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Bisexual So done with questioning bleh

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Luna93, Aug 1, 2020 at 4:30 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Luna93
    Confused

    Luna93 Questioning 4ever
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    When I was 22 (I'm 26 now) I started to think I was bi, but since then I haven't felt compelled to date or sleep with girls. If I am heterosexual (or even heteroflexible) that is fine, but I have been questioning since I was 22, and I don't know why I still am. I still fantasize about girls but I can't bring myself to be with one. I'm ready to move on from the "questioning" phase to "understanding my sexuality". Could it be that I'm just overthinking and I'm not actually bi?
     
  2. BiBearSSNV
    Caffeine Fix

    BiBearSSNV Daddy Bear
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    Finality statements are so.... FINAL. Just my opinion, but give yourself a break. You do not have to fit perfectly into some label. I think that it is great that you have an active fantasy life that includes girls. Even if you never hookup, that does not negate the fact that you still desire in your fantasies. I am the same with guys. Though my reasons for not being with one differ from yours.

    Do what clicks with you. I guess what I am trying to convey, though I am stumbling about doing so, is that If you are past the "questioning phase" awesome! It is very liberating to figure a piece of the puzzle out and feel freed by that revelation, BUT don't let that stop you from exploring other ideas or feelings as they come along. You never know there might be a better revelation for you out there.

    I don't know, but to me if you fantasize and desire in those fantasies a same sex coupling, but you also want and follow a hetero lifestyle, then I think you are Bisexual. At least that is my opinion. But then I am one of the weirdos that think EVERYONE is Bi, they just have different ratios of desires. :D 
     
  3. Luna93
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    Luna93 Questioning 4ever
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    I don't enjoy desiring girls in my fantasies however because I feel I can't develop a relationship in real life. I don't like having that extra thing that goes on in my head while I am trying to see if I can live a hetero lifestyle. I do need to calm down and take a break though haha.

    Yeah I wonder if I fit in the "split attraction model" because I have romantic fantasies about guys but sexual ones about girls. Haha everyone is probably bi to some degree lol. I just don't feel I fit in the bisexual label because I haven't been in a romantic relationship with a girl. I've only ever been with one guy and I rarely like a guy romantically. I only ever was interested in one or two guys. throughout my life. I hope I can be okay with continuing to be in the questioning phase, even though it's frustrating as heck!
     
  4. La-chonk

    La-chonk Greenhorn
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    Hello! Are you familiar with Bi.org? It has some super helpful non judgmental resources to use as you question and explore. https://bi.org/en/101


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  5. Skyliner

    Skyliner Greenhorn

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    What do you think?

    I'm not being facetious by the way :) 

    Don't forget, we are not compelled to live our lives a certain way even though it can sometimes feel like it :) 
     
  6. Luna93
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    Luna93 Questioning 4ever
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    Thank you for sending this! I've never seen this before. I already read a bunch of it and it's informing me a lot [​IMG]:) 



    I think I have a sexually attraction in my head to girls that I don't wish to act upon, but my romantic preference would be a guy. I think I am also grey/demiromantic.

    I just wish I didn't have sexual fantasies/attraction to girls that I know I will never pursue. I just want my fantasies to be of guys only lol but I've never had sexual fantasies about guys. That's the conflicting part of it all. I have differing attractions to guys and girls but maybe that's just a typical bi experience?
     
  7. Skyliner

    Skyliner Greenhorn

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    Hi Luna.

    I rebelled against my attraction to men for years but that was the product of society and my peers - once I broke that down I felt very differently as most of you here know. Personally, I don't think the potential effects of "programming" by straight society can be underestimated.

    I do have differing attractions to men and women but I do have sexual fantasies about both.

    In this post I'm only saying how it is for me and that is all.

    :) 
     
  8. Luna93
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    Luna93 Questioning 4ever
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    Hi Skyliner. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you were able to break down society's influence on how you should act/feel. I don't know if peer and society influence plays a big role for me. I've lived in very LGBTQ friendly and accepting places and yet I still feel insecure and unsure of myself. Heck even my parents accept me although I've changed my mind about my sexuality so many times. That's why even when all the barriers are down, I still can't bring myself to romantically connect with a woman.

    It bugs me quite a bit that I can't feel a sexual pull toward men as I do with women (at least in my head I do). I don't have any experience with either gender although I've dated both in the past. Generally I feel more comfortable talking to and socializing with men more than I do women. That's why I feel like a partnership with a man would be more likely for me despite my perceived lack of sexual attraction and even romantic for the most part (with the exception of one guy). I hope with more life experience I can figure out who I truly am :) 
     

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