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Ugh dating websites

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Pepperminta, Feb 8, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Pepperminta

    Pepperminta Hot Cookie
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    who said dating was easy? I am on this dating website where i clearly stated i have only recently come out as bi and that i have not dated women before but been crushing on women. Last relationship with a guy was 6 yrs ago. I am looking for women going through the same. Friends basically. A lady writes me and asks for my phone number and i reply and tell her i dont give it out easily esp on the internet. Then she suggested meeting but wouldnt even give me her name and when i said id prefer getting to know her first she accused me of just playing around and she does not understand it why i wont meet her. I find it pretty rude...or am i too careful? Thoughts?
     
  2. Being.
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    Being. Takodana Takeover
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    Oh that's common on dating websites.
    What happens is there are a lot of " just curious people" who eventually get scared and never meet after months of talking, so people want to meet up front to make sure you're real. But yeah. It's odd if they won't say who they are. Be careful
     
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  3. Jayme82
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    On dating websites being bi also my experience has been it's harder than being gay or Straight because I have friends that are both and been on dating sites and they didn't have the same trouble I have some people think your confused and that you'll switch teams on them because you don't really know what you want but people who aren't bi often don't get that we were born this way as they were born gay or Straight
     
  4. Pepperminta

    Pepperminta Hot Cookie
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    Thank you for your comment Being.
    That makes total sense to me. Because it is annoying when you talk and you click but one person wont meet up. Almost like catfish haha. But as she said to me "i bet if i were a guy youd meet me right away". I knew i had to stop talking to her. Id prefer a date with a woman right now. But rude is rude. The gender is of no importance.
     
  5. Pepperminta

    Pepperminta Hot Cookie
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    Crazy isnt it? You would think they understand. I have never been a fan of online dating. But im shy so i tried it. Still not a fan haha. I understand that its upsetting some women are married and want fool around with a woman and then go back to their guys...that i get is upsetting. They dont want an emotional connection. But like you said...we did not choose this. It just is the way it is. I like the word pansexual because its about the person. Thank you for your input. I feel a lot better:) 
     
  6. Jellyfish
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    Dating websites are rough, personally I've never had much success on them cause everyone is more interested in hooking up rather than getting to know each other (but maybe I've just had shitty experiences) :/
     
  7. AlexandriaJoelle
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    I’m sorry, but if I’m on a dating app and someone says they are just looking for friends, I know that means they are just looking for casual hookups . Or at least that’s been my experience. I do think it’s extremely odd if the person you are talking to won’t give you a real name , though. I think you did the right thing by stopping the conversation. Hopefully that woman was just a one off and that you’ll find what you’re looking for . I’ve used dating apps twice now, both times I met a long term gf in less than a day . But apparently that’s not the same for everyone. Good luck
     
  8. Anoi
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    Oh gods! I can't imagine meeting someone straight away! It takes me ages getting comfortable enough for the littlest thing and I have only ever been on one kinda date before in my whole 30 years of life. I am going to die alone due to anxiety and asexuality :( 
     
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  9. Bikkushii

    Bikkushii Greenhorn
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    I'v never had any luck on dating sites. People move too fast for my liking and the amount of times people get all bitchy if you don't immediately go on video calls to "prove you'r real". I could send a selfie of me standing next to the pc with the post on the screen and it still wouldn't be good enough!

    I just want to talk to people via messages before I pluck up the courage because I can't do phone calls - I hate them.
     
  10. Blacktgirlanimefan

    Blacktgirlanimefan Black lives matter and animation for life
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    I can understand why people are like that. A lot of people like to trick people online so this is their way of making sure they're not getting catfished.
     
  11. Yami Bakura
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    I honestly don't has much experience with any dating site. I have thought about joining one but am afraid.... especially being trans and pre-t, I don't want to be somepony's "fetish" or experiment if that makes sense. I don't have any experience to offer.

    I think it is just common sense to just be careful, be honest with people, and kind of "feel them out" (figuratively speaking) and get to know them. Sometimes you have to go through a bunch of duds to find a diamond. That sounds corny, I know but it is true.

    Personally, call the girl out on her shit, and tell her she's being rude. Your orientation is valid and you deserve to have somepony treat you with kindness and respect as we all do. I wish I could offer better advice. I really hope it works out for you because you're really nice and deserve someone that will treat you with love and respect.
    -Bakura
     
  12. SueCAS

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    I am the same way, I have to really get to know the person well before even meeting in person, being cautious is always a good thing. Anxiety and being somewhat shy does not help matters though, lol.
     
  13. ObsidianKnight
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    ObsidianKnight Genderfluid Drag King afab lesbian
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    The person who messaged you sounds creepy and coercive at best, and abusive at worst. None of those things are good, and all red flags. That is hopefully a one off, though women are capable of being shitty, usually they aren't as commonly creepy as Cishet men, since usually women are targets of creepiness and usually don't ever desire to put other women in that position. But occasionally you get some manipulative people who are rude and crappy.
    I hope you have better luck in the future. Don't let one bad apple ruin it for you, and just have patience and get to know people, don't take it personally if someone stops responding after a week or two. And also remember you don't owe anyone your time or attention, so it is okay to stop replying yourself. Just don't do that after you already establish a relationship with someone haha.

    I met most of my long term relationships online. My two current girlfriends (I am polyamorous) being 4 years and the other is 2 years long. One I live with and the other is long distance, both I met online. One was through OKC and the other was randomly on FB without any intention of looking for a relationship, we just clicked. Things happen as they are meant to. Just enjoy dating around or casually flirting, practice your seduction skills, and when the time is right and the right person or people come a long, you will be fully prepared to charm their socks off.
     

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