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Is this normal from parents?

Discussion in 'Bisexual & Pansexual' started by Emma R Vought, Jan 13, 2021.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Emma R Vought
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    Emma R Vought Lurker

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    So, I have recently joined this forum and I've read a lot of stories from others like me. My parents know I'm Bi and honestly don't care if I like boys, girls, whatever. The problem that I have with them is this:
    I have recently started dating my best friend whom I've known since we were in 6th grade (we're Juniors in highschool now). We've always had sleepovers and are both new to finally accepting ourselves as Bi.
    I haven't seen her in over 3 months and we both decided that we would like to have a sleepover (usually at her house). So I asked my mom and she said "If you guys are dating now, I don't trust that you guys won't do something (sexually)" I tried to tell her that we don't have any plan on doing that whatsoever.
    We usually play video games, talk, watch yt, and that's about it.
    My dad then jumped in and agreed with my mom and said that this isn't up for discussion and that there will be no sleepover.
    Heres the thing- I don't see her very often. Last time, I went one year without seeing here before we started dating and I went insane. She's one of my only friends and even because of covid i can't really have sleepover or gatherings with my friends. I don't want to go anotheryear without seeing her. My dad did say we could have a hang out session at her house but her mom is used to the fact that I sleep over and might get suspicious (shes not out to her mom yet because she can be homophobic at times she said and gives mixed signals).

    Is this normal or bad?
     
  2. Jo A
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    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    High - I am/was a parent and it is hard for them. It does not matter what your gender is, sex scares parents.

    The problem is, they forget you can have sex any where.

    If you both plan on have a true relationship, you need to find a way to assure your parents you are young adults and will be safe.

    One of my daughters brought her girlfriend in to see us and looked my wife and I in the eyes and told us they are practicing safe sex and neither of them would get pregnant, then burst out laughing.

    Last bite, I am proud of you for being an adult about this. You have done good and should be proud of yourself.

    Keep us updated please.

    Peace - Jo
     
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  3. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Well-Known Advisor
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    Yeah=( I have heard sleepovers can be kind of a tough one for parents when they find out their kids are bi or lesbian/gay. I've never really had to experience that personally, but i've heard a lot of stories about people saying their parents kept them from doing that or even parents have come on here before and asked "would you let your kid sleep over with someone you know they are dating that is the same gender". Because you are still underage, there's not a whole lot you can do, its kind of their call=( The stupid thing is, like Jo said, parents forget that if 2 kids are going to have sex and mess around, its not going to be during one activity (like a sleepover), it can be anywhere at anytime lol. So, yes, I can see how a sleepover may be concerning for that reason, if you WERE going to do that it wouldn't stop you. I would maybe as a last ditch effort, just sit mom and and both down and tell them what you just said to us. That you are not wanting to do that right now, you really just want to see her because you miss her so much and being without her has been so mentally and emotionally difficult for the 2 off you, AND that you guys have to be careful anyway at her house because of her family. If THAT doesn't work, I would consider just asking to hang out with her because seeing her at all is better than nothing. It sounds like seeing her in general would help you guys out a lot. I hope that helps<3 If you need anything and ever want to talk/be friends, my inbox is always open<3
     
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  4. Emma R Vought
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    Emma R Vought Lurker

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    Thank you very much! Ill try an sit them both down. I tried to explain to them before but they just didn't want to hear it :(  me and her have talked about just hanging out but her mom might get suspicious because we usually only have sleepovers. but thank you again <3
    --- Double Post Merged, Jan 14, 2021 ---
    Thank you for your feedback! I do get why they might be skeptical about us having a sleepover (even tho we had one when we were dating but they didn't know and we never did anything). ill try and update on here when I get news on if we could have a day that we can hang out tho :) 
     
    #4 Emma R Vought, Jan 14, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2021
  5. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Well-Known Advisor
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    Yeah=( I really dont think her mom will think anything of it though, if you just hang out. Friends spend time together all the time without sleeping over, its not a weird thing at all. And like I said, some time is better than no time<3
     

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