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Bisexual Problems while having sex with my bf

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Laura2020, Jan 15, 2020 at 3:00 PM.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Greenhorn

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    Here it is, the main reason I came here.

    He is the first man I have been with, it's not like I was a virgin before him but in a way I was.

    Thing is it takes a while for me to be ready for vaginal sex, or it won't be able to go in, then after the sex starts he can't go in too deep ( it hurts ) nor he can go too fast ( it hurts ).

    And on top of that, sometimes it takes forever for him to finish and after a while I start to feel a lot of disconfort/pain in the area and eventually I have to ask him to stop because it is too painful, I think that him not being able to go as deep nor as fast as he would like is causing him not being able to finish and somehow I blame myself for that.

    Please don't even suggest that this has something to do with me liking girls too or that I don't really want him, I'm crazy
    in love with him and I happily perform other types of sex with and for him.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    A lot of these problems can be anxiety induced and might go away the more successful sexual encounters you both have. Even if he really wants to finish through intercourse you can still get him close enough to climax before intercourse starts that way he won't take as long to finish while inside of you.

    On your side of things try to think back and find things that made you uncomfortable that might be solvable before you try again.

    If the trouble ends up not being caused by anxiety it might be possible you have a medical condition, like vaginismus.
     
  3. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Greenhorn

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    A friend suggested vaginismus before, I did some research on it but it doesn't feel like it.
     
  4. BiBiLife
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    BiBiLife Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
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    I have a somewhat similar situation with my girlfriend. I really want to have vaginal sex with her (she's non-op trans), but penetration is very uncomfortable for me. But, I am slowly making progress, being able to self-penetrate with my fingers.

    Remember,, the vagina is a muscle, and muscles that aren't used to being stretched tend to react painfully. If you've never had anything as large as a penis inside you before, you may just need to practice with a dildo or similar object to be able to comfortably accommodate your boyfriend. Go slow and use lube.

    Best, BiBi
     
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  5. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Greenhorn

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    Thank you, this actually makes a lot of sense.
     

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