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Lesbian Relationship problem

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Ave♡, Jun 28, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Ave♡

    Ave♡ Greenhorn
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    Hey!
    So I got this little problem, I'm a closeted lesbian and I'm in a relationship with a girl that I really, really like. My family won't accept me as a lesbian, nor my religion. I can't live without my family and I can't get into trouble with them. I love her a lot, but I'm condemned to fake being straight, for my whole life..I know I can't hide my relationship with her forever, I'm afraid that my family would know (they did know once but i could manage through it and make them believe that I'm straight) if they do,..all what I built would fall down into ashes,...but I can't leave her...she means everything for me.
    Please help me, what should I do? Should I tell her that we must break up? Or leave her without saying a word? Or should I just keep being with her until we discover what does the future hide? I don't know what to do, and I can't easily let her go...
    Thank you for reading this, I really appreciate your help.
     
  2. Missy Chrissie

    Missy Chrissie Well-Known Contributor
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    How old are you ?
     
  3. Jo A
    Innocent

    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I also would like to know how old you are as the response I want to give is based on you not living at home as you are an adult.

    Sorry - Jo
     
  4. Kahlan

    Kahlan Active Veteran
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    Sometimes what we build should fall down into ashes. We often build the wrong things in life. It takes courage, resolve, and a great deal of integrity to make significant course corrections in life.

    You won't always be a closeted lesbian. Eventually you will get to the age where what I said above, will matter more than what anyone else thinks or believes about you. Being true to yourself will become paramount. However...

    ...As already mentioned by others, your age matters here..a lot. Advice given to someone who is an adult or nearly an adult, is different than if you were in your early to middle teens and dependent upon your parents for your daily needs. If you are a young person, practical needs like a roof over your head, food to eat, car to drive, clothes, money, your personal safety, etc...should take precedence. At least from my perspective.
     
  5. Ave♡

    Ave♡ Greenhorn
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    I'm still a teenager, fifteen, becoming 16 soon
     
  6. Ave♡

    Ave♡ Greenhorn
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    I get your point, thank you a lot for the advice.
     
  7. Jo A
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    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I wish you were older as you options would be different.

    The one thing that will not change is to tell you to never give up on who are.

    Hold in your heart that you are a wonderful person.

    Being afraid of you parents will make things hard and I am sorry.

    Please make sure though that you start planning for the future.

    If you can talk with you school social worker or counselor, that can help.

    Please be careful.

    Please never give up being you.

    And please keep us updated and I hope others chime in soon - Jo
     
  8. Missy Chrissie

    Missy Chrissie Well-Known Contributor
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    I wouldn’t ditch the relationship but I would keep things cool. There is no reason you can’t be really good friends and if you get intimate there are many ways around that. I was a teenager too!
    As to coming out? You may have to wait a bit until you are self sufficient. You need to remember that someone is keeping a roof over your head and you owe them respect for that.
    When you are on your own you can “make a decision” openly. Actually my nephew is gay, I suspected that well in advance. It wasn’t until before his brothers wedding that he announced via Facebook that he and N... were partners.
    You are smart to ask questions, especially here!
     
  9. Ave♡

    Ave♡ Greenhorn
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    Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it.
    I love my parents a lot, and they're fighting a lot for me, my gf is also a reason that keeps me seeing light through all the darkness, especially when my health worsens. I made the decision of keeping things the way they are, with more caution.
    I don't know for how long I'll keep breathing, but I'll try my best to make these days the best.
    Again, I really appreciate your help, thank you a lot.
     
  10. Jo A
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    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    You seem to be a very brave person.

    You comment about last breath touched me as I understand.

    If you wish to talk, please start a conversation with me.

    Find peace in your life - Jo
     
  11. Ave♡

    Ave♡ Greenhorn
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    Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words and help.
     

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