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What am I?

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by wanderingcloud, Jun 10, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. wanderingcloud

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    This is going off solely on how I feel and it’s been worse lately on questioning. I am born a girl, with female parts, but sometimes that’s not exactly me. And I emphasize the sometimes because I do feel like a girl probably 65% of the time and the other 35% I feel like a guy. But it’s not just because I like girls and want to have more of a “butch” appeal. I like guys and girls (known from proven experience). It’s hard to describe. I can’t be who I want to be in this family either. No one would accept if I cut my hair short or bought a binder... I’m lost. I don’t know how to deal with this possible dysphoria and I’m kind of just looking for reassurance I guess? Or at least insight from someone who knows a little bit of what I’m talking about.
     
  2. Bornunderabadsign
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    Bornunderabadsign Transfeminine Natural Disaster
    Moderator Beloved Member

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    No one is 100% guy or girl. Gender is a spectrum. For most people they are close to the ends being either more male than female or more female than male. Most of the time I feel like I'm 60%-75% female and 40%-25% male. I was assigned the male gender because I was born with a penis but genitalia isn't a good indicator of gender.

    Gender and sexuality are not the same thing. You can be any gender and have any sexuality. For example I'm transfeminine and I'm a panromantic demisexual. Which means that I am a feminine person but my body wasn't that assigned that and I can fall in love with anyone but only feel sexual attraction after I have gotten to know someone a bit.

    Your account says you are 19 and if that is so then you are an adult. Do what makes you happy. If others can't accept that then screw them. Screw them hard. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to discover who you are.
     
  3. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    First, it's important to know you're not alone -- not everybody's gender identity is fixed in one specific place. The word most frequently used for it is "genderfluid," but that's just a word. You'll find other genderfluid people on this forum, and have a chance to explore your feelings with others who'll understand them.

    Maybe you'll decide to discuss your feelings with you family when you're a little older; but for now your best approach to making yourself more comfortable is to move in stages -- change the things you want to change about your appearance a little at a time. Add the "boy gear" you crave a little at a time; get your hair cut shorter over three or four visits to the stylist, not all at once. Moving slowly creates the smallest waves. The changes will accumulate, though -- so by the time you're ready to come out to your family, they may not be especially surprised.
     

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