1. Like the site? Help us keep it running! For $5 you can help keep the site running smoothly and disable ads for life. The site is funded by donations like this and minimal ad revenue: Click here to donate $5. Thank you!

My dads best friend is hurting me

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Bi-women123, Mar 11, 2018.  |  Print Topic

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 10 users.
  1. Bi-women123
    Adorable

    Bi-women123 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    (WARNING BAD WORDS!)
    Ok here is the background of my dads best friend: his mother and father died and I was there for him, he cried on me all day as I told him to let it out.
    after a while he thanked me and we had pickles and we talked, it was really great to talk to him because I got to know him more because he was moving in with us.
    after a while he was being rude to me, like let's say when I talk to my sister and she kicked me and I flicked her on the head (it did happen) he would walk over and then yell at me saying "TOUCH HER I WILL CALL THE COPS AND HAVE YOU ARRESTED!"
    sisters fight and hit each other because it's a sister thing we do!

    know back to what happened today, so I tried to run away because umm *cough* he yelled at me and called me a slut *cough* and when my father picked me up and talked to me he came down and said I was a jerk and that he never loved me...
    my father grounded me for two days and I did not really care because I had my two sister there with me! know let's call him P, he comes up as I was reading and I hear him talking to himself, thinking it was something about my dad I walk to my door and listen... I will never forget what he said. (warning very bad language in this)
    "she is such a slut... how could he adopt her? she should be with her mother dressing like a slut and having sex,"
    I don't know why he called me that but it hurt, this is the reason I tried to runaway because he is being so rude! and I have been think of calling 911 to take me away but I can't leave my sisters, I love them to much and if I leave them I think P will hurt my sister and she may do the same thing I have... and they are bad things.
    I really need help because today at dinner I got up and walked over to get more pizza as I walked back he touched my butt... I don't know if it was by mistake but it really is bothering me and it makes me feel dirty and I hate it.
    if you know what to do please tell me! I want to make the right choice.
     
  2. Jayme82
    Movie Buff

    Jayme82 Well-Known Ambassador
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,144
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +1,103 / 0 / -3
    I was in a similar situation with my neighbor he grabbed my butt then later on forced me to have sex with him for years he told me he would hurt my little brother if i didn't have sex with him whenever he asked this went on til he moved away
    What your going through scares me alot that's how my sexual abuse got started when I was 12 I was scared to say anything til he moved away but I did now he's in prison where he belongs if anything else happens and you know he did it on purpose please report it to someone maybe at your school so you will be safe and he won't be right there or call the police but make sure you call them from a safe place so he can't stop you or harm you but he seems like he could get violent if he knew you were going to report him don't let him know and report him from where you would be safe from him I wouldn't want anything to happen to you
    Please stay safe
     
  3. Bi-women123
    Adorable

    Bi-women123 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    I am so sorry to hear that Jayme82!
    it must have been hard for you to come out from your point of view, P uses my sister as a little "safe" place from me.
    he would grab her and say things like "grace do you like your sister hurting me?" or "come on grace let's have a chat about your older sister,"
    I have told my friends about him and when I tried to run away he yelled at them saying they were nothing in the world, P has touched in other places like the shoulder and would squeeze it nothing to bad but I will call 911 when march break is over and ask them to take me away, I should not be forced to live with a man who uses me and my sister and calls me names.
    I am really am sorry to hear about what your neighbor did to you, I hope he spends the rest of his life in that jail cell thinking about what he has down to make such a amazing person who is amazing in everyway!
    I really am sorry Jayme82
     
  4. Jayme82
    Movie Buff

    Jayme82 Well-Known Ambassador
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,144
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +1,103 / 0 / -3
    Thank you so much for your very kind words you made me tear up reading it I think you are a amazing person too and you are very brave for coming forward and I'm really proud of you I wish had the courage you have to have stopped him right away but at least you are stopping your abuser before it gets worse what he's doing is what abusers do they find something to use against you in therapy terms it's called grooming they do that to set up there plan for future abuse usually sexual
    Don't worry my abuser is gone for good unfortunately I wasn't the only one I wish I was and no one else got hurt too but at least all of us coming forward is what will keep him in prison
    If you ever need someone to talk just message me I'm here most of the time
     
  5. River W.
    Jammie

    River W. "One day, you'll feel okay." -Pete Wentz
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2017
    Messages:
    966
    Location:
    Gallifrey
    Ratings:
    +1,113 / 1 / -1
    Ok, I know you love your sisters, but you NEED to call the cops. I'm sure this would turn into a sexual abuse thing if you don't call them. The cops will help you with this situation.
     
  6. Bi-women123
    Adorable

    Bi-women123 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    UPDATE (please note I did try to stand up for myself)
    so P and I were in the same room and I have bad panic attacks and I was having one, he started laughing at me because I could not move, my panic attacks are different I freeze up and just like fall down.
    my dad picked me up and laid me down on my bed and P comes to my room and then calls me a psycho and stuff, I could still speak so I said "shut up or I will scream for dad you fucker,"
    he left me alone but when it came for dessert he made my sister cookies and when it came for me to have my two he looks down and takes them, and eats them RIGHT IN MY FACE!
    I told on P and my father gave me a huge bowl of ice cream...

    know my sister and I were talking about if I do call 911 and then something came to me, does hand threatening count as illegal?
    he has done that SO many times, I really don't know I kinda need help with that, jayme82 do you know if he can get arrested because of that?
     
  7. River W.
    Jammie

    River W. "One day, you'll feel okay." -Pete Wentz
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2017
    Messages:
    966
    Location:
    Gallifrey
    Ratings:
    +1,113 / 1 / -1
    I think if he has threatened you, then the police can do something. I'm sorry that he mocked your panic attacks. He seems to be a horrible excuse for a human being if you ask me.
     
  8. AudryLeigh
    Worried

    AudryLeigh On Leave.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,822 / 0 / -25
    Why, in God's name is this sicko your Dad's best friend? Your Dad must not know him very well, or else your Dad is worse than a lousy excuse for a parent. Why can't you tell your Dad about this? Would he not do something about it, if he knew it was happening? You shouldn't have to be the one to call the cops, your Dad should do that. It's very upsetting to me that, for whatever reason, you can't tell your Dad and expect him to come down on this guy like flies on shit (excuse my 'French'). This guy is sick, and needs to be taken off the streets before he hurts you, eventually your sisters, and God knows who else. Stay strong. Talk to a counselor at school, or the school nurse. I'm sure that somebody will do something to get this guy out of your life, and hopefully out of circulation, before he hurts others as well.

    Lots of big, warm hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  9. Bi-women123
    Adorable

    Bi-women123 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    Audry Leigh
    you are right about one thing he should be kicked out but here is the thing, he loves my two sisters, when I try to tell my father what he dos to me, the only thing he does and say I am using him for my mental problem. (I started cutting and stopped eating because of the words he uses)
    I tried to talk to the teachers and counselors but they all told me the same thing "Harmony he is 54 he would NEVER hurt you,"
    I then tried to run away I had to lie to my school just to get on the bus but they called my father and he picked me up and P yelled at me.
    I know it was wrong of me to lie to the school but I needed to leave, but know that I know he is verbally abuses me I can call 911 and leave and maybe take my sisters.
    I really hope this goes well because my father can't do anything because P has this "book" with him that he uses to scare my father.
     
  10. AudryLeigh
    Worried

    AudryLeigh On Leave.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,822 / 0 / -25
    Bull shit! He's using your sisters to get to you, he doesn't love anybody except himself!
    Holy Christ, bull shit! Your teachers are fools or worse, and any counselor you talked to needs to have their license revoked.
    And what does your father think is the source of your mental problems? All abused kids (all abused people, of any age) have mental problems. Well over half the people who are being treated for mental problems were victims of abuse.
    What kind of "book"? He might be blackmailing your father. The "book" might be a record of something your father doesn't want people to know about, and P is threatening to expose the information in it, if your father doesn't cooperate with him. You need to get the law involved, I think.

    Their has to be a group in your town that advocates for abused kids -- you need to find them. Talk to a priest or minister if you can't find someone else to listen to you -- just keep going from church to church if you have to. This guy is a predator, pure and simple, and the people at your school are morons, at best. Predators are dangerous people, and being 54 actually puts him in the age group most predators are in, and any school counselor who doesn't know that should be replaced with someone qualified to actually do the job.

    Your school counselors must not be actual counselors, just educators who couldn't find a teaching position, and your teachers need to take a workshop on child abuse. Where do you live? It's hard to believe that in 2018 there are any educators left who have not had some training in how to recognize and deal with deal with child abuse, and it's NOT by discounting kids who report abuse! Have you talked to the principal? Someone in your school has to have had some training in how to deal with child abuse. If the principal can't or won't help you, the School Board should know about it. In most locales, school board members are elected, and are often parents themselves. Some responsible adult needs to listen to you and take you seriously. Even if you were delusional and greatly exaggerating things, your complaints should ring alarm bells in some adult's head.

    Your entire situation just reeks of abuse and neglect. P is a predator (P is for predator), and is abusing you, and your Dad is at least being negligent, as is every adult you have talked to so far.

    You can PM me, if you want to get this conversation out of public view. On the other hand, if you are OK with people on this site knowing what's going on with you, this could be good for anyone else who is experiencing anything like what you are, to see. There may be people here who are having similar experiences, but who are still afraid to tell anyone. You are brave for speaking up.

    More big warm hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
  11. Jayme82
    Movie Buff

    Jayme82 Well-Known Ambassador
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,144
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +1,103 / 0 / -3
    Sorry I was gone for a little bit while you needed some help and advice
    The more I hear about your situation the worse I feel for you I know you love your father but allowing P to treat you badly over the book he has against your father is no excuse to allow it I'm not a parent but I have two nephews that I love to death if my best friend was abusive to them and had something against me even if I would go to prison for what he had against me I'd turn him in and go to prison with him if need be to save the ones I love
    It also seems like people are treating your mental issues as if what you say is a lie or an exaggeration of the truth because you have mental issues don't they realize that all allegations no matter who they come from regardless of there mental health issues needs to be taken seriously and investigated to find out the truth
    verbal abuse and hand gestures or whatever he does to threaten you is an arrestable offense a threat is a threat period a friend of mine got arrested after he got drunk and texted his ex-wife a vaguely threatening message the police will protect you from him over any kind of threat and he should go to jail
    I'm scared for your safety something has to be done to protect your safety if your father refuses to help you must take matters into your own hands I had a friend who had a younger sister her uncle abused her for years then when her sister got older he started to move on to her sister she finally got the courage to stop him to save her sister the likely hood after awhile he'll start abusing your sisters too predators such as him rarely abuse only one victim so for your safety and possibly your sisters too he has to be sent away before it goes further from you to them
    So please go find someone anyone that will listen to you,believe you and help you
     
  12. Robert Ceballo

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2018
    Messages:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0
    It’s assault and emotional abuse
     
  13. AudryLeigh
    Worried

    AudryLeigh On Leave.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,822 / 0 / -25
    Whatever happened here?

    Hey Bi-women123, you still out there? Are you OK?

    I'd really like to hear from you. If you read this, please post back.

    Hugs,

    Audry Leigh
     
  14. LegendOfZelda11

    LegendOfZelda11 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    In Space On Another Planet
    Ratings:
    +22 / 0 / -0
    Your dad should listen to you and kick P out of the house, I don't understand how he allows this man around you and your sisters! You should try to tell the police about this, and if you need to, try to get some proof for the police. For example one of your sister's could record any abusive behavior he does. It will only need to come to that though if the police officers need proof. I've met many predators like P in my lifetime, a majority of them are cowards plain and simple. It sickens me how so many predators can talk their way out of getting in trouble, or the damned deranged idiots who defend the predators. Am sorry I can't give better advice on this situation. What makes me feel safer against these types of sick bastards is learning martial arts or boxing in case it ever needs to come to that. Youtube has all kinds of tutorials on protecting yourself against predators. I hope your doing okay now
     
    #14 LegendOfZelda11, Mar 26, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2018
  15. AudryLeigh
    Worried

    AudryLeigh On Leave.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,822 / 0 / -25
    I agree, LegendOfZelda11, but I am seriously worried about the OP here. It's been a long time since she's posted. I know anonymity is of paramount importance on this site, but times like this make me wish we had a telephone number, or something to give the authorities in her area to alert them to what's going on. The most I can tell about her is that she is in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, and that her Internet Service Provider is Rogers Cable. Sadly, not really enough information to send in the Marines. We can post all the good advice we want, but if she's not able to get on-line (which not hearing from her makes me fear), none of it is going to help her.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  16. LegendOfZelda11

    LegendOfZelda11 Greenhorn
    Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    In Space On Another Planet
    Ratings:
    +22 / 0 / -0
    This is really terrible, could be possible she's just been busy lately with school and such. Am hoping and praying the best for her, best thing we can do is check up to see if she gets back online. I to wish there was a telephone number for these things. Am not sure if the police over there could get her location and information through Roger's Cable if someone notified them about the situation she's in. They might be able to though.
     
  17. AudryLeigh
    Worried

    AudryLeigh On Leave.
    Moderator Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Location:
    Somewhere Under the Rainbow
    Ratings:
    +1,822 / 0 / -25
    I do have her IP address, which Rogers Cable could trace to a street address, but I have absolutely no idea who to give that information to who would actually take it seriously, and act on it. I'm good at what I do here, and used to have serious connections to Law Enforcement agencies all over the US, but that was a long time ago, and I don't even know what name the law enforcement agencies in Canada go by -- no Idea who to call. At this point, If I could do it, I'd make a 911 call to her local police. I feel pretty helpless. Back when, I had contacts in the Canadian equivalent to the FBI, but I've suffered a little brain damage since then, and my memory doesn't serve me well -- I can't even remember the name of that agency, and since I don't have contacts there any more, I don't know if I could get through to anybody who could do anything anyway. There was a time when I could have made one phone call, and sent in the Marines almost anywhere in the Free World, but that was a long time ago. If you wanted to do a little research, some GOOGLE searches and such, and could find an email address or phone number, her IP address is 173.35.181.36. That, and a cut and paste of her original post might be enough to get something done. I'd do it, but I'm already loaded down with some very high priority things that are happening here right now, and really can't take time away from that. You could maybe be a heroine and do something about this. IDK, I wouldn't even know where to start, but then my brain is broken. I do what I do well, but there's a lot of things I used to be able to do that I can't do any more. If you do decide to try to do something, best of luck, and if there's anything I could do to help, you could PM me, but like I said, I'm under the gun with some serious shit right now, and may not br able to answer for a while. I feel so useless sometimes, these days.
     
  18. Digi Destined
    Psychedelic

    Digi Destined UN➊ THΞ ⒸAT
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2015
    Messages:
    1,685
    Location:
    Illinois
    Ratings:
    +1,033 / 18 / -106
    It’s simple if he’s gonna talk to you like sexual trash then he’s gonna treat you like sexual trash and you’re not protecting your sisters by not calling the cops cause he’s gonna abuse them too or probably already is who knows but you have to report the emotional abuse and sexual harassment and report your dads neglect to your complaints and his insults too.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  19. Sir A.G
    Artistic

    Sir A.G Transgender Guy
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    3,711
    Location:
    Somewhere Down Under
    Ratings:
    +2,700 / 1 / -5
    I know you're trying to help her but posting something as personal as an ip address is a bit unnecessary. It's out in the open for everyone to see.
     
  20. Sir A.G
    Artistic

    Sir A.G Transgender Guy
    Premium Supporter Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    3,711
    Location:
    Somewhere Down Under
    Ratings:
    +2,700 / 1 / -5
    I noticed her country isn't public on her profile, but now I know where she is from, city and everything. You can find out a lot more with an ip address. I feel it's a deep disrespect of privacy to do that with your powers, no matter the reason.
     

Support the site and hide ads for life for $5. Click here to donate.

Share This Page