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so, here I go I guess

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by curiosi-tea, Jun 18, 2016.  |  Print Topic

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  1. curiosi-tea

    curiosi-tea Lurker

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    Hi everyone,

    Even at the moment of putting the letters on the screen i'm still not sure what i'm doing.
    But I guess it is in any case good to get it off my chest.
    Basically it's like this:
    I am a 27yo tall and (I think) handsome guy. I make music.
    I've always had relationships with girls, the last ones at least for two years. They were amazing relationships each with their reasons to end. I am attracted to women and watch heterosexual porn of all sorts.

    During my life, I have had a fantasy of having sex with men, mostly receiving. I have watched gay porn and still do. I have experimented with anal toys and I like it, even during my relationships. Never mentioned it to my (girl)friends though. To nobody. Lately I have been thinking about this a lot more. Watching gay porn, fantasizing. I catch myself sometimes 'knowing' that someone is gay, obviously my subconscious wanting it to be maybe. I even told a girl last night drunk that I wouldn't mind if her boyfriend did stuff to me.

    The funny thing is, I think I couldn't imagine a romantic relationship with a guy. I get an awkward feeling when I imagine 'him' coming home after work and me saying 'hey honey how was your day?' and then kissing. I think it is limited to a sexual fantasy. Maybe some sort of domination?
    I think my utmost fantasy is to have a threesome with a guy and a girl. But maybe, if it would happen in real life, I would not enjoy it as much as I fantasize about right now.

    I think it all has to do with the fact that at this point in my life I want to know the real me, not hiding. I want to understand and accept fully who I am in every possible way. But maybe it is fine to keep it as a secret? The only thing is I have no idea where to begin. I already get quite scared on a chatroom with random gay guys.
    Should I have a first experience? Is it just a fantasy?
    I think i'm definitely sort of bisexual. Or curious.
    Does anyone have any tips?
    Currently I live in a small town in west yorkshire.

    Thank you very much in advance
     
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  2. ._keri_.

    ._keri_. Pansexual
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    You should experiment ^^ if you keep fantasizing about it, must mean something right? You only have one chance to live so why not? Its part of life to try new things out, helps us to know what we like and what we dont like, If it will help you to understand yourself better and accept who you are.
     
  3. Wolfie0001
    Innocent

    Wolfie0001 Well-Known Advisor
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    If you're single, there's nothing wrong with experimenting, if you get the chance. Then you'll know whether you like it or LOVE it ;) 
     
  4. Timpap
    Breezy

    Timpap Talk to me if you want to.
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    Honestly, i also think the way you did. I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with a girl but i really want to have a girlfriend.

    I guess you/we should explore more. As i read above ^^ if your single you better experiment or explore new things to find the answer.
     
  5. KingSlayer
    Badass

    KingSlayer Prince That Was Promised
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    yes explore your curiuosity.
     
  6. Metal_Daddy
    Shitfaced

    Metal_Daddy Great Learner
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    Might as well experiment, nothing to lose (potentially a lot to gain!)
     
  7. curiosi-tea

    curiosi-tea Lurker

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    Thanks for all the kind words! I guess I just have to start somewhere. Thing is that I don't have any gay friends. I live in a small town at the moment so I feel kind of exposed if you know what I mean. A big city would feel a bit more anonymous, but maybe that is just my fear trying to come up with a barrier. Is it okay to ask how you would approach a next step, or is it better to check out an existing thread?
     
  8. ._keri_.

    ._keri_. Pansexual
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    If you want to make friends who can understand you then this is the perfect place ^^ you can talk to anyone of us, if you have questions or just want to talk.
     
  9. ProudBisexual
    WTF

    ProudBisexual Bisexual and proud! ^_^
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    There's nothing wrong with exploring and being curious ^_^ welcome to the forums! :) 
     
  10. Wazz

    Wazz Greenhorn
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    Hey fellow Yorkshireman! I live in Huddersfield :D 
    As long as you are not in a relationship now, there is nothing wrong with experimenting. If you feel up to it, perhaps try a "Hookup" app such as grindr? Good luck!
     

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