1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

Bisexual Problems while having sex with my bf

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Laura2020, Jan 15, 2020.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 4 users.
  1. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Ratings:
    +41 / 0 / -0
    Here it is, the main reason I came here.

    He is the first man I have been with, it's not like I was a virgin before him but in a way I was.

    Thing is it takes a while for me to be ready for vaginal sex, or it won't be able to go in, then after the sex starts he can't go in too deep ( it hurts ) nor he can go too fast ( it hurts ).

    And on top of that, sometimes it takes forever for him to finish and after a while I start to feel a lot of disconfort/pain in the area and eventually I have to ask him to stop because it is too painful, I think that him not being able to go as deep nor as fast as he would like is causing him not being able to finish and somehow I blame myself for that.

    Please don't even suggest that this has something to do with me liking girls too or that I don't really want him, I'm crazy
    in love with him and I happily perform other types of sex with and for him.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Corvus
    Chatty

    Corvus Agender chatterbox
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2019
    Messages:
    1,596
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Ratings:
    +2,096 / 0 / -0
    A lot of these problems can be anxiety induced and might go away the more successful sexual encounters you both have. Even if he really wants to finish through intercourse you can still get him close enough to climax before intercourse starts that way he won't take as long to finish while inside of you.

    On your side of things try to think back and find things that made you uncomfortable that might be solvable before you try again.

    If the trouble ends up not being caused by anxiety it might be possible you have a medical condition, like vaginismus.
     
  3. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Ratings:
    +41 / 0 / -0
    A friend suggested vaginismus before, I did some research on it but it doesn't feel like it.
     
  4. BiBiLife
    Badass

    BiBiLife Still breathing
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    2,246
    Location:
    Where the shadows run from themselves
    Ratings:
    +2,939 / 3 / -6
    I have a somewhat similar situation with my girlfriend. I really want to have vaginal sex with her (she's non-op trans), but penetration is very uncomfortable for me. But, I am slowly making progress, being able to self-penetrate with my fingers.

    Remember,, the vagina is a muscle, and muscles that aren't used to being stretched tend to react painfully. If you've never had anything as large as a penis inside you before, you may just need to practice with a dildo or similar object to be able to comfortably accommodate your boyfriend. Go slow and use lube.

    Best, BiBi
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  5. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Ratings:
    +41 / 0 / -0
    Thank you, this actually makes a lot of sense.
     
  6. Ali~Kat

    Ali~Kat Not all those who wander are lost.

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    Location:
    Georgia
    Ratings:
    +6 / 0 / -0
    Hello Laura,
    I kinda relate to this situation. I’ve been with my bf for almost 8 years and although I wasn’t a virgin when we met, he is pretty much my main sexual experience with men. First off, do not think that there’s something wrong with you bc there isn’t. There are women in the world that get this pain, even after they’ve been sexually active for years. One thing I did not know until after my first and I broke up was that I am allergic to latex. In fact, it was so painful that I had to tell him to stop for a few days so I could heal and I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t enjoy it. So if he is using latex condoms, let that be one of the first things you try is maybe polyurethane condoms. They are a little more expensive, but it’s the easiest way to tell (bc those tests are not cheap). Also, make sure the foreplay and during the sex he does not neglect the clit. Bc it will definitely keep you going (and keep you moist). You could be drying up a little (or it could be “too wet”. It IS possible to stop enjoying it if there’s too much wetness goin on. ‍♀️
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
    • List
  7. Laura2020

    Laura2020 Curious Explorer
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Ratings:
    +41 / 0 / -0

    You are a lifesaver! We tried without the condom and there was a world of difference!

    Now we gonna have to try those polyurethane condoms you mention.

    Thank you so much!
     
  8. Corvus
    Chatty

    Corvus Agender chatterbox
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2019
    Messages:
    1,596
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Ratings:
    +2,096 / 0 / -0
    Ali~Kat Great catch. Can't believe I forgot latex allergies; with how common they are. Well done!
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page