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Bisexual Liking men and women differently

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Martac12, Jun 17, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Martac12

    Martac12 Lurker

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    Hi! I think I’m bi, I’m not entirely sure tho.
    So to put this into perspective, a few years ago I was pretty sure I was bi, now I’m not so sure, which makes me feel really foolish. I do feel attracted to women but it’s in a VERY different way than with men. I know I’m attracted to guys because I’ve been with guys but I’ve never been with a girl, which makes this much harder to figure out.
    I find girl to be oh so very pretty. I can easily see myself holding hands, going on dates, kissing and having a life with a girl but not so easily when it comes to being sexual, just in a few cases. With guys, I can do both without much thinking
    There is this old friend of mine that I’ve been attracted to (although I don’t have feelings for her, if that makes sense) for the longest time, she is the reason I started questioning my sexuality. She does this thing when she is drunk where she just kisses everyone without any meaning to it (she calls them friendship kisses) and I’ve kissed her a few times because of this. I do like it but it’s never more than meaningless little kisses so I never counted it as anything.
    I live in a very small place and I see the same people everyday, so meeting someone new, without being from the internet is basically impossible. So I try to talk to girls online but I end up feeling nervous and thinking, maybe I don’t like girls after all, even if I look at her pictures and “feel” something.
    It’s all very confusing, because I’m okay with saying I have a huge crush on a girl or that she is the most fun and beautiful person I’ve seen but I can’t seem to do anything from there.
    Does anyone relate to this or am I crazy?
     
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  2. Doglover44
    Complacent

    Doglover44 Reliable Advisor
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    Im Bi and like men and women differently
     
  3. ConfusedButHappy
    Amused

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    Hey! Bi guy here. It's definitely possible to have a differing type/level of attraction between men and women. If it's the sexual part of female relationships that don't quite click for you, it's possible you're heterosexual biromantic (romantic attraction to men and women) or some mix between bisexual (but leaning towards men) and biromantic.

    In the end, the labels don't really matter but can provide some comfort. Just know that bisexuality is rarely a balanced 50-50 split when it comes to attraction to men vs women, so what you're experiencing is totally normal and valid. :) 
     
  4. hushusna

    hushusna mademoiselle pan-demic
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    Hey (❁´▽`❁)
    I think it's never be such things as crazy in your situation. I also had a relationship with men before and it's much different as crushing on girls. We are already split cause we didn't have good tolerance - (I also lost interest with guy). Maybe you're leaning more to one side. Well, let's try to screw the cork out by doing experiments. But please be careful by not hurting someone's heart. It sounds crazy but trust me, it worth. Knowing and understanding yourself is a time consuming process. I'm stressing here the term of "let time defined" because we can't force something to happened. We are at such a young age (I'm 17 :") and Let it goes naturally.

    Living in small time also can be a problem to meet new person. We are at the same shoe ^_^… I don't have any chance to meet any LGBTQ+ folks because people in my town are super conservative. So this platform helps me to connect with the community around the globe. I feels more connected, like a nice place to meet people virtually.
    I wish you to have a nice day. :) 

    Love,
    Husna
     
  5. AuroraBean
    Torn

    AuroraBean Lurker

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    Hey, I have very similar feeling to yours, thanks for sharing them!
    I've strongly identified with bisexuality ever since I was 13 (7 years ago) and a few years ago I started questioning myself again, throughout the years on and off.
    I have kissed both men and women, but only dated and had sex with men. I really like kissing girls and I LOVE them aesthetically so much, I can feel very attracted to them. But the idea of dating or having sex with them is just not as appealing? So maybe it's just a sensual attraction? I don't know.
    I then think 'am I not just straight?' but then again, straight girls usually don't feel attraction towards other girls and don't like kissing them... So maybe I'm heteroflexible ? Or just bi and very much leaning to men?
    I often feel like I'm not 'bi enough' because of this difference in attraction, but attraction is fluid anyway, and can't ever be fully captured by just a label (maybe for some but not everyone.)
    Whatever it is, it's okay. There's no right or wrong!
     
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  6. sweetnsuckulent

    sweetnsuckulent Greenhorn

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    I am 100% bisexual and love every second of it. Dicks and vaginas equally are capable of causing me to have an orgasm. Let me also add, The anal orgasm which is cause within the anal canal of the males. It is highly electrifying. Sends electrical waves throughout entire body. Jimi seems to be able to locate lot lately. Has to do with riding sexually speaking.
     
  7. Adora_Grayskull
    Starving

    Adora_Grayskull Greenhorn
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    I recently came out as bi, too. I have also dated boys ever since I knew the word 'dating' and I have no experience with women. I Just knew I like women the way I like men. Although I have yet to explore my sexuality since every time I try to pursue the same sex I chicken out. So I just secretly crush on someone. I think that I like both gender but not always on the same degree and not always at the same time
     
  8. La-chonk

    La-chonk Greenhorn
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    I feel exactly the same way. Although I’m a guy who is married and I don’t plan on exploring with other people, I definitely feel attracted to guys differently than women and the intensity changes from day to day.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  9. Rural Artisan

    Rural Artisan Hot Cookie
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    Hi, I'm the same. In the early days of getting to grips with my sexuality I actually found it a bit unnerving until I realised this shifting intensity is a thing because my brain was constantly going: Gay! Straight! Gay!

    I have also wondered how it is possible to have such a range of attraction, but I'm not complaining :) 
     
    #9 Rural Artisan, Jul 3, 2020 at 3:10 PM
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2020 at 3:13 PM
  10. Jimster

    Jimster Lurker

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    my attraction to men is mostly sexual, with women it's sexual and romantic. though at this time my sexual desire for men is a little bit stronger than it is for women
     
  11. La-chonk

    La-chonk Greenhorn
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    Haha very true! I think we’re really conditioned to think that when sexuality is so much more complicated and beautiful than that.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     

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