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slut shaming... where they right?

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Arianne, Dec 5, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Being.
    No Mood

    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I know it sounds fucked up. But in my mind if I deserved it. And it made him happy. Then I don't have to use a lable like rape.
    How can it be rape when I enjoyed it to an extent even though it was forced?.
    That single thought has screwed with me.
     
  2. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    OK Being, I hear you. Now listen up: this is how it works. The definition of rape:

    Penetrative sex took place during which the other party broke your consent.

    ...that's it, the whole definition of rape.
    • It doesn't matter how deeply engaged you were in an (up to that point) consensual act of sex.
    • It doesn't matter how much enjoyment you might have been getting out of it up to the point that consent was breached.
    • It doesn't matter if you had to carry on and "pretend" out of fear.
    • It doesn't matter if you were stimulated to orgasm.
    YOU. WERE. RAPED.
    There is NO shame in having been raped. Absolutely none. It isn't a label that has stuck to you and made you worthless. It's a CRIME that was committed against your person. You are a human being (hey look, it's even your username!) and you have RIGHTS.
     
  3. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I... I was raped. Holy fuck.
    I need time to process this.
     
  4. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Well done! By all means take time to process it, but not time to brood and get trapped in that introspective spiral of self-hate, OK?

    I need to ask you one more question before I let go of this hug. What country do you live in? It's just so I can give you a useful phone number to call. If you don't want to announce it in open forum, send me a private message.

    I'm proud of you. We all are.
     
  5. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    OK, Being - I've sent you a private message (or "started a conversation" as they say here). It contains useful info, web links etc. Check it out, yes? :) 
     
  6. AudryLeigh
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    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    Zen, we are still animals -- mammals to be precise. We have always been animals, and always will be.

    Oh, and Being -- what Thespis said.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  7. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    Yes, I agree. It will take 2 more centuries, then hopefully, we'll find some ways to become something better. ;) 
     
  8. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Just an update. I contacted a sexual abused email address. I'm still to scared to see anyone in person. But I know they reply now.
     
  9. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    This has been a pretty weird thread, and I certainly hope nobody's nose was pushed too far out of joint. (And that's a pretty weird metaphor, considering that noses aren't jointed.)

    I just thought that I'd remind everyone that we're a very multicultural assemblage here, and hence likely to differ somewhat in our cultural norms -- including things like just how many garments one should wear in different situations, but also going well beyond those -- so hanging out on this board requires a bit of what anthropologists call "cross-cultural relativism."

    There was a trans-man in my working class neighborhood a few years back who used to mow his lawn wearing just his bra and panties. People thought it odd, but nobody was all that offended -- and when Spring rolled into Summer, nobody much noticed anymore. How would that go over in your neighborhood?

    Live and let live: it's really all we can ask of others, and others should be able to expect it of us.
     
  10. KinMer

    KinMer Lurker

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    For me no malice. If they are true friends they can accept your flaws. Being your real. Anyway hello im new here. ☺
     
  11. Jay Cgn
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    Jay Cgn Slytherin
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    Arianne
    Let me tell you one thing:
    It doesn’t matter at all how old you are or if they have seen you in swimwear before!
    This is your body and your decision in how far you are okay with people seeing it.
    As a girl, I can tell you one thing:
    No matter what you do - people will always look at you and think whatever they want.
    Summer 2018 I was wearing short dungarees and a cropped top. You know what happened? A guy thought this was an invitation to get on my nerves and didn’t even leave after I told about 20 times to just leave me alone.
    And there’s NO difference between physical or mental attacks!

    This should not be normal, this is never right! And this is definitely not your fault!

    There are too many people who are ashamed of their bodies. Just be glad that you can live that free in your body and show it openly without being ashamed!

    You’re beautiful and you’re allowed to show it however you want.

    Take care
    Xx
     

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