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Should I come out to my friends? If so, how?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Azura, Nov 19, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Azura

    Azura yuri trash
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    Should I come out to someone I just met and am friends with? Like, I have a couple of friends that I've just made recently and they're all nice people, but I'm just still scared of coming out. I know they'll be chill about it, but it's just really hard for to say it out loud. Like sometimes we would be talking about love, and then they would ask me what's my type or why I still don't have a boyfriend or something... and I just have to laugh or shrug it off or say something like its super hard for me to find someone (without actually giving them the exact detail on why it's hard e.g. femme girl liking other femme girls). I really want to tell them that I like girls, but I guess I just don't have the courage to say it out loud. I feel like if I don't say anything from the start, the misunderstanding will just keep on building more and more to the point that it will make it ever harder for me to tell them later on. What do you guys think? I guess I want to come out but I just don't have that courage to do it. When I try to say it out loud, the words just get stuck in my throat and I feel like crying sometimes cuz I'm "different" from the average person and I guess I just feel embarrassed/ashamed about it or something idk.
     
  2. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Aw Azura, you're making it so hard for yourself. You do realise that it's not going to be as big of a deal to your friends as it is to you, right? You like girls...those are just 3 words...it's not a comprehensive description of everything that you are; it's just part of you.
    Just say it. Say it to them, say it to us here, now :)  You are you and you are wonderful. You don't need shame or guilt, just like they aren't trying to shame you by asking. Is this context "Who do you like" isn't meant to be a super deep conversation about identity; it's a "This weather we're having, huh?" kind of thing so don't make it deep and scary :)  You can do this!
     
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  3. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Hey Azura,
    Nobody can tell you when to come out - a person does it when they feel safe to do so and they're ready to - but by the sound of it, honey, that time has come! You know that your friends will be fine with it, and you are definitely ready to. In fact, you are so ready, NOT doing it is starting to hurt! :) 

    It's just like Corvus said. Three little words, and that will be it - job done - and life will go on again, only nicer because you're not holding in a big secret any more.

    And remember: once everybody knows, the more chance there will be of you finding that special someone who also likes girls... :) 
     
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    #3 Thespis, Nov 19, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2019
  4. Azura

    Azura yuri trash
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    Awwww :)  thank you so much for the kind response and sweet words! Putting it like that really makes it easier and you are right, I'm probably the only one worrying too much about something so small. When this kind of conversation pops up again in the future, I will remember your words and do my best to just say it!

    Hope you have a good day!
     
  5. Azura

    Azura yuri trash
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    Hello!

    Thank you for the kind comment and words of advice! You are right, not doing so is starting to hurt and make me feel uncomfortable, so it'll be better for me to just come out and say it. I guess a small part of me just fear rejection (even though the chances are really slim)... and I'm just overthinking things again. It can be really tiring to be misunderstood all the time so I'll just have to be brave and say it when the time comes! I will try my best the next time these sort of conversation pops up again in the future.:D 

    Hope you have a great day!
     
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  6. mike300

    mike300 Active Veteran
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    noone forces u to come out...but if u want to do it, do it and dont be afraid
     

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