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I'm unsure whether I'm bi or lesbian. It's confusing, like a difficult physics problem.

Discussion in 'Questioning & General LGBT' started by SylFrat, Jan 12, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. SylFrat
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    SylFrat Just a generic girl
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    At first I thought I was straight, then I started identifying as a bisexual and now I'm very confused.

    I don't want this post to be a giant mess so I'm going to make a list.

    1. When I think about my future and a relationship I imagine being with a girl. It's hard for me to imagine being a lovely couple with a boy. It's been like that for some time.

    2. The last time I... fell in love with a boy was 4-5 years ago (I was 10). Now I've got a crush (a girl) and I feel something different, something I can't describe, something I've never felt before.

    3. Recently, I've experienced a phase in which the only things I watched were love stories. I tried watching a series with a straight couple in it but I didn't really enjoy it. However, when I was watching Citrus or Sakura Trick (both series have lesbian couples within them) I was very engaged in the story and I wanted to see those characters kiss/do romantic things.

    4. When I see a photo of a skimpy-dressed woman, I don't know if it's a good term but I get... kinda turned on.
    When I see a photo like this but with a man in it, I feel something like that but much less intense.

    There's also something that may not be important but I'm going to type it anyway.

    5. When I'm playing a game or watching a show I pay more attention to girls. By that I mean their appearance, story, personality etc. I don't know why it is like that.
    5.5. When I realised you could make a same-sex couple in The Sims I was sooo excited. I've done some maths and about 40% of my families had a gay couple in them (35% had a straight couple and 25% of them had only one person in because I was lazy)
    (Off topic: Am I the only one who wanted to break TS4 by playing with the new gender-related settings and creating unusual families?)

    An update after I've written this: I'm leaning towards the option that I may really be lesbian but at the same time my little brain says that "maybe I'm wrong..." and I want to bang my head against the wall. ¯\_( •︵•)_/¯
    [​IMG]

    I'm planning to meet my friends and discuss our problems with each other, maybe this will help, somehow...
     
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  2. Aussie bi guy
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    Aussie bi guy Great Learner
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    I'd say that you are probably bi but with lesbian leanings. As I've learned over the past few weeks that being bi doesn't mean that you like women and men 50/50%. Often a person will have a stronger preference for one over another.
     
  3. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    Hello again Sylwia. :) 

    I thought we'd kinda covered this territory in your "Hello, everyone!" thread, but now you've provided a lot more detail, I agree with Aussie: IMHO you are most likely bisexual with a strong bias toward the gals. That's just my opinion, though: when it comes to your own sexuality, the only opinion that matters is YOURS.

    I've only been a member of this forum since early December, but something I've really noticed is the sheer number of people in your age group who are TERRIBLY STRESSED OUT about exactly where their sexuality lies... what "gang" they should be joining... how they should label themselves... what pigeonhole they fit into... and I spend a lot of my time on here trying to press home the message that sexuality isn't like that. It's not a test with right and wrong outcomes; it's not like choosing which subject you're going to major in at college - "Oh nooo! Which one do I go for? What happens if I end up doing the wrong subject?"; it's a journey of self-discovery, and it takes time ...and the most brilliant thing of all about it is that whatever conclusion you eventually come to - whatever works for you - is FINE! There are no wrong answers. So you've been identifying as bisexual up to now? Fine! So you're feeling that maybe that label might not be totally accurate, but you're not sure? Fine! In your life, you will be attracted to whoever you are attracted to at any given time, and you will love whoever you are going to love. It's all good. (y) 

    Most importantly, Sylwia, you are YOU and that is all you ever need to be. Only apply a "label" to yourself if doing so actually makes you feel more comfortable with yourself. If you're not sure, it's fine to be not sure. As Jo A said in reply to your other thread, it took them 62 years to discover the geography of their sexuality and gender identity. Relax and enjoy the trip! :) 
     
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  4. SylFrat
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    SylFrat Just a generic girl
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    Thank you for your replies! \(^▽^)/

    I feel so much better because I finally shared my thoughts with someone. I realised that applying a label won't really change me and who I am. No matter what my sexuality is, my friends will be there for me and so will I.

    Now that it doesn't bother me anymore, I'm going to focus on chemistry – I want to "acquire the sacred knowledge".
    \( >‿•)/
     
  5. Thespis
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    Thespis Blithe Spirit
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    That's more like it. :) 
     
  6. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Dedicative Advisor
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    I agree with earlier statements that you are likely bi, but with strong lesbian leanings. This is where I am at. Keep in mind, over time (especially when one is younger) you can go through a variety of changes. Straight to bi, bi to lesbian, back to bi, etc. This is pretty much how I was, but have effectively felt myself settle most comfortably as a lesbian leaning bisexual. :)  Feel free to message me whenever you'd like.
     

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