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Reconsidering T

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Molko, Oct 11, 2018 at 4:38 AM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Molko
    Caffeine Fix

    Molko You can't kill me. I'm not alive.
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    Hey guys, so I’ve always been very focused on sorting out my top surgery as priority and finally that date is set (yay!). Since I began binding 9 years ago, I've always kind of been ok with the idea that i'm a feminineish guy. I was never feminine growing up but it's like in accepting the trans part of myself i could accept that side of myself in that I dont identify as masculine. So i've always sort of danced on the binary edge. I'm very open about being me, i don't mind for passing etc

    T never appealed to me before because I saw it as that I didn't want the physical and emotional changes which come with it. I've had a battle with my weight which is finally settled now so maybe thats added to a bit of this realisation now the pounds have been shed. Plus i'm almost 30 now, so maybe i feel like i want to physically look more my age. Though i'm 5'2 so have to accept that. But yeah, all the little things im noticing. Like i actually care about not looking masculine enough for the first time.

    I'm very aware of my body shape now and I understand that T affects the way fat is distributed on your body. And my voice has been annoying me recently. I dropped off the GIC clinic a few years ago, seeking private treatment for my top surgery but now i'm guessing ill have to go to them if i want hormones. Which must be a long process.

    Can anyone let me know more about how T effects you? And can anyone relate to this kind of non-cognitive transition of not following the usual process but making these decisions as and when they arise? Yeah just any thoughts would be ace.

    edit: I also have noticed that my styles changing. I usually will dress very punk rockish, skinny jeans, blue hair, peircings, guyliner etc but now i'd like get a more standard masculine cut, take peircings out, plus ditched the makeup. Actually just bought some regular fit jeans and a jumper. I suppose maybe i'm dropping a defence? I just don't want to stand out so much, just fit in comfortably as a guy.
     
    #1 Molko, Oct 11, 2018 at 4:38 AM
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018 at 4:50 AM
  2. Just Some Guy

    Just Some Guy Lurker

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    http://www.ftmguide.org
    I'm not on T yet, but this is a pretty nifty guide and it has some resources on T. Another source to check out is Jammidoger on YouTube, he's made a lot of content on T, it's affects on him, and has a lot of comparison photos of his development over the years to show it's effects over time. If you just type in "testosterone jammi" pretty much all of his videos on the topic pop up, but if you type "testosterone ftm" into the search engine there's other videos on it.
     

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