1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Should i come out to my best friend?

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Erasmus, May 16, 2018.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 7 users.
  1. Erasmus

    Erasmus Lurker

    Joined:
    May 16, 2018
    Messages:
    3
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Hello everyone and i hope you’re having a wonderful day !
    First of all I’d like to apologize for my English if i make myself not so clear but i hope I don’t.

    So I’m still in the closet for everyone in my life except the ones who i sleep with which are always only for one night stand, i live in middle east so you must have heard about how hard it is to be gay here, it might threaten my life if others know about my sexuality whether it is for religious reasons or some stupid beliefs of manhood and stuff.

    Anyways, I’ve had a crush on someone for a while and we started as friends then our relationship developed to be something over best friends without him knowing that I’m even gay ! Surely, with time that crush has become even greater, Love.
    Yes, i fell in love with my best friend who I couldn’t tell about my sexuality as I would never know how he would react, for him we are like brothers and I don’t wanna lose that precious relationship but at the same time this love would never be responded to the same way, he is straight and has a GF yet I couldn’t let go of these feelings for him, i know I can’t have him as a lover but at the same time i need someone to trust with who i am as it is a very heavy burden to carry alone and have no one to talk about to, that’s why I’ve been thinking to come out to him and tell him everything even though I don’t know if we will remain friends after doing so, for some of you my issue might be childish but in the place I’m at I can’t expect the reaction, i know him enough to know that he would never hurt me in anyway but I’m not sure if he would accept what i am and support me or if he is going to end our relationship for good.
    What should i do ?
     
  2. homoismyhobby
    Amused

    homoismyhobby Great Learner
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    67
    Ratings:
    +53 / 0 / -0
    Sorry for replying so late!
    If you believe your life would be in danger if you told anybody - don't come out. But then again, if you feel you can trust him enough to tell him then do tell him - but perhaps don't mention that your interested in him romantically as he is in a relationship?
    This is just my opinion but I hope everything works out for you!
     
  3. Spob
    Apelike

    Spob Expert Homosexual
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Location:
    UK
    Ratings:
    +63 / 1 / -0
    Don’t tell him, he is straight and in a relationship. Keep his friendship. Maybe one day he can be happy for you and someone else.

    If you aren’t in a supportive place, just focus on yourself and stay safe.
     
  4. Latebloomer

    Latebloomer Greenhorn

    Joined:
    May 22, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    I don't know my friend I would wait for the rite situation I wish I had taken more chances growing up but I see the threat of ur ppl correct me if iam wrong but alot of middle east will kill u for how u feel or what u do with another man
    --- Double Post Merged, May 22, 2018 ---
    No one saw me being bi or even gay when I was growing up some of us half to hide to survive at points
     
    #4 Latebloomer, May 22, 2018
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  5. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    909
    Location:
    Osaka
    Ratings:
    +577 / 0 / -2
    I suggest you to focus on finding a trustworthy real boyfriend and gay friends to talk to, and forget about coming out, even though it's stressful to hide your sexuality to your best friend. I don't want you to take any chance that might instigate any violence on you when you are surrounded by religious fanatics.
     
  6. Sarah Miller

    Sarah Miller Lurker

    Joined:
    May 31, 2018
    Messages:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Hi, I hope you have a great day too! So I think that for now you may should come out to him, but only if he is open to lgbtq+. If he is not you can start lightly talking with him about sexualities. After that probably he will become more and more interested and maybe he will understand that he is queer ( it happened to me. My bff that is a bisexual girl started talking about this just because she was into it like every new queer and by the time I understood I am pansexual). So I can not promise you that he is a bisexual, pansexual.... but I think he will at least respect and support lgbtq+s (expesially if you are his bff). If he will start loving you he might tell you or at least you will understand it, believe me.
    So this is my advise, I hope I helped you. Have a wonderful day and remember always to see the world in your way, in a good way, positively!
    Изпратено от моят SM-J710F с помощта на Tapatalk
     
  7. Andi119
    Confused

    Andi119 Trans Dude
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2018
    Messages:
    26
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    If you're thinking about coming out to your friend, I wouldn't tell him that you like him right away. Just mention that you're gay. But it's your choice! :D 
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page