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  1. Michelle Lee Helberg

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    Question for the community. I have a situation at work where a new person who is gay has started to work for the.company. a few of the employees have made comments about the person being gay and having a husband and a child. A comment made to me was that this man uses the womans bathroom instead of the mens.

    What I dont understand is why they are so against this man already? Secondly does thos man identify himself as a woman or a man?
     
  2. Carlita
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    Carlita Gay as a Bag of Skittles
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    Only from your post (only) it sounds like she is transgender and straight. A gay person is attracted to other men. Whether he is transgender or has a wife, husband, or child doesnt equate to ones sexual orientation and gender idenity. Ill assume she identifies as a woman for simplicity; but, she is the only one who would know.

    That said, ideally the best way to know is to ask her. Since its a work environment, that sounds inappropriate. So, the only thing I can think of is to speak for your coworker as an ally or say maybe that isnt nice to say to someone/anyone or so have you without referring to her specifically.

    People are against other people unlike themselves for various reasons. In this case, very stereotypical and ignorant of who people are and just basic miseducated of the issue in general. Im sure your work has a clause about descrimination against any person by race, class, gender, sexual orientation, and a few others. Not all jobs have it though. Some states its optional.

    Whether he considers herself a man, just from your post, no. But going into a womans restroom doesnt solidify how he or she identifies so the only thing to do is ask.

    But personally, I wouldnt. Just kinda defend people in general when your coworkers talk about her. If its disrupting the work place, you can go to the manager as well if you feel uncomfortable or you feel that its more serious than gossip.
     
  3. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Apparently your company doesn't have a problem with hiring LGBT people, and I suppose your fellow workers will adjust once they get over the novelty.

    How does s/he present: male, female, or ambiguous? If there's any doubt in your mind, it's totally polite and considerate to inquire about preferred pronouns: he/his, she/her, they/their. Many trans people are upset or annoyed when they're misgendered, and will appreciate your desire to get it right.
     
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  4. Theory Elias Nygma
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    Theory Elias Nygma For there is nothing either good or bad
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    Simplest and politest way to ask a person's gender?
    Ask what their pronouns are.
     

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