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I'm in a difficult place.

Discussion in 'Transgender' started by Alexander Vanburen, Jan 12, 2018.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Alexander Vanburen
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    Alexander Vanburen Great Learner
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    So I am a transexual male. Though my parents are hard core Christians who loathes the LGBT community. If I come out to my family they would kick me out on the streets. I hate the way I look right now. I look completely female and I hate the name I have to use.
     
  2. Ninjastar

    Ninjastar Great Learner
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    I’m sorry. It’s hard when you have to hide who you are. How old are you? Sometimes, it is safer to stay in the closet until you can move out on your own.
     
  3. Alexander Vanburen
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    Alexander Vanburen Great Learner
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    I just turned 17
     
  4. ShauntSerelu
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    ShauntSerelu Juliette, trans girl, sapiosexual, bi.
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    Yeah. I'd recommend becoming financially independent before trying to become yourself. I'm sorry, I know it can be hard
     
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  5. Alexander Vanburen
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    Alexander Vanburen Great Learner
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    thank you for the support
     
  6. Ninjastar

    Ninjastar Great Learner
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    You have our support here while you have to wait. I’m sorry you can’t be in a more supportive environment.
     
  7. Alexander Vanburen
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    Alexander Vanburen Great Learner
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    Well it's a guarded Christian community that hates us. Theres not much I can do
     
  8. Missmissy griffin
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    Missmissy griffin Great Learner
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    Yes the safest thing to do is to get self supporting/ emancipated. Ideally in a LGBT friendly city or state. Tricky and yes more then a bit scary. Of course you could do what I did and that is wait for the parents to pass on. Really I don't recommend that. It was darn silly of me and today I wish I had come out far earily, but my dad wound never have understand it. He was not at all LGBT friendly.
     
  9. Sir A.G
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    Sir A.G Trans & Pan
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    Sometimes coming out and being rejected and kicked out by your family can make your mental health even worse than if you were to keep it in until being able to live on your own. It's a tough one but you're definitely lucky you're close to adult age and will be able to live on your own soon.
     
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  10. Thief King Bakura
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    Thief King Bakura ☆ Start.the.GaMe.of.DaRkNess ✩
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    *major hugs* I know what it is like to live with an unaccepting family. I came out to my mom and Dad ( at different times) and they didn't accept me as transgender. It hurts, it really does, especially when these people are supposed to be your family. They say they will love you no layuuer what, and when you tell them something like "By the way Im transgender. I haven't felt like *insert gender assigned at birth* for along time._" which I did and my dad still didn't quite get it. He still doesn't and misgenders ,e (another reason I am looking forward to moving out which is hopefully soon.)

    Point is, the ones that are supposed to love and nurture us sometimes don't accept us for who we truly are. This is a heartbreaking thing. But I want to tell you something, it's not you, it's them. It isn't YOUR fault, it's theirs. You're an amazing boy. It's a shame they don't see that. I wish there was more I could do. Best I can say is come out ONLY when it is safe, when YOU FEEL safe. You might be surprised, you never know.


    I am a man and I don't give a damn what my family thinks. I, Bakura am a man, not my fault my mom and dad can't see me as their son.
     
  11. Emmett13

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    Just stay brave :) 
    You have to trust that you have an LGBT+ family who will accept you!
    You just have to love yourself and your own identity. If they don't accept it then you have to view that as their problem not yours.
    If you get really down, you should use trans helplines or LGBT+ safe spaces. It is important to talk about your feelings about your identity and realise that you are not alone :) 
    <3
     
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  12. •Outcast•Wondering•

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    Hey Alexander,
    I know this must be a really tough time for You, being uncomfortable in your own skin is horrible but the advice everyone has given you is most likely the best thing for you. We're all here with you though, and will continue to be if you need someone to talk to or provide some support and strength- as they say, there's better strength in numbers.

    I know it may be risky but do you know if there is any LGBT+ support formats where you are? often meeting new people in similar situations can help but of course you need to feel comfortable and safe in your decisions.

    I'm sorry for the situation you're in but one day you'll receive the support you need to be happy.

    All the best for You
    - Logan
     
  13. Alexander Vanburen
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    I am not sure if there is something like that here, but I couldn't go anyway. My parents have a tight lock on where I am. What I do. Etc. And thank you everyone for all the support.
     

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