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Bisexual - Female New-Questioning mostly because of the hate

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by KT4Real, Nov 8, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. KT4Real
    Musical

    KT4Real Butch-Woman Loving-Hiker

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2018
    Messages:
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    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    I'm KT I'm a butch (few percentages away from stone). And I'm married to a man. I married this man when I was still in denial about my orientation, and love him deeply. We've been married for more than a decade, and have children. I came out to him about a year and a half ago. I've been in love (hung up on) a woman I fell in love with over 6 years ago. I've expressed to her how I feel, and she has politely turned me down. I still have many thoughts of her, most days (I'm so much better than I used to be, but as a dear friend called it - she became an addiction). I understand fully nothing will ever happen between us. I'm looking for something or someone to tell me how to get her out of my head so I can move on completely. She was my "lightbulb." She wasn't the first woman I had a physical experience with, in fact it was never physical between us, but she was the first woman that I admitted to myself I had feelings for, real, deep feelings. Anyhow, now that I've told you my (Gay) life story lol! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being butch, I love being attracted to women, and while I can't call myself a lesbian, I would never sleep with another man besides my husband, for any reason. I get a lot of hate from most orientations. And I'm expecting some here, but this is who I am, and after spending most of my life wondering about different quirks, and why I felt different, I feel much better in my own skin. Thank you to whomever set up this website.
     
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  2. Mildew
    Fine

    Mildew Lurker

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2018
    Messages:
    4
    Ratings:
    +3 / 0 / -0
    nothing to hate about loving someone. good for you, you have someone to be close to. Does he know you are hung up on this girl? I've kinda been there. In the end I had to just let myself love her, but create some distance between us. I guess it's like you can love her, but not as some sort of supernatural, larger than life thing. Stop seeing it as something so big and scary and magical. Over time it stops having that hold on you. Maybe you are so hung up because she is the first girl you felt that way for and it's hard to let go of that feeling. It will hurt, but at least you have your husband to lean on.
     
  3. vegandreama

    vegandreama Reliable Contributor
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2018
    Messages:
    232
    Ratings:
    +49 / 0 / -0
    Hello and welcome! I'm bisexual too. I also used to become obsessive about the people I fancied but I'm more mature now. Why would anyone want to hate you for being bisexual?
     
  4. Iwilldance

    Iwilldance I am not throwing away my shot
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2018
    Messages:
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    Ratings:
    +145 / 0 / -0
    We're generally not hatefull here. Welcome :) 
     
  5. BoredBiGuy
    Jubilant

    BoredBiGuy Professional Optimist
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    234
    Location:
    USA
    Ratings:
    +250 / 0 / -0
    Hey KT4Real! Welcome to the Community!
    I see you just joined which is amazing! I remember when i first joined and i was so scared and excited all at once to meet new people and all that wonderfulness! I just wanted to give you a grand old welcoming and tell you that you are really going to love it here! You will meet tons of friendly people who are just like you and want to talk and get to know you as well and it will be such an amazing time for you!
    You will have a lot of fun here, and don't forget to make some more posts about personal interests and things like that on some of the other forum pages to help get your name out there and help people with similar interests discover you! I wish you the best of luck and believe you will do great things and have a truly amazing time here! If you ever have any questions or anything, please feel free to PM me and i will try to answer what i can for you!
    Thanks so much for reading and have a wonderful time!
    Your unofficial Welcoming Committee,
    - Grant :skype-heart: 
     

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