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my understanding of human sexuality

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by Jonah Fitzsimmons, Feb 13, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Jonah Fitzsimmons

    Jonah Fitzsimmons Greenhorn

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    I believe most people in the world are naturally to some degree bisexual. I believe most persons (including those who appear to be heterosexual on the surface) had, have, or will have one or more secretive same-sex sexual fantasies, same-sex sexual arousal or same-sex sexual attractions over their lifetimes. I believe most people will not reveal the same-sex side of their overall sexuality openly. I believe many have lied about the same-sex side of their sexual nature to cover it up. They are made to be afraid or ashamed to be open about their same-sex sexuality by others including peers. They have fear of being called names, made fun of or violently attacked.

    I also believe sexual orientation has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine. I find the ignorant age-old stereotype association of male homosexuality and effeminacy deplorable. There are both butch and sissy people of both sexes and of all sexual orientations. I think married heterosexual men, some of whom act homophobic, hen-pecked by their domineering wives are especially lame.

    The ignorant Judeo-Christian culture of the West has made this same-sex taboo so for centuries. Same-sex sexual relationships were once welcome in the European paganism of antiquity. Bisexuals and homosexuals have lost many of their societal dignities and rights since the fall of the Roman empire and the rise of the church.

    Homophobia has destroyed my life and made me very lonely now at age 55. My grandfather was very homophobic. He said that I didn't like girls because I would complain about scantily-dressed women on TV during the late 1970's. He said people will think me "queer" for complaining about younger women who are indecently dressed. My "dirty-old-man" grandfather didn't mind the appearance of self-revealing young attractive suntanned women on TV at all. This was the kind of anti-gay sentiment in my public schools even in Marin and San Mateo Counties of California. Remember this was in the 1970's and 1980's. San Francisco was the original gay Mecca but surrounding Bay Area cultures still exhibited strong anti-gay sentiment. Same-sex sexual relationships were "denormalized". We had a kind of sexual "caste system". Homosexuals were shunned like the Amish shun some of their members.

    I could not openly have a boyfriend in school to attend school functions as dances and whatnot. I was often bullied by peers to have sexual relationships with girls. I was a virgin until age 24. I have considered myself a bisexual secretly from about age 12. In high school I was asked by another boy in class if I had a girlfriend. I said no and then he asked if I had a boyfriend. Everybody broke out in laughter. This is the kind of peer-pressure and bullying I have endured. I have had but a handful of sexual relations with women, mostly whores. I have never had a sexual relationship with a man or a boy in high school. I never had the courage to try to explore that part of me. Negative attitudes about same-sex sexuality has locked me in the closet out of fear lifelong.

    If it were the norm for most people to walk about naked in public, nobody would feel modest about doing it. I was conditioned in my upbringing that both my human body and same-sex love was somehow "bad".

    If bisexuality and homosexuality were as equally accepted as heterosexuality in mainstream society, we would indeed see two boys or two girls holding hands at public junior high schools, high schools or on college campuses quite often. We would commonly see two men or two women necking in parked cars shamelessly and fearlessly. No person should be made to feel ashamed or afraid to love another on account the other person's reproductive anatomy relative to his or her own private parts.

    I don't like to see segregation of people by sexual orientation also. I know exactly how people of color felt back during Jim Crow days. The days of the back of the bus. The days of separate drinking fountains. There should be no need for separate gay communities in the Land of the Free.

    I want the public education system to end the ignorance about sexual orientations. I want the raw and scientific truth about all sexual orientations to become an important part of sex ed and safety ed in schools.

    I feel the most homophobic people on earth harbor erotic same-sex feelings and fantasies and are self-hating. Before we can begin to expect others to love us we must first learn to love ourselves. Gay/bi hatred is purely a learned behavior. My love life was ruined by societal ignorance a long time ago. I was deprived of the love I could never enjoy and never will enjoy. It's too late for me in my life now to enjoy truly un-closeted free love. My sex life is a tragedy. So many lonely people in the world have experienced what I have, I fear. I have a dream that someday others won't have to suffer as I did.
     
    #1 Jonah Fitzsimmons, Feb 13, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
  2. BiZous
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    BiZous Dedicative Contributor
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    Children are rarely tender between each other
    Mentalities are evolving a lot, in western countries at least. Young people are much more open to homosexuality than before.
    But you are now 55, and since childhood, you haven't tried a homosexual relationship? You need to accept yourself first to be accepted,... it's difficult and sometimes it can take years and years…
    I'm sad you say that now it's too late… maybe another way to escape yourself / solve by putting yourself an end to your problem, would it be possible?
     
    #2 BiZous, Feb 13, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
  3. Jonah Fitzsimmons

    Jonah Fitzsimmons Greenhorn

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    It's too late for me as I am well beyond the age of sexual attraction. I get get love and affection at my age from my dogs. I've always been much more fond of animals than people anyway.

    I hope someday soon that two high-school boys or two high-school girls can hold hands or kiss on campus without fear or shame or bullying from anybody. Western society will have to be retooled to accept this open same-sex showing of affection as a normal possibility. Human ignorance has always been the toughest fault to fix. Ignorance is the root of all man-made evil. Ignorance and narrow-mindedness are the mother and father of all hatred.
     
    #3 Jonah Fitzsimmons, Feb 13, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2020
  4. bi-fi signal
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    bi-fi signal *bi intensifies*
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    hi jonah, and welcome. i'm sorry about what you've had to go through. you may think that it is too late for a sexual relationship, but i'm sure it's not too late for romantic relationship, unless you are aromantic.
     
  5. Jonah Fitzsimmons

    Jonah Fitzsimmons Greenhorn

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    Maybe not. Romance was never my bag. Since I was 34, I've been celibate.
     

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