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I'm in love with her

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Pinktruck, May 19, 2017.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Pinktruck

    Pinktruck Greenhorn
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    Go back to the summer of 2015.im in a relationship with a man. We're not married but I consider him my husband) We've been together for 15 years and have an 11 year old son. Never had I ever been in any type of relationship with a woman. Never considered it, it was something that I just couldn't see myself doing. (I have two sisters who are both gay, so I was always around it and I'd find myself thinking... how can they do it? I could never!" Anyway a female coworker changed that! She's a lot older than me, she was 57 at the time, I was 34. We'd been working in the same department for a few years but not closely. Then our schedules got changed and we were working along side each other 2 out of 5 days a week. One day I was watching her walk down the hall ahead of me and saw her in a complete different light. I wanted this woman!! Bad!! But didn't know how to tell her. A few weeks later I left a note on her car, thinking she'd know it was from me.... but she didn't. Couple days later I text her & told her it was me. She was shocked!!! We started a relationship which lasted a year & a half. I ended up leaving my husband for her, we got an apartment together and I fixed up a room for my son thinking he'd be with me most of the time. I couldn't have been more wrong, he was angry, he hated me. Would hardly even come stay for a few hours. It was terrible. I thought after some time he would accept it and be ok, but it only got worse. (I'm leaving out a lot of details here) but I ended up leaving her and going back home for my son. I love my husband and care deeply for him but I'm not "in love" with him. I hadn't been for a long time. I'm in love with HER. But I had to do it for our son. So what do I do now? Live the rest of my life wanting to be with her? Missing her...needing her?? I need your help
     
  2. CoffeeUnicorn34
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    CoffeeUnicorn34 ◆Bakura★Non✥Binary◆Badass★
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    First off, let me just be up front and honest that I am not the most experienced when it comes to relationship advice but I will see if I can try to offer some kind words for you at the very least.

    Honey, your feelings are valid. I am very sorry for you having to go through that whole situation of leaving your husband for a woman you loved. This type of thing happens more than you think. A woman comes into herself as a late bloomer. This is kind of what happened to me except I have never been married but the last guy I was with was an a-hole that raped me but that is neither here nor there.

    Anyway regarding your particular situation, this is tricky given there are children involved. First you really have to think, "did this woman really ever love me?" "Could we repair our relationship?" Again this is a delicate matter as it involves a child. I'm deeply sorry your son was angry at you. That is very unfortunate. If it were me, I'd want my mother to be happy with life. But everypony reacts to things different but maybe eventually he will come round and realize this.

    I can tell you love your son. That feeling came across very clear in your post. If you don't mind my ask, how has your husband accepted you? Hopefully he was at least a little understanding. I could understand him maybe being hurt but I think he'd want you to be happy. Correct me if I'm wrong but this is the vibe Im picking up.

    I can tell you're a lovely mother that cares about your son's well being. That's very good that you're considering his feelings in all this, even though your heart is in turmoil.

    Regarding the woman in question, honestly I think you're better off without her. However if you really feel you could make things work with her and patch up whatever went wrong then by all means pursue her! Don't let a good one get away if she is indeed the one you want in your life.

    I would recommend also taking your own self into account before making any rash decisions. Are you really ready to attempt another relationship with this lady? Or maybe you should take your time, take a step back and reevaluate your situation.

    You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a son that is happy as well. Just take your time and take it slow. I know that alot of this is easier said than done at the end of the day. And it is ultimately up to you what you choose to do.
     
  3. Pinktruck

    Pinktruck Greenhorn
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    Thank you for commenting. At first my husband was extremely angry that I left, of course. But that passed as time went on. After about a year he had given up on ever getting me back but still hadn't moved on to anyone else. Things we're ok between him & I during most of this whole thing. Ok so when it comes to my woman, yes, I'm certain that she really loved me and still does. She texts me everyday, begging me to come back, telling me how much she loves me. Since we've broken up I've talked to her in person several times, and every time she cries & cries, it's heartbreaking to say the least. When her and I were together we had a good relationship, really no major issues between us. The ONLY reason I left was for my sons well being. Thank you again for the comment, I really appreciate it.
     
  4. CoffeeUnicorn34
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    CoffeeUnicorn34 ◆Bakura★Non✥Binary◆Badass★
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    Aww I'm really sorry to hear that. That happens way too much. Honey, I understand you care deeply your son and want to take his feelings into account. That is completely understandable.

    However if you really love this woman and it sounds like she loves you too. My point is you honestly deserve to be happy. Pursue this woman, rekindle the love you had, and everything will fall into place.

    Hope this helps somewhat. Wish you the best of luck in however you choose to pursue this. Offering safe hugs. :) 
    I love stories like yours that have true love involved. I hope everything works out for you, your lady, and your son.

    Here have a cute puppy hug GIF...
    [​IMG]
     
    #4 CoffeeUnicorn34, May 20, 2017
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  5. PeachyMe

    PeachyMe Greenhorn

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    For starters I want to say I'm so happy for you but I'm also really sorry for what happened. I don't believe my advice will help 100% but I want to try to help...
    So let's talk about your son. How old is he? Because depending on how old he is will determine how understanding he will be.
    I see you really love this woman and you really want to stat with her so I say don't let her go because you are letting ho of something rare in the world, true love.
    I don't believe you have gotten back with your husband yet so I assume you are living apart right? If I'm wrong let me know sorry haha.
    To connect everything I have said.... First off, like everyone said, consider your feelings too, you don't have to be with your husband to make your child happy. Depending on how old he is you can sit him down somewhere where you guys can be alone and tell him how you feel about this woman and how you used to love his father but something changed that can't be replaced. I can't say that conversation will be easy but it will release the things you have been holding back from saying to him and if he doesn't want to see you after you have told him the things you are feeling... let him go to give him more time... it wont be easy on you but reconnect with your partner and she will be by your side through the whole thing to let you know it will all be okay and just know your son will come around even if it's 10 years from now he will come around :) 
    I hope most of this helped but if not sorry I tried :)  I send you lots of love and hope!
     

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