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Love or Like?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by xAlicia19, Jan 7, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. xAlicia19

    xAlicia19 Lurker

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    I'm new to this forum, and i feel kinda dumb for posting something but my girlfriend of 8 months and i took a couple weeks off from our relationship because she got grounded and we both became really busy. We started talking again about a week ago when she got ungrounded, our chatting was spotty and stuff but yesterday she told me she's changed and doesnt love me romantically anymore. She said she'd changed since we had stopped talking and there was nobody else but things had just "changed." yeah im super heartbroken but at the same time, is that possible? how do you fall out of love that quickly? Did she even love me in the first place? We've been through so much together and this feels sudden but also expected. I dont know anymore.
     
  2. Valarmorghulis
    Blah

    Valarmorghulis Active Veteran
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    she cannot have 'loved' you at all if she has done that (sorry if that sounds harsh) but it sounds to me like she was playing with you. It could be that she is struggling with her sexuality but if you love someone you would not treat them like that.
     
  3. angel70
    Supportive

    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Why was she grounded? Could it have anything to do with your relationship? If her parents told her to back off, she probably wouldn't want to tell you -- it might embarrass her, and it certainly wouldn't help her stay ungrounded!
     
  4. xAlicia19

    xAlicia19 Lurker

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    no, no her parents are super cool with me. maybe youre right though, maybe something happen.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 9, 2017 ---
    but she was super into me previously, like way more clingy than i was. I dont know its so confusing its like she was super clingy and now shes just gone.
     
    #4 xAlicia19, Jan 9, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  5. Valarmorghulis
    Blah

    Valarmorghulis Active Veteran
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    Yep... that's called a player.
     
  6. Youset
    Meh

    Youset Greenhorn
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    Not necessarily, feelings change, passion goes out
     
  7. cplolo
    Moonlighting

    cplolo Bro
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    The initial passion of a relationship tends to start to dwindle around the six month mark, I find. I strongly believe that you can't really know if you "love" someone before then because those lusty romantic feelings cloud judgement and get in the way. Ironically, those feelings are usually mistaken for 'love' itself, with many an "I love you" trotted out as we idolize our partners in this stage. I've done it myself. Then when those feelings fade or die one or both partners is left feeling that they were lied to.

    It's totally possible and even likely that her feelings have changed. In some cases, the connection and attraction you share goes a little deeper and so the relationship can evolve into a different stage... one that is, admittedly, less exciting and soul consuming but arguably more genuine.

    Or, if there isn't much more, the relationship dies. If your girlfriend is not interested in deepening the relationship because the spark's worn off, then there's not much you can do but let it go, move on and have adventures with others. Who wants a clingy girlfriend, anyways.
     
    #7 cplolo, Jan 10, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017

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