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Questioning!

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by debbiepasti33, Feb 20, 2021 at 6:32 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. debbiepasti33

    debbiepasti33 Lurker

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    Hey!
    so i've been questioning my sexuality FOR MONTHS and i'm kinda freaking out tbh
    I'm a girl and I'm sure I like men (i'm currently in a relationship with a man and i love him) but I've always looked at women in the same way i look at men, idk i think women are so pretty, I'd have sex with them (or be in a relationship with them ig), although i've never been in love with a woman... I'M SO CONFUSED!!!
    and also, i'm stressing so much over this, i feel like it's so important to decide this asap because i'm dating and i'm scared that i can lose my bf (he's not homophobic but idkkkkk it's so scary) we've been together for a long time (2y), idk what to do
     
  2. Takusprite
    Relieved

    Takusprite Bi, genderfluid, and still figuring this out.
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    Hi, first of all, take a deep breath and be gentle with yourself. Realizing that you're not straight can be stressful but it's only one part of yourself. Since you are 16, you still have plenty of time to figure everything out, so there's really no rush. I know you're wanting someone to be able to say, "you're X," but it doesn't work like that. However, a label is just a word that you can choose to use for however long you feel it fits and can be discarded when you feel it no longer fits anymore.

    As far as your boyfriend and your relationship, that's also for you to decide. I'm bisexual and have never been in a same-sex relationship, but I knew that I found my person and that i wouldn't want anyone else of any gender to be my person. If you feel that way about your boyfriend, then it shouldn't matter too much in a practical sense. I told my person, and when she was totally cool with it, I knew she was the one (and now we're happily married). Whether or not you choose to share this with your boyfriend is up to you though. However, if you really aren't satisfied with not being able to try being with a woman (or someone of any gender), then you'll have to decide what you want for your life and your relationship. Take your time and don't decide right away, but don't avoid it either. Good luck and we're here if you have more questions.
     
  3. debbiepasti33

    debbiepasti33 Lurker

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    Thank you! :D  Tbh I'm very happy with my relationship atm and I'm not in love with a women rn as you know (and I've never been, I just feel like it's something just as possible as falling in love with a man ig ?? i'm so confusing i'm sorry lmao), I was just feeling like I needed to understand me asap and maybe "label" myself if I arrived to some certain conclusion :)  But you're right, I have time to think, and I can always change my decision afterwards! That "fast label" is not that important rn in my life and I think sometimes it's the social pressure that makes me think the opposite! Thank you so much <3
     
  4. Takusprite
    Relieved

    Takusprite Bi, genderfluid, and still figuring this out.
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    No problem, I'm happy to help! But if you really want a "fast label," you could choose either queer or bisexual (based on what you've said so far) for now and change it later if you want to.
     

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