    In the back of my mind, I always knew that I liked the same gender.

    When I was a kid, I only had female dolls and I would have them "marry" each other because there weren't any male dolls. They wouldn't even have to be a pair where one is seen as "the boy and the girl".

    In seventh grade, I came out as a lesbian and dated my first girlfriend for six months. Things happened during that time, and I stopped dating for a long time. In ninth grade, I started dating girls again.

    In the summer of tenth grade, I discovered that I actually liked boys too. A guy I had been talking to because of a mutual friend came into my interest, and we started dating. It was weird to have to come out to my friends as bi, but they were accepting and kind about it.

    I haven't had a relationship with a girl since then, but I do prefer girls over guys. It's just harder to find a girl that's my type.
     
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  3. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Reliable Contributor
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    Lovely story. :)  I started to have 'feelings' for girls at 12. First real crush by 13 on a teacher (cliche!), first on another girl closer to my age shortly after. First very innocent kiss at 14 (pretty short kiss on the lips). First real same sex experience at 15, with a friend from school. After a variety of experiences and girls, figured I was lesbian by 17 and lived as such for a time, but came to the point of realizing I was more a more 'lesbian leaning' bisexual. Came out to my parents at 18 (had told close friends earlier, gradually more over time). :) 
     
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  4. mari8
    Psychedelic

    mari8 Greenhorn
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    same here :D 
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 10, 2018 ---
    same here :D 
     
  5. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Reliable Contributor
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    I'm sure that has only happened a million times before with young girls and a pretty teacher they've had! lol
     
  6. mari8
    Psychedelic

    mari8 Greenhorn
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    the funny thing with me was my teacher wasn't "objectively" pretty and she was about 45 y.o. lmao
    but i really liked her attitude and, i don't know, the vibes she was giving
     
  7. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Reliable Contributor
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    Hey, I'm almost 45, are you saying women about my age aren't pretty? ;)  lol Yes, often the attitude and 'vibes' are what can make a woman attractive, even if she's not overly attractive. It almost makes up for the lack of significant physical beauty, especially if she has a more playful (even flirtatious) way about her, too (even if that flirtatiousness is not specifically directed at anyone; just her manner with people). :) 
     
  8. mari8
    Psychedelic

    mari8 Greenhorn
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    is it possible to be in love and not to think that the person you love is pretty? of course not! she was perfect for me... i just mean that she wasn't that type of teacher people usually imagine when somebody says "i'm in love with a teacher".
    and you look beautiful!
     
  9. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Reliable Contributor
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    Yes, so very true and yo make me blush, thank you for that compliment. I'll have to go wave my hands at my face now, feeling very flushed. ;)  lol
     
  10. Tamatha
    Tolerant

    Tamatha Hot Cookie
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    When i was 13 (now) i realized i'm bi. When i was a child, i feel like i'm a boy and my parents treated me as a boy sometimes lol. Well i just come out, but just a few peoples knows. My cousin, my best friend, and my girlfriend. I'm a muslim too, it was hard, so i just can wait for come out in front of my family.
    Well, it's depressing me cause of my religion and my homophobic country but i just can took a few breathes and thinking a plan to escape. That's me sometimes lol. That's my story.
     
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  11. NMWanderer

    NMWanderer Greenhorn

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    Is it okay for males to respond here? If not, tell me, and I will delete my response.

    I have always been fascinated by other males, but felt that relationships with females was how it was "supposed" to be. Naturally enough (so it seems) my first real confusion arose out of a sexual contact with another male. The result of a dare. I found myself very surprised at my mental and physical reaction to the situation, and that carried over past that experience. I felt terrible guilt and angst at what had happened and hid it for a long time. It was an encounter in Melbourne, Victoria, that another experience opened me up to realize I was, indeed, bisexual. Unfortunately I have found most conversations with other bisexual men turns sort of grimy, and I really do not like that. Women tend to be able to have a serious conversation about feelings and emotions, and I find that more comfortable when talking about sexual identity issues.

    Again! Please tell me if I am trespassing! I will delete immediately!
     
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  12. lovealwayswins

    lovealwayswins Lonely Lesbian
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    I was forced to. I had a friend who wouldn’t be your friend if you were heterosexual so I had to say I was bi, this friend ran my friendship group so you basically had to do what she said
    I didn’t mind being labelled as bisexual as I didn’t care what gender my partner was as long as they were nice (I didn’t know what pansexual was) and because I go to an all girls school I didn’t know what it was like to be with a boy so I started to date girls
    My first girlfriend was an absolute female dog if you don’t mind me using this language. She wanted to touch and kiss me on the first date and bad mouthed all my friends and actually broke the law at my school but my school hadn’t expelled her because she faked having depression and suicidal thoughts to get out of being expelled. Needless to say I dumped her within the first week

    After her I thought I just didn’t like girls because she kissed me (without consent mind you) and I didn’t like it

    But after a year I got a ‘crush’ on another girl and after I said I liked her I realised I didn’t like her in that way and I found out she was transphobic so that’s a no go

    I now realise I actually like girls and want to be with one but I’m still not sure about boys as I’ve never actually seen a teenage boy in the last 4 years. Yikes
     
  13. Just_Me _Rosa
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    Well i was like 17 when i started to figure it out but the thing is my mom knew before i did. One time in the car on our way to the supermarket she was just like “its okay if you like girls you know” and me being 15 was like mom ofcourse not pfff what are you talking about. But ofcourse there was JJ in criminal minds who looking at it now was
    certainly my first girl crush. But i came out about 2 years later. I was really drunk and it was the first time i was so i talked to my parents for about an hour before i told them i was gay. And thank God they were like we already kind of had a feeling you were so just go to bed now and we love you very much bla bla bla. So i went to bed and we didnt talk about it for 3 months. And then there was a really awkward confersation about gay rights and stuff like that and they were hinting to much in the way of me coming out so i did and then the next day it hit me that they thought i didnt remember the first time i came out to them. So if i had learned anything from that moment is that it is way less awkward coming out to your parents when your drunk. Although the next morning was less then good. So yeah that was my way to long story
     
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  14. hauchiko
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    hauchiko Addictive Contributor
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    My story doesn't really have a conclusion yet, I'm still questioning. I've been told I look gay or act gay or 'at least bi' most of my life. I hated that. I didn't want to be pushed into a box or be what everyone expected me to be. But now since some struggles with my friends and relationship, I've had a lot more time to myself, and I'm wondering if I may have been suppressing a part of who I am and who I'm attracted to. I think I may be bisexual, but I don't really have a way to explore that since I'm in a weird complicated relationship and I want to stay faithful to my girlfriend. So I'm a big mess of sexual confusion
     
  15. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Reliable Contributor
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    Don't force it, maybe you're really straight but just have some gay feelings at times (people can have that, too, lots of changes, fluidity, etc. with sexuality; I've met women who thought they were bi or lesbian, maybe even had a fling, but after that came to the conclusion they were really straight and just had moments of romantic/sexual interest in other women). Just take your time and let things happen as they will (and seek good counsel from people you trust). :) 
     
  16. hauchiko
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    hauchiko Addictive Contributor
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    I'm not trying to force it. If anything I think I was forcing being straight. I have opened up to a couple of friends (maybe two) and around them I'll talk about guys I find attractive (Benendict Cumberbatch) and it feels really liberating to be able to say it and mean it, if that makes sense. I'm not labelling myself a bisexual yet, it will take a lot longer for me to be able to do that, but for now I'm just trying to know who I am
     
  17. kostas

    kostas Greenhorn
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    I hide it or don't accept it for years, I snapped at my job when an older married guy started teasing me or hitting on me for months I don't know for sure but for sure he lied to other people that I told him I was gay and even though at the time I was in love with my old best girl friend who started a relationship with another guy. Now I try to deal daily with the akward situation at work and also with my sexuality. I think if I was gay it would be easier because I feel I have to choose what i want and I didn't had problems with my self esteem but now I have big ones like if I fail as a husband or father if I ever start a family because of that.
    The positives is that I started to like and understand why the LGBT community is something good and actually positive to people who have sexuality problems and need people to talk and understand.
     
    #17 kostas, Aug 16, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2018
  18. kuzco

    kuzco Greenhorn

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    well my story is short when i was 12 years old i was so into both genders i really did not felt less love for any gender . i am all ways on & off with both genders that makes me pansexual . and im happy livin my life .
     
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