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Please only girls answer...

Discussion in 'Heterosexual' started by Sarah Miller, Jun 5, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Sarah Miller

    Sarah Miller Greenhorn

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    So I am a virgin and I have a crush on somebody from my school that may have a crush on me too as he told my friends. Since I like him I am trying to be hotter than usual. Anyway, so far now I hadn't thought about really having it. I started thinking aboit it a little. Then yesterday I really wanted to have it . I don't know what I should think about myself. I mean, I am way too young to have it. I wish I had someone to tell this to but I just can't say it. You know just to write it is way easier. Plese tell me something. I don't know what to think. Is it even normal.
    Tank you people for helping me and waisting your time with solving my problems
    Love you all!

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  2. AudryLeigh
    Feminine

    AudryLeigh tGirl and Karaoke junkie
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    Yes you are sweetheart. If you start at your age, it'll be old hat, and your body will be too well worn to really appreciate it at the time when it should really be all fresh and new. A crush is not the same as real love -- you want to really be in love before you give it away. Also,think about if you really want to be known as that kind of girl. You will, you know. Guys talk. No matter what they say, eventually they talk. Actually, they brag. Do you want to be the "prize" some guy brags about? Crushes don't last forever. Even if he really wouldn't brag about it while you were still crushing on each other (he probably would though, guys just do), at some point you'll be his ex -- then he'll talk for sure. You can barely trust boys when they grow up, you sure as hell can't trust them before then. He's going to try to talk you into it, and he'll have all kinds of lines to try to get you to agree, but guys really do think with their dicks -- really; until they're around 25, and some do for their whole life (sad, but true). I know it seems like too old a saying to have any meaning in today's world, but you really should save yourself for someone who really deserves you, and who is old enough to appreciate you (which is not to say you should date older guys -- that too is a bad idea at your age, honest).

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
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  3. chickyT
    Amused

    chickyT Greenhorn
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    Well my words wont be as wise as the last comment but i agree just the same.the thing with crushes is that its a temporary (i dont think obsession is the right word so)feeling for someone. And sometimes we may think we want to have it, but our bodies arent if you understand what im saying. I dont know whether that was helpful at all but thats just my opinion
     
  4. AliceR
    Depressed

    AliceR Real Bisexual Unicorn
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    I agree with both the comments above.

    Sex is extremely awkward the first time. It's messy. It often doesn't go as well and smoothly as the books and TV shows make it sound to be. It hurts a lot. It comes with many risks (one of which being pregnancy). And it can be very uncomfortable.

    You want to do it with someone you love profoundly, with a boy who respects you, a boy willing to understand he needs to stop if you choose to back off (no matter when you choose to back off during the act), and who understands he needs to slow down if it's too painful, a boy who loves you.

    I doubt the boy you have a crush on has the experience required to give you a good first time. He might brag that he is... but often those who brag are actually terrified and trying to hide their fear. I know from experience. You don't want a bragger to be your first time.

    Your mind might feel like it's kind of ready, but your body isn't. If you're having doubts, it means you are not ready yet, and that's just fine. You are so young. Give yourself time.

    You might feel peer pressure into losing your virginity. I know many virgins feel bad about being virgins. But trust me on this, boys LOVE virgins. You will never walk into a boy, no matter how old you are, who will shame you for being a virgin. Whoever the one happens to be, he will take it as an honor that you chose him and he will be delighted about it. Good boys understand how important it is to you. Bad boys only think about themselves and their self-gratification. Always remember that.
    And no need to rush.
    It is up to YOU and you only to decide. Never let anyone pressure you into having sex. You do not owe sex to anybody, ever. It is your decision only.

    Reserve yourself for the one you truly love, give yourself time, and it will be wonderful (in spite of all the awkwardness I mentioned above) because it will be with someone worthy of you.
     
    #4 AliceR, Jun 6, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2018
  5. Butterfly88
    Alone

    Butterfly88 Trying to Fly
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    I agree with the others, you are too young. If you were to do it now you may regret it later. You want your first time to be with someone special and when you feel more ready.
     
  6. Iwilldance

    Iwilldance I am not throwing away my shot
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    So everybody else answered your question "should i do it" and i agree with them. That said, dont be ashamed that you want it. This is the age where puberty hits. Your brain develops, and the hormones start to make you ready to have sex. That means that yes, it is "normal" to want sex (or it is not defined "unnormal"), like everything else it varies from person to persln when that start. So dont feel ashamed, you have no control over being sexually atracted. BUT you ARE to young to do it, your body is not ready, the boy will not be ready, save your first time for later and for when you yourself is sure.
     
  7. Chex Republic
    Alone

    Chex Republic TF, pre-op, hrt 6-9-18
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    Really, there's no such thing as too young (NOT CONDONING PEDOPHILIA OR SEXUAL PREDATION. That was not my intention). I lost my virginity fairly early on, it wasn't too special because it was a mostly random instead of someone who I had a crush on, but what can you do? I still enjoyed it, and it was all good. I personally think the whole "first time" thing is a bit overrated and makes no sense. It might just be me but it's like saying "But I wanna be careful my first time driving a car" it's like, yeah it's important, but it's not gonna be a particularly memorable or life changing moment (least it wasn't for me).

    Just make sure you don't waste it, virginity only comes once, hymens don't grow back.
     
    #7 Chex Republic, Jun 30, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
  8. TeamAlucard812
    Anime Lover

    TeamAlucard812 Curious Explorer
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    I agree with the last person that commented to some extent (except for the hymen thing. Those tear a lot and do heal, and won't even tear your first time if you go gently enough, but I'm not here to nitpick) Your first time won't necessarily be your best time, and expecting it to be this magical event may lead to disappointment and lowered self esteem. It can be good, but it depends on how you go about it.

    You also have to weight the pros and the cons. Whether you want to do something like that at your age is your decision, but it's a decision you have to think about. Weigh how much you like the person and want to be with them that way against risks like giving yourself to the wrong person, getting pregnant, STI's, etc. For example, I wanted to do stuff like that when I was young, too (wanting to do it is very normal, even at a young age) and at the time I think it was STIs that sort of made me say no. I barely understood them and didn't want to mess with them until I was older and understood them better. Now that I'm older, and legally an adult, I look back and was grateful I saved my virginity for when I was older. Every guy is different, but most guys at your age (and women too) admittedly know a lot less about sex than they think they do. This isn't bad, people just learn more over time. At a younger age, people tend to not understand enough about love to get the most intimacy and love out of sex they want. Sappy romance talk aside, the same thing goes for the understanding of what makes it feel good. So even if you're just in it for the feeling (which I'm sure you aren't but if you are you do you), often times you'll find the people around you are so inexperienced it just ends up not being worth it sometimes.

    To recap, I don't know how much you know about the world, so I'm in no place to judge where you are, but generally, it's a safe bet to save that for later. If you do it at a young age, you can end up facing consequences you either didn't know were out there, or didn't understand well enough. Some people get bye just fine, and good on them, it's just a good idea to think things through. Lust, especially during puberty where your hormones are just one never-ending roller coaster, is impulsive, and even if it seems like something you want now, you may not want to deal with the aftermath.

    But what do I know, this is just my opinion. Take it for what you think it's worth.

    also please don't mistake me saying "People your age don't know" for me saying "oh you're young, which means you're dumb" I'm not trying to say that

    PS. if you ever need a girl to talk to who listens and is non-judgemental, feel free to message me. My door is always open, and there is no question too awkward for me.
     
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  9. Sarah Miller

    Sarah Miller Greenhorn

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    Thanks (I thanks the others too but just had no time to answer and I didn't know what)! I had tough about it the same way a few times but I was like: " no I'm just searching for a way to excuse these feelings". Now at least I know that I'm not the only.

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  10. Sarah Miller

    Sarah Miller Greenhorn

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    Thank you

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