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Please help me someone, I don't know who I am

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Lily Amelie, Aug 12, 2017.  |  Print Topic

?

What is my orientation?

  1. Bisexual

    2 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. Lesbian

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

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  1. Lily Amelie
    Mind-Blowing

    Lily Amelie Lurker

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    I like a girl so much, but more her personality than appearance, I would say that she is perfect, but before I dated only with boys, she is beautiful, intelligent I don't know how to say that to her, I tried to say but she didn't understood
     
  2. Edwin: Ed or Winnie

    Beloved Member

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    Jul 20, 2017
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    Hello, welcome.
    You could be bi or pan, or just like this girl specifically. I'd say, if you like her, you like her. You can't make yourself not like her by saying you're straight/ have always had hetero relationships. Just be yourself and make her your friend first and see how that goes :) 
    Hope this helps!
    --- Double Post Merged, Aug 12, 2017 ---
    Whoops, didn't see the poll. You being a lesbian depends on if you wish to be with girls only and how you feel about your past relationships with guys.
     
    #2 Edwin: Ed or Winnie, Aug 12, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017
  3. WiKKiTsoul
    Yeehaw

    WiKKiTsoul Healing...
    Beloved Member

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    i don't know if i can take that poll, knowing only what i know. how do you feel about guys? i mean i understand you've only dated them so far, but that doesn't tell me if you liked it or if it was just what seemed to be the norm....but if you did like it you could be bi or pan like Edwin: Ed or Winnie suggested. also i think you should just see where you stand and how you feel about it all before slapping a label on. i say just do you and enjoy the ride until you're sure :) 
     
  4. Carlita
    Creative

    Carlita Lesbian and Lovin' It!
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2016
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    When you say "I don't know how to say that to her" is it more because of embarrassment, you may feel hurt or something inside you feel you don't want to upset her or something similar? Is it more politeness or general courtesy but not specifically because you have "feelings" for her beyond her intelligence and her first-impression looks?

    I've slept with two guys but never went all the way. If I compared men to women, I'd say the closest I'm attracted to men is their personality is pretty straightforward when they like someone. And depending on the person, if you're not straightforward with them, they will get hurt even if they try to hide it. So, I can say "we can do X but you know I'm not attracted to you like that." and they know even if they play like they forget.

    It's a boundary thing. Compare your feeling with a male and the woman you like. Do you have that feeling you want to really get to know here were as opposed to a male, you may want to know him as a friend but never really thought of relationships unless he or someone else brings it up?

    Is it internal for you when you think of this woman, external? When you're not thinking of either gender, how do you see yourself and your sexuality. How do you see your body or mind in relation to someone else-a family member, a friend, a stranger. For example, if we are in cultures that hugs and kisses on the cheek are a norm but then we find someone we like on a planatonic level and feel we want to kiss them on the cheek, it may not be sexual attraction but you have that same feeling of relationship with them (trust, comfortability, etc) that you have with your loved ones.

    There are a lot of factors. Based on solely what you said, I would not know. You'd have to talk a bit more about yourself in relationship to the other woman-or reflect to yourself about it.
     

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