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i'm too depressed to even get help.

Discussion in 'Health - Physical/Mental' started by ruby may, Nov 3, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    so in short, the past few months of my life have been the hardest. i use the term 'depressed' loosely because i haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i've found it's the easiest way to articulate how i'm feeling. basically i've been feeling so hopeless. i have an amazing support system, great friends, granted my family could be better but they're trying their best. but it still doesn't change the fact that i feel so horrible every single day. when it started i went to my local gp, and got some supplements (iron, b-12 etc) and got a referral to go and see a new therapist (i'd been to a few in the past). i saw this therapist for a few months, but i didn't feel any different. i'm still seeing her, but less frequently because i feel like i can't get out of bed most days. i missed almost a whole term of school because of this. i've just been feeling so empty and frustrated. it didn't help that the last two weeks were exams. i managed to complete 4 of the 7 exams but i still have to resit the 3 that i missed. the worst part for me is that every single day i feel like it's getting worse. i'm living with my dad currently because my mum is struggling to cope with my mental health issues at the moment but it's making it worse. i just want to be at my mum's house, i'm usually there almost all the time so it's definitely more of a home than dad's. every day i feel worse and it's really scaring me. i tried going to the gp today but i couldn't even bring myself to do that and now my dad's mad because he has to pay a cancellation fee. i'm not suicidal, i never have been and i know for a fact that i never want to end my own life, because i know i have so much to live for. however the scary part is that sometimes thoughts come into my brain about that kind of things that i don't want to happen. i'm really just scared, and i want help desperately but i feel like i'm barely even capable to get it.

    i'm sorry if this is just me rambling, i'm really just looking for anyone who has been in my position so that i can have some hope that i'll be okay again. because at the beginning of these few months i believed i'd be fine, but every day that seems further and further from the truth and it's terrifying.

    thank you for reading.
     
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  2. Corvus
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    Corvus Agender chatterbox
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    I know that sometimes life is just too much to handle and the best family, friends and cheerleading squad can't make it better. It feels like every day you hit a new rock bottom and you see no way your life is going to improve.
    The good news is, it will improve eventually; bad news is, it might not be as quick as you'd hope. I can't really tell you how to change your situation other than to search for something (even if it's small) that you feel you need and build from there.

    About half a year ago I was deeply depressed, suicidal and even getting out of bed was a task I didn't succeed at every day. We desperately needed money so I just stayed in bed trying to think about where my perfect job would be. That inspired me enough to write an application letter and send it to the place. "It's going straight to the trash but whatever...I sent it". I actually felt proud of myself for it and I really enjoyed that feeling. Two days later I got a call for an interview and it really revitalised me. Later that day I was lucky enough to be called into my first appointment with the psychiatrist I had been waiting 8 months for and he helped me getting ready for the interview. I got the job.

    So in 3 days I went from broke and suicidal to having my dream job and getting this huge urge to get better. Of course these were perfect circumstances but my point is that sometimes you grab a pebble and it starts a landslide. You just have to start somewhere.
     
  3. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    thanks for your response, it means a lot. i'm really happy to hear that you got better, and congratulations on getting the job. school is starting again soon (my school has a program where you start the next year before the christmas holidays) so i'll be starting my new classes in a week, and i'm looking forward to the fresh start. i hope that some good will come out of that.
     
  4. Corvus
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    Best of luck! You got this and we're here to support you.
     
  5. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    thanks Corvus i really appreciate it :) 
     
  6. Alex_2019
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    Alex_2019 Curious Explorer
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    @ruby may
    I have a friend that's been going through the same kind of thing for the last few years, heavy depression, anxiety, panic attacks, every day is really hard for him.

    I'm going to share with you, what I found for him,

    Basically we where saying that when someone goes to the doctor, for something like depression, what they will mostly do is give you Antidepressants, the problem with that is it don't work for everyone and can even make things worse,

    Also they are not desgined to cure people they are just a temporary fix, my friend agreed with this, after a while I came across this alternative medicine, a Herb called Ashwagandha root, I told my friend about it and after looking into it, he decided to get some to try, it helped him a lot he was more talkative and happy, I noticed the change in him right away, so it worked for him.

    He would still have bad days, though he didn't stop taking the Antidepressants, even though he was improving a lot, I think he was at a point where he was too dependent on them.

    What i'll do is leave some links so you can read about it and talk to your family about it, see what they think.
    You can get it on places like Amazon, has a lot of positive reviews, just make sure you are buying the genuine product.

    naturalnews.com/2019-08-04-ashwagandha-root-is-a-natural-anti-anxiety-therapy.html

    webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-953/ashwagandha

    I need to say i'm Not a medical professional and have never used ashwagandha myself, but if you do decide to give it go, please let us know on here if it helped with your depression or not.

    Hope this helps :) 
     
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    #6 Alex_2019, Nov 8, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019
  7. AudryLeigh
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    Hi Ruby May,

    I've been through a pretty similar period in my life, and I'm just now beginning to pull out of it. I've been fighting this for 50 years now -- since before they even knew what depression was. I have taken almost every antidepressant in the book and, as was mentioned above, they don't really work (at all, except maybe for the first month or so). I'd never heard of ashwagandha, so haven't tried it, but I did a lot of homeopathic and herbal things that were supposed to help -- some did, a little bit. What literally saved my life though is this little device made by Fisher Wallace. It is the ONLY thing I have ever seen that actually says it's effective against "treatment resistant depression." It was kinda spendy (a few hundred bucks), but I was very suicidal and so saw it as a life or death, last option. I got the device in the mail (it's a little pocket sized device with two electrodes that stimulate your brain and (apparently) help reprogram your brain to its natural state, rather than the chaotic state that years of stress and anxiety produce. 50 years I'd been fighting this ever present depression, but 48 hours after starting to use this device I woke up and it was like, "What the *^&% is this? I'm wide awake, full of energy, and I want to DO THINGS today!" I don't think it works that fast for everyone, but their website is full of testimonials, many (most?) of which start out with, "This device saved my life." It most certainly saved mine. Somewhere in their literature it says that does the same thing as ECT (electro convulsive therapy, or "Shock" therapy, which is the AMA's last ditch effort), but in little pieces instead of one big whammy (which can cause memory loss). Anyway, I cannot say enough good about this little device, or the good it has done me. You can read all about it at: https://www.fisherwallace.com/ . The device has been approved by the FDA for 20 years nso it's NOT a scam.

    Hugs,
    Audry Leigh
     
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  8. Ashley22

    Ashley22 Addictive Contributor
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    Wow, very interesting. While I haven't been anywhere near suicidal lately....(just for background, I was bullied 4th-8th grade VERY severely, but not because of how I identified, just the way I acted, I'm a very sensitive person emotionally and physically. It took it's toll but here I am today) ....and I lost my train of thought from that.

    I do get you saying you feel AWAKE. I had the same feeling when I came to terms with my identity. I WANTED to get back into my hobbies and I am able to provide all the love my family needs.

    I can't begin to understand what crippling sensation it is to be constantly depressed but I'm so glad you pulled through to provide your love to all those who need it!


    Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk
     
    #8 Ashley22, Nov 8, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019
  9. Duckboots
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    It sucks that the best advice I could give is just hang in there. Keep going and things will improve eventually, with effort and time. The first thing you try might not work, the next might not either. You might have to try lots of things but you'll get to a better place sometime. It might not be ideal but nothing happens overnight so just hang in there and try your best to claw your way out of that pit of depression.
     
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  10. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    hi alex, thanks so much for your reply, it means a lot.

    i’m sorry to hear about your friend, i hope he is doing better.

    i will definitely take your advice, i have a similar view on antidepressants, i haven’t tried them myself but i’ve been on anxiety medication in the past and it’s good temporarily but definitely not in the long run. i’ll bring it up with my doctor and look into it, thanks again
     
  11. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    thanks so much for the reply, audry leigh

    i’m really sorry to hear you’ve been through all of that, i’m glad you found something that worked for you

    i’ve never heard of it before, so i’ll definitely look into it. more than anything i’m just looking for the motivation to come back and to stop being exhausted every day so that really does sound great, thanks again :) 
    --- Double Post Merged, Nov 9, 2019 ---
    thanks a lot for your reply, it means a bunch :) 

    i’m trying my best to hang in there, and hope is the main thing keeping me going. i’m trying my best until i find something to help me out.

    thanks for the advice
     
    #11 ruby may, Nov 9, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019
  12. Ellie9682

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    I understand, and I hope u can find someone to talk to. I also have depression and am seeing a therapist. Maybe ask to take some stinger medication that was the only thing that helped me. If u ever need anyone to talk to I’m always here


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  13. ruby may
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    ruby may procrastination extraordinaire
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    thanks for the advice, i'm sorry to hear that you're also dealing with depression, it's good that you found something that helped :) 
     
  14. zen

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    Hi, how are you feeling today? Hope it's even a bit better.

    For what condition your doctor prescribed iron and B12 if you don't mind me asking?

    If you have gene variations or a type of antibody that reduce the ability to absorb folate and B12, regular synthetic supplement tablet form of folate and B12 might harm you. There are methylated form of folate and B12 called methylfolate and methylcobalamin, respectively, that don't get interfered by your gene variations or antibody, and might give you enough energy. You can look this up and see if you want to try it. I hope this will help you.
     
  15. Ashley22

    Ashley22 Addictive Contributor
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    Iron and B12 is likely for a lack of red blood cells.
    Probably from not wanting to eat from sheer depression.


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    #15 Ashley22, Nov 10, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  16. zen

    zen Curator, Royal Academy of Inappropriate Handshake
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    I thought so. Most of people I've met who had anemic tendency had mental instability. "Used to" you mean you are not anemic now through blood test? I hope you wouldn't take this lightly if you have not regained enough ferritin and B12, cuz anyone who don't have enough RBC can develop depression.
     
  17. Ashley22

    Ashley22 Addictive Contributor
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    This was more than a decade ago. All good here :) 

    Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk
     

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