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Bisexual My heart has been broken || Am I wrong??

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by AlexaMtz, Jun 29, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. AlexaMtz
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    AlexaMtz Greenhorn
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    In my previous post, I was thinking to tell my feelings to my friend, I met her at video games, but we don't live close each other, just 5 hours far. And I was asking if it was a good idea to tell her my feelings after she had broken with her boyfriend.

    So I waited a while, and then I told her my feelings for her and she said she was feeling the same for me, but she was scared because she feels insecure about it for many reasons. Then I told her I'll do anything to make this possible, to meet us in person, to accomplish our goals, etc, and she said she was agree with it.

    I'm a highly sensitive person, I have a gif/course about feeling things others can't, so in her Fb I started to note a guy who was very interested about her, the first time I couldn't say anything because we didn't have a formal relationship, but it made me think that maybe she was flirting with him too!! and I told her, but she denied that, then this guy started being more intense in her Fb like if he were marking territory, so I were too jealous about him, but she was denying any kind of feeling for him, but my heart started to broke, because she was talking with him the same way she was talking to me, she called him honey, babe, and that kind of things, so I started to fall apart from her, but she wanted to keep me close with her, but it wasn't fair for me, and in the last discussion we had, she was very upset with me, maybe the way I told her, hurts her and she told me that she realized that she was confused about her feelings with me, she didn't mean that I guess.

    I'm so sad about this, it's been a week since I decided to tell her that I needed to heal myself, being apart from her, but in that discussion she told me -"Why don't you stay with me and just be my friend?", I told her it's hard to me watch how she can love someone else. The question here is, Would you have stayed? Will she realize one day she was wrong? She was playing with my feelings...
     
  2. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Dedicative Advisor
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    I'm so sorry this happened to you Alexa<3 I think you are absolutely right in your feelings, they are justified. You're right, it wasn't fair for her to string you along for awhile if that was what was going on. It does seem though, from your story, that it may be very likely that she is not sure how she feels about anyone yet and maybe she liked the attention both you and the guy gave her? She was probably drawn to both of you because of that, but it does not sound in any way that she's ready for commitment. Were you guys officially together, or still kind of talking about maybe trying it out? Its also possible I guess that if she thought you guys weren't officially together, it didn't matter if she was flirting with the guy. Some people are just naturally flirty people, but it doesn't always mean they are very serious. She should have been upfront with you though if she also liked him OR she knew the guy was showing interest as well, so that you would feel okay. Its also possible that maybe fear got the best of her. I don't know if she comes from a family or background that is really homophobic, do you? Its possible she's not ready to come out or feels pressured to choose the guy because its "more socially accepting" and if something were to happen, she wouldn't have to figure out as much or jump through extra hurtles. I know that's not right, but fear can sometimes makes us chicken out and choose avoidance. Its impossible to really say what was going on, unless she herself admits it, but it looks like unless she messages you more, the only explanation you have is she doesn't know how she feels. Until she does, you guys can't have a romantic relationship and its up to you whether you want to attempt to be her friend either now or down the line. That's something only you can judge though. For some, its too hard and too uncomfortable, like for the reason you gave of it hurting too much to see her with someone else. That's absolutely valid. Its hard to say what I would do...I feel like i'm more patient than most and would give endless chances to someone I really loved cause I know i've done it before, but that's not the best thing to do either. At the same time though, I 100 percent understand how it would be heartbreaking to see her with someone new, especially if she pursues the guy. In that way, especially if it happens now, I don't think I could stay either.
     
  3. AlexaMtz
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    AlexaMtz Greenhorn
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    Thank you so much taking the time reading on my sad story, It's really hard to handle it at this moment, I feel hopeless because I thought it would became the first relationship with a girl, a girl who loved me in the same way as I, I really trusted her, we weren't officially together, also at the fight we had, she said that I ruined all of this, all the plans we had because I was looking for more love from her, or more attention, or the exclusivity, but no! I didn't look that things, even I told her I don't know how to demonstrate love, attention because it's hard to me to show love, I mean for me that word means a lot. I thought the same as you, maybe she hasn't came out officially, but I don't know because she told me that she had had girlfriends before, even I asked her how was it. Maybe she just lied, I don't know, I'm hoping she realizes what she has done to me...
     
  4. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Dedicative Advisor
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    Im really sorry=( I absolutely understand hoping that you found something with someone and maybe doing so, but having it all be short lived=( Its really devastating=( It does sound like though that maybe she just really isn't the person for you, or can't be right now=( You deserve better than that.
     

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