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Noob with questions

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by namesarehard, Jan 15, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. namesarehard

    namesarehard Greenhorn

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    Hi, just joined tonight. I have a lot of questions about gender. More questions than answers! Hope to find out something here.

    I'm Bi and there is definitely a feminine side to me and have known since my teens but just pushed it down most of the time. I don't want to keep pushing it down, but of course it is not so simple (when is it?) . I'm 57 and I'm married and have a kid. I need to figure out what is going on with me - how much is this going to change my life?

    I'm hope to chat with folks here and maybe get some clues.
     
  2. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Hi and welcome to the family. Question are always the first step into finding the true you. As a married person with a kid I understand the fear but being your best self is not only beneficial for you but for everyone around you.
    What can we help you with? :) 
     
  3. namesarehard

    namesarehard Greenhorn

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    Hi Corvus, thanks for the welcome!

    Sometimes, what feels like the woman that is inside of me kind of takes over me. I feel different and move differently. I can control if this happens, to some degree. But it is kind of like becoming another person. However, I know what's going on and remember everything, etc. Do other folks here experience this?
     
  4. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    Seems like a common feeling for genderfluid people. And when "the woman" is not out, do you feel like a man? Or not really? And if so, do you feel comfortable as a man?
     
  5. namesarehard

    namesarehard Greenhorn

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    That's good to know.

    I feel like a man and I think most people just see a cisman. I guess I would say I'm pretty comfortable as a man. But it seems like my gestures are becoming more feminine and I feel a little different that I have admitted to myself what is going on. So maybe I am getting more fluid!
     
  6. Carlita
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    Carlita Love is patient. Love is kind.
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    Hmm. It sounds more of a wave than a fix. For example, I see and feel like a woman (I guess to make a point?) so if I feel off or not like my "self" or when I feel blank I default back to a woman. It's dominate that I don't think about the other part. It's seems fake.

    But since it's my dominate. Think of what you're going through as being on a rollercoaster-the boat that goes back and forth. For me, even though I go up and down, I always down (gravity) even though I go up. Maybe you don't have that default and just need to find comfort you're going up and down instead?

    Some people go down but they know they're supposed to be "up" but the gravity of society is pulling them from being who they are. Maybe yours is more accepting that you're on a Rollercoaster and instead of being one way or another, enjoy the ride.

    Weird way to put it. Instead of finding shore, ride the waves.
     
  7. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    I'd say don't worry about naming it and just see where it leads you for a while. Might be easier to label it then, if you really want to :) 
    The most important thing to remember is that no matter "what" you are, it's fine and wonderful :) 
     
  8. namesarehard

    namesarehard Greenhorn

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    Not such a weird way to put it, I think. Yes riding the waves back and forth might be comfortable or fun, I just don't know yet. It is all new to me in a way. I've known and done stuff since I was a kid - like crossdressing - but now is the first time I've tried to let it out and be comfortable with it.
     
    #8 namesarehard, Jan 16, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020
  9. namesarehard

    namesarehard Greenhorn

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    Thank you Corvus. That's sometimes hard to do for me, but a good thing to think about.
     

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