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Bisexual Regrets and Guilty Thoughts

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by MyHiddenSide, Jul 13, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. MyHiddenSide
    Worried

    MyHiddenSide Bi Guy
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    Been thinking lately about the guys I've been attracted to over the years, and missing them. I love my girlfriend dearly, but sometimes I regret not trying things out, not telling these boys how I felt about them, even though I was with her at the time.

    Sometimes in bed at night, I fantasise about cheating on her with them, and sometimes think to myself that if I had the chance to sleep with a guy behind her back just once, I would.

    I'm frightened to speak to her because she's having self esteem issues right now, and while she's supportive of my sexuality, she's said she thinks part of why I'm attracted to men and watch gay porn is because I don't find her attractive anymore, which isn't true at all. I do have a general preference for women and she is my soul mate.

    I love her so much, why am I getting such nasty thoughts and desires? I want to be open and talk to her and explain more about my sexuality, but it just seems to make her insecure.
     
  2. Tonystime

    Tonystime Hot Cookie
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    Hi there. I had the same issue. You have to reassure too her that you think she is beautiful and that you desire her. But you are also attracted to men and sometimes have a desire to fulfill that part of you. Your desires to be with a guy is in no way against her or what you two have. That you love her, and this desire does nothing to detract that.

    Sent from my SM-G892U using Tapatalk
     
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  3. tdil35
    Joyful

    tdil35 Hot Cookie
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    I have the same fantasies around women. It's been really difficult, and I haven't talked to my husband about any of it...

    All I can say is that you haven't actually cheated, so there is nothing to be guilty about, your desires and fantasies aren't nasty - they are just fantasy. But if you feel that you want to act on these desires, and stay in your marriage, you need to keep talking to each other. If her self esteem is tied up in this, then maybe seeing a relationship counselor would help her articulate her feelings to you in a safe environment.

    I know that as I have come to accept myself more, and that these fantasies are just part of who I am, I have felt less the need to cheat to fulfil them. Also I know if i had a wife I would probably be fantasizing about men all the time haha.
     
  4. Jessica45
    Benevolent

    Jessica45 Bisexual mtf. Slightly insane
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    Yes I have the same fantasies about guys
     
  5. Johnnybisexual

    Johnnybisexual Lover of Penis and Vagina
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    MyHiddenside, I too fantasize about men, even though I love my wife dearly. Sometimes I act on those desires and do feel guilty to some degree, but I love it so much. The other day I blew three different men in an adult store with video booths. As I sucked down the sperm of the black guy, I was so excited to fulfill a fantasy. I was thinking at the time that she wouldn't understand, but I loved it. I won't share this with her, but in the past she has encouraged me to explore. If you are concerned about hurting her self esteem, there is no reason to tell her about individual experiences. I openly speak about being Bisexual, but I don't discuss my encounters.
     

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