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The feeling that everyone talks about you behind your back

Discussion in 'Self Esteem/Self Worth' started by Fabi, Dec 29, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Fabi
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    Fabi Great Learner
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    Does anyone else ever gets that feeling or is it just me?

    It´s stupid to think that. But everytime my collegues talk and I don´t exactly what they talk about, I think they talk about me. Especially when I did something wrong or I just feel like everything I do is wrong. It´s terrible.
     
  2. Pibaire
    Fine

    Pibaire Village Idiot
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    I've heard it said that we'd worry much less about what other's think of us if we knew just how seldom they actually do.
    It's not stupid; often in interpersonal relationships when we have no other information to go on, we tend to personalize things, when in actuality there's nothing there to take personally. They might be discussing the latest football match.
    Please don't call yourself 'stupid'; such self-talk is utterly toxic and corrosive to your sense of Self.
    When such messages arise in your mind, please give yourself a generous benefit of the doubt, and see them as not only untrue, but probably not even you talking. Often as not, such self-loathing was programmed into us by people who did not love us, or have our best interests at heart. Over time, we've internalized their hostility, and long after they're gone, they're still tormenting us from within. As they're both untrue and malicious in intent, you're under no compunction to listen to them any more.
    When I started to challenge such thoughts in my mind, it felt silly, awkward, and contrived, but the more consistently I did it, the less compelling such thoughts became, and the less frequently they would arise.
    Please be gentle with yourself.
     
  3. Fabi
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    Fabi Great Learner
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    Thank you! You don´t know how much I needed this!
     
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