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Recent interest in older guys

Discussion in 'Gay' started by Derek Samuel, Sep 4, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Derek Samuel

    Derek Samuel Derek0017s

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    My name is Derek, Am a closet gay, I noticed I've developed interest into older males with an age range of 40 years plus... I find it hard to accept because it makes me feel stupid... Dunno of its a right thing at all. Please I need help!!
     
  2. Sir A.G
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    Sir A.G Trans & Pan
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    I personally don't see anything wrong with it.
     
  3. Ivory
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    Ivory Dark Chocolate is a Vegetable
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    To be honest, age difference doesn't really matter once you are past 25. And your personality and sexual interest can change at any point, based on what I have heard - it is not unusual.
     
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  4. Derek Samuel

    Derek Samuel Derek0017s

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    Ivory Past 25? Honestly I've been in two relationships with older (40s and 50s) before I turned 16, why I took a break was because I lost the last boyfriend mine to a car accident and am Still recovering from that trauma. Now I have someone I've fall for but the distance is a barrier
     
    #4 Derek Samuel, Sep 4, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018
  5. mask1985
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    mask1985 Shy bi guy
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    As a 40+ guy who likes and has been involved with 18-30 year old guys I'm bound to have a slightly biased view on this but if we leave that aside and look at the wider perspective of attraction then age/sex/colour/size/distance etc. are completely irrelevant. It is only "society", and by that I largely mean the straight community who seem to think they have the right to determine what is acceptable to them.

    My younger boyfriends have given me lots of different reasons why they like me, not just sexual attraction but also things like the fact that older guys generally know what they want from life and are closer to achieving it. They like a feeling of safety and security, they like being taken seriously by someone older rather than being ignored or thought of as being immature. I on the other hand like youth not only because of the looks but also because they have more of a sense of fun and an enthusiasm for life. I relate much more to younger people than those of my age and I still enjoy doing all the things I did 20+ years ago.

    For me an age gap romance adds an extra dimension and both parties can learn from each other so there is no reason at all to feel odd about it, just go with your feelings and live your life for you, not for those who are in no position to judge you.
     
  6. Sir A.G
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    Sir A.G Trans & Pan
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    This is why I'm into older guys.
     
  7. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    This I totally agree with. It's your life and life is short, so live it for yourself, as you desire. Age gap relationships are great.
     
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  8. Derek Samuel

    Derek Samuel Derek0017s

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    Honestly thanks a lot for this answer and to all of you who also gave their opinion. This is exactly the answer I've been wanting to hear. As a Young individual I've always wanted to have something to do with the older because of the experiences they have already had in life before we the younger ones not always about sexual experience but life facts
     
    #8 Derek Samuel, Sep 4, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018
  9. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    Both older and younger have much to learn from each other.
     
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  10. Roger
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    Roger Curious Explorer
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    I agree totally. I have talked with younger boys who seem to have the wisdom that I need to hear sometimes. It's not that I'm stupid or anything (lol), but I think that younger guys are able to see things differently than an older person. Like they have a perspective that actually gets it out there or even makes it easier to see. Or maybe it's something that I've seen and it took someone younger to show me what I needed to see.
     
  11. Ivory
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    Ivory Dark Chocolate is a Vegetable
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    These are really interesting thoughts - I have never really considered age gap relationships like this!
     
  12. Derek Samuel

    Derek Samuel Derek0017s

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    Yeah me too because I could remember my first bf was 52 we moved on for 2 years before breaking up. The second was 45 and he was really the person I wished to spend all time with but it didn't go as I expected.
     
  13. Being.
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    Being. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I also am attracted to older guys.
    It's that sense of safety and sexual maturity you get from them. Beside Dylan (my ex) there has never been one person my age I have been genuinely attracted too or actually got along with. People my age don't have the same goals or the maturity I am looking for, of a old guy wants Sex or too fool around online they will just say, young guys jump around the fact and lead you on, they're all into booze and playing with drugs and that just doesn't interest me.

    Also a lot of older guys just know why the want and aren't afraid to get it.
    It's like this commanding yet calm sexual allure that just draws you in. What I want is to feel safe with someone but no one my age ever provides that feeling.

    But then being a Sub and a partial exhibitionist I also have other needs he needs to fufill, he needs to be strong and firm and a good Dom and master. But also have room to negotiate and discuss what we will and won't do. So far I haven't been able to find a Dom on person, but I have found a few online and it really gets me going knowing they get pleasure from seeing me and fantasising about me, that my body is theirs to use as they want.
    That's the level of control someone older typically has, I would never trust someone my age to be a good Dom or do things with me online.

    Anyway, overshare. Sorry. Hope that helped you feel less alone.
     
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  14. Morfar
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    Morfar The eye of the Wolf
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    Very interesting
     
  15. Ivory
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    Ivory Dark Chocolate is a Vegetable
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    That's a shame - at least you know what you want though!
     
  16. Ivory
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    Ivory Dark Chocolate is a Vegetable
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    It sounds like you are searching for maturity and experience, something which younger people typically lack, which is understandable really.
     
  17. mask1985
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    mask1985 Shy bi guy
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    Sometimes younger people also have an interest in things which might appeal to older people more, for example in their music tastes. My new young friend likes the music his mum likes, so 80/90s stuff which is also my era musically. A common interest spanning a generation is sometimes all that is needed to spark something more.
     
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  18. flyboy15
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    flyboy15 Invisible
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    Nothing wrong with it. When I was a young lad, I was alway attracted to older men. I saw them as the person I wanted to be one day. As I have gotten older, my attractions have gone the other way....maybe it's a longing for days gone by, it shifts depending on my mood I guess lol.
     
  19. Derek Samuel

    Derek Samuel Derek0017s

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    I like song my grandpa likes too
    --- Double Post Merged, Oct 7, 2018 ---
    You're right.
     
    #19 Derek Samuel, Oct 7, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2018
  20. Larry45
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    Larry45 Addictive Contributor
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    As an older man myself it makes me feel good that we may be good for something after all
     

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