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One Small Step closer....

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by CoffeeUnicorn34, Sep 11, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. CoffeeUnicorn34
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    CoffeeUnicorn34 Bakura◆Your Friendly Neighborhood Badass
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    Hello all,

    Yesterday, I did my first shopping in the men's section in my local Walmart. I bought some boxers, a long sleeved shirt with a beanie, and a new flannel shirt. I also bought a sports bra to help with binding. My binding job isn't perfect but it has helped so much.

    While my chest isn't completely flat, it's flat enough to make me feel better. Today is also my first time wearing boxers and it feels so natural. This may not be a big deal to many, but to somepony like me, this is huge. I actually feel a bit manly today. It is my first step and this journey is going to take time. I just felt it appropriate to document this occasion. If anypony has any other pretransition tips, I'd appreciate them. I can't afford a binder yet but am making do with what I have. I feel better. Nopony can take this away from me.

    Thank you to everypony who commented on my previous thread. It means alot. You guys are awesome.
    -Bakura

    PS: no I'm not out to family as ftm yet. I still have to deal with being misgendered and it stinks. Just yesterday, my dad said something about a "girl's" hat and I flinched. How did/do you guys deal with this while being in the closet? It doesn't bother me as much because I'm becoming more confident in who I am, even if I don't "pass" very well.
     
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  2. Joppa

    Joppa Dedicative Contributor
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    For me and being mis gendered, (i too am closeted mostly to just my family and not as close friends.) it's not flinch inducing but it's alittle awkward, like good job man, ect ect ect it's like
    I'm exited I did good, and then when the pronoun is used I get alittle awkward, it's an awkward feeling how I deal with it is, I know my outward appearance is male so it makes sense they would say male pronouns, a lot of them don't know me on a deep personal level so I rationalize, unless I want to correct everyone who calls me male, and be out of the closet early. Or understand their point of view and take my time. Just for some context on my end, 19 years old I have a job a girlfriend (she knows I'm trans and is supportive of it) and how my body is I'm very uncomfortable with wearing some of the clothing I would wear if my body was female, most of the clothing I wear I like the style I wear for myself there would be some differences but not much, im getting off topic. Ether way really for me it helps to understand their point of view if you are not comfortable with coming out yet, and just do you to make you happy
     
  3. Sir A.G
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    Sir A.G Transgender Guy
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    It's nice to hear that things are going well, it's the small things that help :) 
     
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  4. CoffeeUnicorn34
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    CoffeeUnicorn34 Bakura◆Your Friendly Neighborhood Badass
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    A Small Update: Tried my first binding, I will admit that I got a few weird looks from people. I also realize that I ain't gonna pass overnight. But any little things help like wearing boxers, having shorter hair, wearing more male oriented clothes. All of that helps me so much.

    The binding with bras hurt somewhat. Definitely going to look into a professional binder soon. But I'm not in a hurry for it. One thing at a time.

    Thank you to those that have commented so far. It means alot to me.
     
  5. Jayme82
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    Jayme82 Dedicative Advisor
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    I'm happy for you it's such a wonderful time when you discover your true self and begin the transition I won't lie there will be bumps along the way but when you finally make it to the other side it makes all the hard stuff you've been through worth it to live as your true self
    Good luck we're all rooting for you :) 
     
  6. SwordArts

    SwordArts Well-Known Contributor
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    Great news that you're starting to be yourself. Keep going forward. It all counts.

    For me, yesterday I bought my first pair of men's pyjamas.
     
  7. Being.
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    I don't want to seem like a total dickhead, but how is a pair of boxers inherently "Manly" I'm a guy and I can't stand the things so I'm just like scratching my head at this statement.

    Aside from that I'm happy your beginning to be who you truly are and feeling comfortable with yourself. :) 
     
  8. CoffeeUnicorn34
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    Look, I get it. I'm a green horn when it comes to navigating this. I'm just now learning. I'm not expecting to pass overnight (although in a perfect world that be nice).

    For me, something simple like a pair of boxers is a big deal as I've never really worn them before. I know to everypony this isn't a big deal and o get that and I know it's odd. But for somepony like me, every little thing that doesn't have to do with my assigned gender is a big deal.

    It is hard enough when you have to conflicting ideals in your head of girls do this, act this way and boys do this and act like this. I'm fighting two binaries to see where I fit in. Because at an early age, one gets brainwashed into what gender is and you find out it's completely different. So this is all very new to me. I'm having a hard time as it is. That's why I'm here, posting threads, looking for support because it isn't as available in my community at large. I don't know.people who know people. I'm just starting out.

    If you have any advice I'd be happy to hear it.
     
  9. Sir A.G
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    Sir A.G Transgender Guy
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    It's like that for most transgender people and it's pretty normal. It's taking a leap in life to living true to yourself. I felt a sigh of relief when I bought my first male clothing Being. I'd understand for others to not get why it's such a big deal but it can be for some trans folk.
     
  10. SwordArts

    SwordArts Well-Known Contributor
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    Actually, I can relate to the boxers. When I first got my hair cut, the first thing I wanted to buy was men's boxers. I know it's not about that and I could wear any type of underwear I wanted. It was more it was something I needed to do. Plus I hated women's underwear. weird, yes but it was important to me.
     
  11. Erin.b
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    I wish I could buy clothes at Walmart. But being a 6'3" Amazon chic has some limitations. Frick'n expensive too.
     
  12. Joppa

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    I'm mtf so I'm in the opposite ends of things, only thing keeping me from buying clothing and stuff is my body as it is I used to have long hair and in some ways preferred my hair long but I have to have it short where I'm going into the military (I live in Canada so me being trans shouldn't be as bad as in the states atm) and we'll make body, there's rules to follow untill the transition
     
  13. AudryLeigh
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    Hi Kura,

    I'm so happy to hear that you are becoming more confident. Confidence is KING (or, in my case Queen - lol). It is confidence that ultimately defines your world, that primarily dictates how people react to you, that gets you accepted, and removes all the things that hold you back. It's confidence that gives you the courage to "Boldly go where [the new] you has never gone before."

    About the boxer thing, for nearly a year, all I did to indulge the girl in me was to [secretly] wear panties. Whatever helps.

    Hugs and kisses,
    Audry Leigh
     
  14. SwordArts

    SwordArts Well-Known Contributor
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    I don't have any idea of types of haircut for the military but will you be allowed a feminine styled short hair cut? Or is that still a no until after the military?
     
  15. Erin.b
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    This conversation is so amazing to me.
    I served before and during Don't Ask / Don't Tell.

    So much has changed.
     
  16. Joppa

    Joppa Dedicative Contributor
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    For me untill any transitioning does male body male rules but after wards I would think I would follow female rules after the fact
     
  17. SwordArts

    SwordArts Well-Known Contributor
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    Shame but at least afterwards you can be yourself.
     

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