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Transsexual Need advice! New girl here!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by BrendaP1999, Oct 7, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. BrendaP1999

    BrendaP1999 Full MtF

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    Hi! I am new to this site but I think I am going to like it. I am in sort of a Dilemma.

    I am a post op transsexual MTF. I am presently engaged to be married to a straight male. The problem is he doesn’t know I’m transgender. I look and act like a woman in every way. I told him early in our relationship that I couldn’t have children and he is good with that. He wants us to adopt which I am thrilled with. I just don’t want to be married for a long time and then he finds out. I mean I am a woman but not sure how he would handle that. Any ideas? Should I come clean before we get married?
     
  2. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Hi Brenda and welcome thr forum from this old cis bi guy. :) 

    This is purely my personal opinion and others here may disagree, but I think a marriage should be based on honesty. He's in love with the woman you are (and always have been, inside) but it seems to me that its only fair to both of you for him to know and understand the journey you've been through to fully become yourself.

    I realise the prospect of telling him scares you - it's a gamble, and we all fear rejection - but IMHO it's the best way. If he truly loves you for YOU, knowing the facts of your history won't change his feelings one bit ...and if he does react badly, then you'll have had a lucky escape from being tied to a guy who wasn't right for you in the first place.
     
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  3. BrendaP1999

    BrendaP1999 Full MtF

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    Thank you Thespis. I think that is the advice I was looking for. Thank you so much.
     
  4. Kahlan

    Kahlan Dedicative Advisor
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    I agree with Thespis, and you don't want him finding out in some other way. If you don't tell him till afterwards, he could interpret that as a form of lying by omission, and probably not the best way to start off with your new husband.
     
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  5. BrendaP1999

    BrendaP1999 Full MtF

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    You are both right Kahlan. I just have to work up the courage to tell him. Thank you so much!
     
  6. mike300

    mike300 Reliable Advisor
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    i agree with thespis
     
  7. BeautyQueen
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    BeautyQueen Good Girl
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    Yes that's true. There are plenty of men who wouldn't care about you being transgender, so don't be afraid! By being honest to him, you are just checking if he's the one for you. Best of luck!
     
  8. Jessica45
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    Jessica45 Bisexual genderfluid slightly insane
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    I hope it all goes well and you have a wonderful life together
     

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