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Purposely ignoring you?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Whynot, Jun 2, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Whynot
    Cool

    Whynot Addictive Advisor
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    I have a weird situation with an older woman. We liked each other a lot for two years but we had too many insecurities.for me is her having a bf and she was divorced from a guy too, so I was having my guards up because I wasn't sure if she is really interested in women or just having fun. For her she was insecure about her age and that she is divorced, she always think that people would leave her.
    however, with time she started to get more intimate with me, when we are alone she would find any reason to hug me in an intimate way for a long time, my own ex gfs even did not hug me that way, but She hug me in a friendly way in front of others. I did not encourage her because she had a bf. So I kept things as friends only. She tried multiple times to ask me to spend time alone, but I did not really do it I was afraid from getting close without knowing what's really going on.
    So lately I did not talk to her for a while I got busy with life.
    Last month, I joined this group online and I did not know she is there. I posted something then she started to post every single day for a week and replying to every single post except mine. The things she is not really active on that group she post once a year if any. But after my post she was around for a whole week. Why is she ignoring me?
     
  2. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Dedicative Advisor
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    Dang...Okay um..Does she know you're on there? Like is it obvious its you? Its possible she doesn't know or maybe she's too shy/embarrassed to say anything because she doesn't know how you feel. I know you said in the past that you kind of discouraged her advances since she was married. She may think you still feel that way and is trying not to bother you? Have you reached out personally to her or no?
     
  3. Kahlan

    Kahlan Active Veteran
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    The head games often played by two people circling around each other in angst laden desire can be ...confusing at best, and downright heartbreaking at worst. You are both taking into consideration a list of factors ranging from life situations, outside influence, being busy, personal interactions, behaviors displayed, and past events. Mixed messages cause restraint, perceived cue's are up for interpretation, and god I know exactly how you feel. I've always been in favor of transparency that eliminates any doubt in these situations. But I am a hypocrite, because I don't often follow my own advice..in other words, easier said than done.
     
  4. Whynot
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    Whynot Addictive Advisor
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    Its clear that its me, I am using my real name and picture. I am thinking to reach out personally to her but I am not sure if I am ready yet. She is not married now and I am not sure if she is still with her bf.
     
    #4 Whynot, Jun 3, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2020
  5. Whynot
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    Whynot Addictive Advisor
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    LOL I know right, like I used to think when people ask questions like mine why the hell do not you speak the truth and be straight forward. Its very difficult. I think you are right many things outside of ourselves are affecting the whole situation, keep in mind we are from different cultures and backgrounds even religions. But we are both open minded about those things and never were an issue, maybe someone told her all those differences are an issue. I do not know. I feel like she is easily affected by others opinions she always try to have a certain image, she is well known professionally and successful, so she tries to keep up with those standards from her circle. and her coming from a different generation maybe its hard to admit that she has an interest in a woman even to herself.
     
    #5 Whynot, Jun 3, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2020
  6. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Dedicative Advisor
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    Okay so has she def. seen you on there/seen your posts? I don't know, it could be a whole range of reasons. Its not exactly that she's ignoring you because you haven't interacted on there. I would maybe see what happens if you send her a message?
     

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