Trigger Warning! No More Contact With Older Sister!

This is my first post, so hello and thanks for taking time to read my story. I am a bit nervous about posting this one but I need somewhere to vent my issues out there and maybe someone can relate or agree with where I am coming from. For starters I am 27, this story is about beginning and end with my older sister. Growing up I had a pretty normal, happy life until around the age of 8 and I got taken away from my mother for wrongful accusations. I know what some of y'all are thinking, that they fully investigate well here's the tea the system is bullshit. I don't want to go in full details of the accusations because I wasn't the one who it "involved" but I found out two years ago that my sister had lied to investigators about a lot of stuff. I already held a grudge on her for stuff that happened to me while in the system. I was placed in a home where I was constantly being abused, she must of been their favorite because she never got hit by them. While being beat she just stood there and watched. I was locked in a closet for 3 days with no food or water and I could hear her in the room but she never would speak to me or try to get help. They ended up doing a emergency replacement back with my mom 7 months later, I was constantly calling her from the phone in the principals office about this foster mom. After getting back home with my mom she was always telling her I made up being abused but you can't make up having gashes in your head, bruises ect. Growing up with her I can't remember a time that she was actually sincerely nice to anyone. She used to hold me under water when I was trying to learn to swim. She done several things as a kid that kids shouldn't think of doing. When I was in middle school I happened to walk by her in the hallway she grabbed me and pushed me up against a wall and scratched me in the face, to the point I had to have to school nurse call my mom she had taken a chunk out of my face. I had a gash going from my forehead straight down my eye and to my cheek. She would constantly yell at me and my little sister for no reason and say she was gonna "cut us". While I was going through the change I didn't develop boobs for a long time (like until sophomore year of high school) she would slap me as hard as she could, in the chest all the time and yell names like flat chest, you're a dude, ect. I was being bullied at school and she would slap my chest in front of people which ended up causing a bunch of kids to do it to me as I walked down the hall to get to class. I started gaining weight and she would always call me fat ass or say stuff like no one will ever want to date you cause your fat. That has still lasted for years. She has caused me a lot of issues with my self confidence and how I see myself. I had padlocks on my door in my teen years living at home because I was afraid of her getting in my room at night and hurting me. Even now as a adult I will lock my bedroom door at night and I live alone. In our adult years she would still hit me during family holidays, she would brag about how great she was doing which is funny because she's not even successful (she has no job) she's a slob and a mooch. I came out in 2014 she found out through my younger sister and gave me hell about being gay for years and would constantly say discriminating homophobic stuff at me. she didn't let me come out to my parents she done it. I was very hurt by her. I recently lost my dad of cancer, I took care of him and She never came around unless he gave her money. At his funeral She never got up and said anything about him which I found to be odd. My parents were amazing people and always there for us but she literally took advantage of them and treated them like shit. I only have my mom now and even then She never calls to check on her or any of us. She was at me all day everyday last week about how she was having a hard time with my dad's death and that she knew what I was going through but she don't, she wasn't around so yeah I hope she does feel guilty but I doubt it because she's "perfect" anyways my mom's birthday is coming up and she had to rub in my face what she got my mom and said she won her birthday (only way she got to get her a gift was money she mooches off her boyfriend) anyways everything is a competition to her, you should see how she acts on Christmas, I dread it every year. This week she gets on Facebook making a sob story on how much She missed my dad and that she's having a hard time and I snapped because that's bullshit, she didn't care about him before and her saying she knows how I feel is bs I had to watch my dad die slowly everyday he was battling this cancer and hold him down as he fought as he took his last breath, he was trying to pull IV's out is why I had to hold his arms down which is always in my mind yet She wants to say She knows how I feel. She has always tried to manipulate me and guilt trip me every single time I tried cutting her off. After the constant bullshit I dealt with from her I am done, I have blocked her from everything she could possibly contact me on. I felt like I've let her in my life far too long. Do you think I'm wrong for blocking her out of my life?

 

If by ‘block her of my life’ you mean never to have anything to do with her again that sounds like the only sensible move - if I understand what you’ve been telling us. Your story comes across as a little bit confused - not surprising considering what you appear to have been subjected to. If however by ‘block her out of my life’ you also mean forget about her and repress all memory of her I suspect you’d find it almost impossible . Professional help with a psychologist/psychiatrist (expensive) or women’s councillor would help you to cope with the horrifying memories you have.

“Dealing with narcissistic people?” I suspect you weren’t dealing with a narcissist so much as a violent psychopath but that’s not for me to determine.
Good luck and do start sniffing around for some form of counselling. I you can't afford a private practitioner hunt around LGBT groups or women’s groups as they often have free counselling available. Good luck.