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Transsexual Surgery pressure

Discussion in 'Transsexual' started by Lauralashes, Mar 5, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Lauralashes

    Lauralashes Lurker

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    I’m new to the forum and it’s great to find a resource like this. I have been transitioning MTF for three and a half years now but things accelerated when I met me very supportive boyfriend a 18 months ago. I met him through my friend group hence why I am posting here for advice rather than asking them.

    He has always been very supportive of my journey and always liked the way I looked and how I was becoming more confident. He often pays for waxing and helps me look my best. However he noticed that I was becoming frustrated with the stall in breast growth and suggested he would pay for surgery.

    I wasn’t sure at first, but eventually agreed. Perhaps because he was paying I ended up taking his advice and getting bigger boobs than I had originally planned and was very upset after the surgery as it hurt, and, well, these things are heavy! Because of the size I had ended up with obviously fake round “bolt on” boobs and was upset that I looked a bit fake.

    Fast forward a few months and I now love the fake look and it’s given me massive confidence. I’m actually happier than ever and actually feel like I am where I want to be.

    However I am not sure that’s where my boyfriend wants me to be. Over the last few months he has been suggesting he will pay for reassignment surgery and despite me not engaging he’s becoming more determined about it.

    Now, I am happy the way I am. I really am. I don’t really want another operation and especially one I am not sure about.

    However he has paid for a lot, and I feel under pressure. He loves the way I look too but just seems to keep pushing me and it’s making me nervous and stressed. He also repeatedly mentions I wasn’t sure about the boob job but this is so very different to me.

    What do I do? Any advice would be helpful. I am happy in my skin finally and not sure I should change for someone else now.
     
  2. Hangetsutai
    Feminine

    Hangetsutai \(0.0)/\(^.^)/\(>.<)/\(×.×)/
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    SRS is a serious surgery and has life time implications it should only be done if YOU have looked in to it extensiviely AND then want to do it. My thoughts for what they are worth is that you should just be honest about it and say how you feel. Any relationship needs honest communication to work and he needs to understand your side and if your happy the way you are dont change for anyone we do this for our self not others
    Hope i helped in some way
    Love and hugs
    Juliana ♡
     
  3. Funk Pirate
    Horny

    Funk Pirate The poly, naughty bi-trans futa ^^ happy to chat
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    I strongly agree.

    You only change as far as makes you conformable, no one should force you into anything you don't want.

    When it came to the breast surgery you had at least sent him signals or straight out told him that your breast size was not making you happy, so getting the surgery became a mental necessity, however when it comes to the lower surgery, that takes a lot more thinking as it not just adding material. It will make a BIG change and needs to be considered and your bf needs to understand this and to give you space and time and ultimately if in the end you don't want it, well hes gonna have to lump it.

    Don't be forced into it and do communicate to him about this, say its a big choice to make and that right now, its not what you want. Maybe mention down the line it may be an option (unless you know you never want it).

    Just remember it is your body and not his regardless of how much money he has, and if he cannot see that, then does he truly love YOU.

    ~Fiona.
     
  4. Lauralashes

    Lauralashes Lurker

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    Thank you. This is really helpful (and supportive)! Going to have a discussion about this and see where it ends up. I’m happy where I am now and don’t really want to move away from that when it took a long journey to get here.
     
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  5. Funk Pirate
    Horny

    Funk Pirate The poly, naughty bi-trans futa ^^ happy to chat
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    I hope that the discussion goes well :D  and that you BF can see you and what you want!

    ~Fiona.
     
  6. Foxglove
    Frustrated

    Foxglove Traveler
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    I just wanted to say that I strongly agree with the others on this thread. You're saying you're happy the way you are. That certainly suggests that you might be seriously unhappy if you change things. You're saying you don't want another operation, especially one you're not sure about.

    This is a huge decision to make, one you absolutely need to be sure about before you proceed. Otherwise, you might well be doing something that will make you very unhappy for a long time to come.

    I'd want to know why your boyfriend is pressuring you so much. Is he saying he won't like you if you don't go ahead? I'd want to clarify that.

    In the end, "your body, your choice," you know? I myself certainly wouldn't allow anybody to pressure me over something like this. It's a huge thing, and really, I think you need to be sure you really want to do it.
     

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