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LGBTQ Identity and my friend

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by Carlita, Jun 26, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Carlita
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    Carlita Real life baby dolls. Would you have guessed?
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    I was talking to my friend the other day. She talked about how she ran into an old friend who disowned her as a friend because her religion (JW) said she couldn't be around LGBTQ folks. It was the first time my friend ever broke friends for that reason. Something she said made me pause (outside the more serious part). She says "how can she not be my friend because of my sexuality. My sexuality is not -who- I am. It's just who I choose to sleep with."

    I held the phone, looked at it, and was appalled. I didn't want to challenge it because I know she'd go on correcting me, defensive, and that wasn't the point of her frustration. I would have assumed one's sexuality is a part of who a person is. How we see ourselves as male or female or... our identities and so forth. I know a lot of LGBTQ people may not think about it on a daily basis. We do have work to do and other things on our mind. Though, to say it isn't part of one's identity at all?

    She's highly christian and says god is her identity. I understand that but I would assume sexuality, among other things, is how god created her. So wouldn't she consider her being a creation as part of her identity as well as being with her creator?
     
  2. Kahlan

    Kahlan Addictive Advisor
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    Her sexuality is who she chooses to sleep with, but it is also part of who she is. Both are true. Identity and sexuality have moving targets for definitions, and it changes depending on who you talk too and what their belief systems are. (not just talking about religious beliefs.) and while it is perfectly ok for God to be the center of who she is, we can all have different "centers," I think you are correct in your opinion about it, that our identities are tethered to a great many things, sexuality being one of those things. To some it may be more central, to others it may be a non-factor.
     
    #2 Kahlan, Jun 26, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2019
  3. Carlita
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    Carlita Real life baby dolls. Would you have guessed?
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    Thanks. It just kind of felt off. She was very passionate about it. I would have let it go until she said, "it's just who I choose to go to bed with." That got me. There are a lot of stereotypes that LGBTQ are LGBTQ because of who they choose to go to bed with. I wish I could talk to her about it. I took the Myer's Personality test and got Adventurer Artist and she's the Logician. (16Personalities) and I burst out laughing. We are so opposite but sometimes some of the things makes me wonder.
     

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