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Relationshops and intimacy

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Sammy1992, Dec 8, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Sammy1992

    Sammy1992 Lurker

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    Hey everybody!!
    I only recently came out to myself as trans after years of feeling like something was off and never really understanding myself. I am having my first appointment with a gender therapist next month and I am still trying to come to terms with a lot of things.
    I was just wondering about one thing that has been bothering me ever since puberty and maybe someone had similar experiences.
    I've always had trouble being intimate with people after puberty and felt super uncomfortable in my body (which I now finally found out why) and everytime I dated someone and got too close I broke it off because it made me so uncomfortable to imagine being intimate with them and them looking at my body in a sexual way. I have huge chest dysphoria almost all the time and nobody but my doctors has ever seen me naked since I was 12. I thought of myself as asexual for the past 5 years and I have a girlfriend who is also asexual, but even with her, when we get close and make out I still sometimes feel as if I am watching myself from the outside and get uncomfortable in my body.
    I don't know how to fully put it in words but... has anyone ever felt something like that?
     
  2. MatthewA

    MatthewA Lurker

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    I have definitely felt that, I also identified as ace for a while. It's still a problem for me as I am still not where I want to be body wise but the more I pass and have the other person understand the easier it gets.

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  3. Corvus
    Chatty

    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Hi Sammy and welcome to the family! Good to hear you're seeking professional help...things can often be scary and confusing but you're taking the steps to untangle your mind and that's the most important thing.
     
  4. Searchlight

    Searchlight Greenhorn
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    Oh, I had terrible problems with sexual relationships and dysphoria. Through the first 9.5 years of my marriage my wife wondered why I was so weird about sex. It all made sense when I finally came out to her, but she first had to wonder for years what the heck my deal was.

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  5. Krissy

    Krissy Lurker

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    I too came out to my wife and she understood why i was not into sex with her
    We come to the conclusion that we need to sleep in diffrent bedrooms
    I think that she was against me from day one . Now I have been out to everyone and I am so much happier and I would never change what I am and in a few short months I go get my vaginaplasti which I have been waiting for my whole life
     
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  6. Doc
    Alone

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    I know I had a repulsion to receiving oral before I tried it and after it was just kind of boring. I don't understand how people with female parts like it (or maybe it's just a myth, lol). I've had a lot of problems enjoying sex...maybe it was my partner. There has only been one person that I was with more than once, but a lot of people (online anyway) always ask if I'm asexual. No, I have a fairly high drive that I have to suppress the hell out of because I have no idea how to use the parts I have to enjoy intimacy or how to even find a partner that wouldn't shame me for having body hair (as I would be assumed to be a woman) or they would enjoy it and I wouldn't know what to do to also enjoy it.
     
  7. Atalanta

    Atalanta Greenhorn

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    I know that feeling too. I hate my body how it is (not transitioned, not even a bit) and it gives me some problems with mu girlfriend, i cannot show myself naked ir even half naked without feeling feel garbage. I really want her, but my body knows that i hate it and omg it ruins everything on the time of sex and then i hate myself and my body even more
     

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