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Need advice

Discussion in 'For Parents or Guardians of LGBT+ Children' started by MPPtn, Dec 30, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. MPPtn

    MPPtn Lurker

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    My son is 16 years old. When he was 14, we became aware that he was sexting with boys that he met online. After talking with him, we discussed how that may not always be the safest thing and also talked briefly about sexual orientation and that we are ok with whoever he is. He denied at the time that he was gay and that he was just curious and doing that for fun.

    Fast forward two years. Over the past few months, he has been spending a large amount of time with a boy who is a year older and openly gay. He has spent the night at the boys house a couple of times and they spend some time together every day. My daughter, who is 18, says the older boy snapchats pics of them together, calling my son affectionate names.

    We have told my son many times that we love him no matter what. When we say these types of things now he gets very angry and leaves and will say, “why do ya’ll tell me that?!?!”

    We haven’t asked him if he’s gay or even used that word, but he’ll respond angrily when we try to have a conversation to help him feel comfortable and know that we love him. We know it’s his journey, but we want to help him on that way. Any advice?
     
  2. Alsthom
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    Alsthom Princess Chick Pea
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    Hello and welcome to the forums!
    First of all, thank you for being supportive of LGBT+ people.

    I think you've done all you cloud. Your son clearly doesn't like being pressed, so leave him be. You've let him know that you'll support him no matter who he is, so when he is ready, he will probably come to you on his own.
    He is a teenager, it's a difficult time as you probably know. He is discovering himself. That'll take time, be patient. Also, teens never like when their parents get nosy about their private stuff :D  .

    What you can do to further your point that you are okay with LGBT+ people is make positive comments if you see any on TV or somewhere else. Try not to be too obvious though ;) 
     
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  3. MPPtn

    MPPtn Lurker

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    Thank you, Alsthom. Your advice is really appreciated. I agree with not pushing. Just want him to be happy and comfortable with who he is. We have always tried to show support of all LGBT+ in front of our children. Thanks again for your welcome and your response.
     
  4. MPPtn

    MPPtn Lurker

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    Since I first posted the question, my son has brought his boyfriend to our house many times and has openly displayed affection in our presence. He has been open about attending a support group in our community for LGBT+ youth, even having me take him when he didn’t have a ride. Finally, he told us, “thank you for making this easy for me, not all my friends have that.” I guess I was always expecting him to say the words, “I’m gay.” But I guess it doesn’t always happen like that lol. Still try to help him in anyway I can. Thanks.
     
  5. Alsthom
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    Alsthom Princess Chick Pea
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    Thanks again for being great parents!
     
  6. FTM
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    I think it is super cool that you are such great parents. Even if I could come out to my parents, they would never accept me, let alone pick me up and take me to LGBTQ+ stuff. I just think that is super cool.
     

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