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slut shaming... where they right?

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Arianne, Dec 5, 2018 at 10:47 AM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I know it sounds fucked up. But in my mind if I deserved it. And it made him happy. Then I don't have to use a lable like rape.
    How can it be rape when I enjoyed it to an extent even though it was forced?.
    That single thought has screwed with me.
     
  2. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    OK Being, I hear you. Now listen up: this is how it works. The definition of rape:

    Penetrative sex took place during which the other party broke your consent.

    ...that's it, the whole definition of rape.
    • It doesn't matter how deeply engaged you were in an (up to that point) consensual act of sex.
    • It doesn't matter how much enjoyment you might have been getting out of it up to the point that consent was breached.
    • It doesn't matter if you had to carry on and "pretend" out of fear.
    • It doesn't matter if you were stimulated to orgasm.
    YOU. WERE. RAPED.
    There is NO shame in having been raped. Absolutely none. It isn't a label that has stuck to you and made you worthless. It's a CRIME that was committed against your person. You are a human being (hey look, it's even your username!) and you have RIGHTS.
     
  3. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I... I was raped. Holy fuck.
    I need time to process this.
     
  4. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Well done! By all means take time to process it, but not time to brood and get trapped in that introspective spiral of self-hate, OK?

    I need to ask you one more question before I let go of this hug. What country do you live in? It's just so I can give you a useful phone number to call. If you don't want to announce it in open forum, send me a private message.

    I'm proud of you. We all are.
     
  5. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    OK, Being - I've sent you a private message (or "started a conversation" as they say here). It contains useful info, web links etc. Check it out, yes? :) 
     
  6. AudryLeigh
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    AudryLeigh Proud tGirl
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    Zen, we are still animals -- mammals to be precise. We have always been animals, and always will be.

    Oh, and Being -- what Thespis said.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  7. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    Yes, I agree. It will take 2 more centuries, then hopefully, we'll find some ways to become something better. ;) 
     
  8. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Just an update. I contacted a sexual abused email address. I'm still to scared to see anyone in person. But I know they reply now.
     
  9. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    This has been a pretty weird thread, and I certainly hope nobody's nose was pushed too far out of joint. (And that's a pretty weird metaphor, considering that noses aren't jointed.)

    I just thought that I'd remind everyone that we're a very multicultural assemblage here, and hence likely to differ somewhat in our cultural norms -- including things like just how many garments one should wear in different situations, but also going well beyond those -- so hanging out on this board requires a bit of what anthropologists call "cross-cultural relativism."

    There was a trans-man in my working class neighborhood a few years back who used to mow his lawn wearing just his bra and panties. People thought it odd, but nobody was all that offended -- and when Spring rolled into Summer, nobody much noticed anymore. How would that go over in your neighborhood?

    Live and let live: it's really all we can ask of others, and others should be able to expect it of us.
     

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