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sexuality & style

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Petra_, Jan 12, 2021.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Petra_
    Lonely

    Petra_ Greenhorn

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    I've come out quite recently and have zero experience with girls so far. Recently, I was told by a girl online that I "look straight" on my photos and I was thinking that maybe my style makes it more difficult for me to connect with girls I could actually have a relationship (or at least something more casual) with. I know there are these butch and femme archetypes in which I would be definitely considered femme but is there a way to signal that I am into girls? What does it mean to "look straight"? And what can I do about it? Or was it just a stupid comment and I shouldn't pay attention to it?
     
  2. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    Hey<3 So in my opinion, it was a stupid comment to be ignored lol. You can't tell someone is straight by just looking at them unless they have a shirt with a big sign saying "I'm straight!!" which I doubt they do lol. Its pretty rare for you to be able to tell what ANYONE is based on looks alone and many, many people are closeted about their sexuality which makes it even harder to tell. Just because someone dresses more feminine or tomboyish, it doesn't mean they are lesbian, but it also doesn't mean they are straight either. That could just be the style they like. That isn't to say that sometimes people make those assumptions, but its due to stereotypes. I dress VERY feminine, so yeah there may have been times people thought I was straight, but they would have been very wrong lol. You can for the most part find out what someone is if they outright say what they are or you ask them and they tell you. Its not something you can base on clothing or appearance because we are all SO different.
     
  3. Petra_
    Lonely

    Petra_ Greenhorn

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    Thank you for your kind words! This is what I thought, tbh. And wanted to make sure I wasn't just crazy or arrogant or whatever. :) 
     
  4. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    Well you def. aren't crazy, arrogant or whatever=) You are welcome to message me anytime too if you ever need anything at all/would like a friend.
     
  5. lavender_dreaming

    lavender_dreaming When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade!
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    Hi Petra, ^^ first of all I’m happy to see here someone from my country. And second, I absolutely agree with starlightprincess. I’ve been always told I look straight, that’s just story of my life and I hate that it complicates meeting right girls.

    I used to have same thoughts like you...should I change to look more like lesbian? But what would that be? Looking at stereotypes I assumed that short hair, flannel tartan shirt and rainbow badge would do...but I didn’t plan to change my feminine style and getting a shortcut was unimaginable for me...I gave up on this nonsense and I’m glad I did. We’re just who we are and we shouldn’t change to “fit” some standard especially when there in reality isn’t any...

    Also I can’t say I have much experience but if you’d like to ask about any of the stuff that’s new to you, or just casually chat, you can message me :)  (either English or our mother language)^^
     
  6. elma

    elma Greenhorn

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    That was just a stupid comment,most probably by a girl who still does not know much about the lesbian community.If she did,she would know we have many feminine women,and all kinds of styles :) 
     
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    #6 elma, Jan 14, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2021
  7. Butterfly88
    Playful

    Butterfly88 Has fallen 87 times and stood up 88
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    I would say just be yourself. Dress however you feel comfortable. Just because you dress a certain way doesn't mean you are any more or less of a lesbian. You could try wearing a gay pride pin if you want to hint at other people you are a lesbian. I have been told I look straight as well so you are not alone in that.
     

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