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Virignity

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Being., Oct 9, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Being.
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    Being. "Save me from the nothing I've become"
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    I was just wondering if virginity is a big deal to other guys?
    I'm actually really upset that I threw mine away like I did and now I'll never be able to share or give that too a future partners and that's really eating at me inside.
    And I don't understand it. Because I don't mind if my partner is not a virgin. But I now feel like I'm broken or "used" for whoever I meet one day. :( 
     
  2. r3gulator3

    r3gulator3 Curious Explorer
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    I can totally respect that. I’m the kind of person who has to have an emotional connection with a person to have sex with them. (Not necessarily love, but something more that a message saying hook up with me here) I also believe you give a part of yourself to every person you get with.

    In my opinion to most virginity isn’t that big of a deal, and with the right person...it won’t be a big deal because at that moment, you’ll be giving all of yourself for the first time.


    “Being gay is like glitter, it never goes away.” -Lady Gaga-
     
  3. Lingeriesalesguy

    Lingeriesalesguy Hot Cookie
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    Virginity in general or your gay virginity?
     
  4. Westicles

    Westicles Curious Explorer
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    I can kinda understand where you're coming from. I lost my virginity two days after my 15th birthday, and it's been a year since and I don't miss it. However, I've never actually had my first kiss (I'm saving it for someone who I will mean it with, not just some casual fling) and I'd be disappointed if I used up my first kiss for no reason.

    Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
     
  5. Larry45
    Boner

    Larry45 Curious Explorer
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    I’m bi so it’s a little different for me. I didn’t think of it at the time but I lost my virginity to another guy when I was 13. I lost my virginity to a girl at 22. I tried to repress and ignore my gay experience so until recently I didn’t even count it
     
  6. Lingeriesalesguy

    Lingeriesalesguy Hot Cookie
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    I wish I would ha e lost my guy to guy virginity at a young age. Would have made things easier now.
     
  7. mask1985
    Dreaming

    mask1985 Shy bi guy
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    It's not a big deal really and when you meet the right guy for you he won't care I'm sure.

    To put this into some sort of perspective I lost my virginity to a girl when I was 16. It was a very rushed affair because we seized an opportunity when her house was empty for an hour or so. It wasn't the earth shattering experience I was expecting and I didn't really feel any different afterwards. Two years later I met the only boy so far who I have truly ever loved and after we had sex for the first time that was when I really felt that it was something special.

    Nothing subsequently has ever come close to that so I guess it's not about your first time but about your best time that really matters.
     
  8. Emiliano
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    Emiliano tinopinoribbean
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    To me, losing my virginity - as a top and as a bottom- were not really big deals to me in terms of how I felt about myself after or whether or not I was tainted for another man.

    The whole idea that having sex makes you impure or tainted seems very old fashioned to me, and somewhat of an internalization of mysoginist thinking.

    I figure those times were among the worst sex I have ever had too. I’d rather know what I’m doing and know what I want when I come across a better guy.

    Personally, I’d prefer not to sleep with virgins. I mean if I was really into a guy I probably wouldnt turn him away. But it’s a lot of pressure. And I just prefer a more experienced guy.
     
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  9. Being.
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    Being. "Save me from the nothing I've become"
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    I have no idea what that means. But I was bought up very religious. So it's probably that nagging at me.
     
  10. Emiliano
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    Emiliano tinopinoribbean
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    At least in American culture, and I’d assume in most western cultures, when a man, assumed to be the one penetrating the other, loses his virginity it’s like a rite of passenge, it’s celebrated.

    When women, assumed to be the one being penetrated, it’s not quite the same thing. In some cultures women can be killed or divorced for not being virgins on their wedding nights - because of the idea that another man has “ruined” her, or that it means she is impure because she’s slept with other men... that’s all very misogynistic thinking.

    Men are allowed to penetrate as much as they want, but women who have a lot of sex are called sluts or people make jokes about how they loose they are.

    I think that translates to gay men as well. That the men who penetrate are better the more they have sex, but the men who are penetrated are somehow made lesser. It has its roots in misogyny.

    Had you topped your first time do you think you’d feel “broken or used”?

    I was raised very non religious. And for the majority of my life by women. Women who are incredibly open about sex, way more than I am, my sisters make me blush all the time the way they talk. So rather than having religion tell me that I am dirty to be having sex, I had very feminist sisters calling me a vanilla prude.

    So we have two very different influences on our thoughts about sex lol.
     
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    #10 Emiliano, Oct 10, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2018
  11. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    It's surprising you have such an old-fashioned idea as though there's any value left in staying virgin in 21 century, especially you being a gay guy. Maybe. in general, older guys over 50 or something still share your idea? I've met a straight Brit guy who's a serious Christian and still a virgin at 25yrs or something, who told me proudly that he will keep his virginity till he gets marred to his fiance who was also a virgin. Everyone has different views, but I don't think this is something you should worry about, since you have lost it, and most of people don't care such thing. Personally, a virgin man's kind of scary to me for the possibility of a major misunderstanding/expectation and disastrous sex. lol
     
  12. Soheil
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    Soheil Poor Pluto's Another Me
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    Interesting. I didn't know it was that global. I mean the idea about being top or bottom and the importance of it. Thought maybe it's not the case in the western countries.

    About gay men yeah, It relates to "sexism". That's the problem. A gay assumed to be like a woman, And woman assumed to be the lesser sex. So gays assumed to be lesser too. That's why someone specifically hates gay men.
     
  13. Emiliano
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    Emiliano tinopinoribbean
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    I can only speak as an American but I’d assume it’s across the western world. Relative to how it is in other parts of the world it may not be as severe. But I get the idea that that sort of idea of masculinity is kind of universal. Because men tend to be universally the more socially powerful gender. If that makes sense.
     
  14. Westicles

    Westicles Curious Explorer
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    It's like this in Australia.... although much less severe

    Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
     

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