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Unsure if I'm bi

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by samiraliberteme, Apr 13, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. samiraliberteme

    samiraliberteme Greenhorn

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    Hello. I’m struggling with finding where I belong. I don’t know if I’m bi or not. Here’s what happens: since I lost weight an increasing number of guys became interested in me, I never gave it a second thought most of the time as I identified myself as straight. Now I kinda have a small crush but it does not even compare to the feeling I have with crush on girls. The thing is while I watch gay porn he comes to my mind and I imagine myself giving him oral sex (im frightened about other types of sex with guys). Sometimes I want to give it a shot and talk to him, but I’m afraid if I don’t feel anything I might hurt his feelings and he may think i just used him as a sex toy or something.
    I kissed a boy only once and I didn’t fell anything, but he wasn’t my type at all and I didn’t find him attractive.
    It’s so hard, I’m attract to girls way more than boys, and I’m very picky with the boys too. Honestly I don’t think I can call myself bisexual as my feelings towards men are not intense.
    Most guys I notice are more feminine and masculine guys freight me too.
    I was wondering if anyone in here had a similar experience and could share with me – I already lurked all the “am i bisexual” posts here too and thought I’d make one myself.
    Sorry for the long post.
     
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  2. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Whatsername
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    Bisexual simply means that you are capable of experiencing romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one gender (Robyn Ochs). It does not have to be in equal measure. I'm attracted to many guys, but I'm more selective with women. A few have captured my attention, including my girlfriend :D 

    Well, I wouldn't feel anything in that situation either.
     
  3. Passenger

    Passenger Hot Cookie
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    Sounds like you might be bisexual but still heteromantic. I'm still trying to figure myself out but that's what I'm leaning towards!
     
  4. samiraliberteme

    samiraliberteme Greenhorn

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    Thanks for this. I don't feel attracted in equal measure either. It's great to hear other people also feel this way, lately I've pushing myself to notice guys and girls equally so if I spot a girl on the street I immediately have to spot a guy. Sounds pretty dumb saying it now.

    Sent from my Moto Z2 Play using Tapatalk
     
  5. Palmyra26

    Palmyra26 Lurker

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    My situation is very, very similar to what you said and, in my case, it really helped to think of/realise that sexuality is fluid. I like to think of bisexuality as a spectrum of sorts. If you are definitely more attracted to one gender than another, you are just more on one side of the bisexuality spectrum. There's nothing wrong with being more attracted to one gender and picky with another. Your label is your label, you don't even have to use a word to describe your sexuality if you didn't want to. I still use the word gay to describe my sexuality as an umbrella term because it's what makes me comfortable (technically pan/omnisexual, but that's off topic) to talk about and think about myself as.
    Just know that what you're feeling is totally fine. I've only ever met one bisexual who have a true 50/50 attraction to guys and girls, and they're a true outlier.

    Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk
     
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  6. Aussie bi guy
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    Aussie bi guy Great Learner
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    For me (I'm married ) I'm like 55% for women 45% for men. But if I wasn't married and I found the right guy then I'd probably lean more towards men.
     
  7. ConfusedButHappy
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    ConfusedButHappy Bi Closet Dweller
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    Going to add to the chorus about bisexuality not having to be 50/50.

    In fact... my level of attraction towards guys and gals seems to shift daily.
    One day I'll notice lots of cute guys. Then I end up thinking "oh no... what if I'm gay".
    The next day I notice lots of cute girls and start worrying - "oh no... what if I'm straight".
     
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  8. Sinre

    Sinre Curious Explorer
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    Meanwhile for my part I don’t believe in percentages.

    I’m 100% bisexual. I believe focusing on the percentage split reinforces that I’m gay or straight. And if that shifts (which it will, with hormones, moods, who I’m attracted to), then I feel like I’m betraying part of myself by the shift.


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  9. samiraliberteme

    samiraliberteme Greenhorn

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    Thanks for all replies, I'm more peaceable with myself now. I do notice my attractions vary from periods to periods so hearing other people say they feel this way too eased my mind. Still have a lot of questions and I think it will take some time to figure myself out but I'm happy this forum exists and you all are very supportive.
     
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  10. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Whatsername
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    For years, I thought I couldn't be bi because my attractions aren't equal. The 50/50 myth is pretty pernicious.
     
  11. Larry45
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    Larry45 Reliable Advisor
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    I’m also more attracted to women but still very much bisexual
     
  12. Birdwatcher87
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    Birdwatcher87 Happy to be Bi!
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    I’ve been in the same exact boat too.

    As I’ve learned more about my bisexuality, I’ve noticed how much it can fluctuate and change day by day.

    I find that my attraction to guys one day might be really strong and other days, I’m not too sure. Another thing that I’ve noted too is that I find certain types of guys attractive more than others and that can change at times too.

    I’m really happy to be bi, I prefer the opposite gender much much more, but knowing that I can have these feelings for guys as well feels awesome!

    Always be yourself and take your time. No matter what way you feel, you’re always cool!
     
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  13. Doglover44

    Doglover44 Curious Explorer
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    I'm married but still like guys don't do precent numbers I just know I like both
     

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