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Nonbinary Scared for my 4yo (long rant)

Discussion in 'For Parents or Guardians of LGBT+ Children' started by Corvus, Oct 20, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Corvus
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    Corvus I'm just me ^_^
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    Update: (spoiler warning, more homophobia and discrimination)

    So today I take Logan to school and a boy comes to me and starts screaming "You're going to have to buy him different shoes...he's not allowed to have pink ones and nail polish because he's a boy". So after I bite my tongue to avoid telling him to sit his ass down and turn off the sass I calmly explained to him that my son can wear whatever colour he wants whenever he wants and that clothes and nail polish don't make him any more or any less of anything. Cue his mother charging at me and getting all up in my face (well, all up in my chest, but she was giving me the stare) and telling me I was not allowed to put sinful thoughts in her son's head, so, after a deep breath, I informed her that I wouldn't even have to address her son if both of them learned to mind their own business. She stormed off.

    Lovely beginning of the day. From there I went shopping and it being early morning on a work day the supermarket was deserted. Since I only needed a handful of stuff I didn't bother get a shopping cart. I grabbed my stuff, put it in my backpack, took them to self check-out and was scanning the groceries when a guy in a guy in a suit came to me and said "excuse me sir, but I will have to ask you not to place our product in your backpack before you pay for them". Now, I've been a daily costumer in this particular supermarket for 8 years and had never heard of it so I asked if it was a new rule...he said it was merely "to speed things along" and that having to take everything off my bag, scan it and put it back in slowed the process down. Now, considering it was a self check-out and that there were 3 costumers total in the supermarket at the time this felt ridiculous but I apologised and told him I'd keep it in mind for next time.
    A guy scanning his items next to me said "oh sorry, I've done the same thing...I won't put stuff in my backpack next time" and Mr Suit replies with "oh no sir, *you* are fine; I was just referring to this gentleman here"

    Well, fuck you very much...
    Definitely not my day.
     
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  2. Corvus
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    Corvus I'm just me ^_^
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    They do. if you can prove it :) 
     
  3. JingleBells

    JingleBells jιngle
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    I'm so sorry Corvus, *hugs*
    Wherever you go, whatever you do to protect your son, You cannot always control what happens around him. What you can do is to help him learn to effectively deal with things in such a way Whatever happens, He will be fine with the situation(Physical/emotional). You can encourage him to learn things like self defense(just in case, its a nice skill to have its also good for body and mind to learn martial arts and things like that) And these things he face in his life he can use it as an opportunity to grow. It doesn't have to make him weak and sad. I've gone through terrible things in my childhood. It just made me strong.
    You are a wonderful parent Corvus and Your child is amazing, I'm pretty sure he will grow up to be a wonderful being :) 
     
  4. Corvus
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    Corvus I'm just me ^_^
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    I appreciate the encouragement (and the compliments, of course :p ). No matter what, it still sucks to see your kid hurting, even if you think you're making the right choices.
     
  5. StarSplosion
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    StarSplosion Magical Girl In Training (๑òᆺó๑)
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    I have a little brother who often seems to want to experiment.
    He likes cute, girly stuff and sometimes wants to do something ... extra.
    Like one day he wanted to paint his nails ... then he went to school and promptly asked my mom to remove it again. I'm fairly certain you already know why.
    We as adults might have it hard but in a way, a child has it harder.
    Especially for us adults who can defend themselves, kids getting bullied, etc can hurt them for life. It's truly sad.

    I've talked about it with my mom a number of times but she just lets him be.
    She doesn't mind but she doesn't talk to him about it either which I think would be better but I'm not a parent, I got no clue :/
     
  6. Joshua Aaron
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    Joshua Aaron Autistic and Pansexual
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    Try saving up to move to a different country (maybe not the United States, though - trust me, I am an American and things are terrible here). Try suing the hell out of the school for the obvious inaction. When I was in public brick and mortar middle school and got bullied for my Autism, and I reported it, the teachers just basically told me I am a liar.

    A lot of schools in a lot of players are against bullying, unless it's against mentally disabled or LGBT people.

    I hope things were at least a bit better when you had to have your kid do online school during quarantine.
     
  7. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Still breathing
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    Forgot about this thread. We miss you Corvus :misc-waving: 
     
  8. john1010101
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    john1010101 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Where to start? Maybe we should look at some of the terms used in the queer community to describe appearances. ‘Butch’, ‘Femme’, ‘Diesel Dyke’,
    ‘Piss-elegant queen’ etc. Why not a neutral ‘fashion victim’?
    This idea that a particular kind of dress/appearance should be the exclusive property of MALES or FEMALES but never BOTH (Sorry for the capitals but I felt like screaming) has no logic behind it, it's a culturally induced delusion.
    Used in many societies to restrict, control and sometimes hide females while equipping men for the world of work is still with us . Clothing, jewellery and makeup is way more than fashion, it can be an effective means of controlling both genders (Let’s leave out ‘other genders’ for now).
    History provides us with so many examples of this it’s hard to know where to start. Hollywood when women first appeared in pants somewhere in the 1930’s and the resultant negativity and hysteria?
    Males of the hippy species taking to makeup in the 1960/70s?
    Despite the assault on sartorial puritanism by haute couture and popular music industries for the next fives decades, a vast majority of male homo sapiens on this silly planet would never attend a job/business interview in anything but a male 'business suit'.
    Some very small ‘allowances' have been permitted in Silicon Valley but anyone trying to push the boundaries (at other than ’The Burning Man festival) isn’t going to get very far.
    It’s all very depressing but most depressing of all is the brainwashing given the very young across far too many cultures.



    Watching this you may not be able to pick which ones are trans but a high percentage are.
    Marco useses trans models in all his shows.





    https://www.pinterest.com.au/efrainayala/elizabethan-mens-fashions/

     
    #29 john1010101, Sep 30, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2020
  9. Joshua Aaron
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    Joshua Aaron Autistic and Pansexual
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    Thanks, john1010101 for the info. You explained how much of a social construct gender (and, by an extension, gender roles), are, and better than I could have done, as well. I screenshotted so I could use your words to explain this to others.
     
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    #30 Joshua Aaron, Oct 1, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2020
  10. john1010101
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    Getting back to the original topic I wonder if Corvus could show the videos above to that wonderful four year old and see what they think ?
     
  11. Corvus
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    Corvus I'm just me ^_^
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    Thank you to all the beautiful people who have posted since the last time I've been to these forums. It's been way too long and I promise I will update you soon (it's 3:30am so probably not the best time to take a forum dive)

    And I miss you too, lovely. I miss all of you!
     

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