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I'm confused with my sexuality

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by ImNotRevealimgMyName, May 15, 2019.  |  Print Topic

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  1. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    Hey everyone. I just joined this because over the past few weeks I have notice that I have felt attracted to girls and its freaking me out. My nan is lesbian and my auntie is bisexual but I still don't know how to tell anyone. I'm only 13 so I'm not certain i'm actually a lesbian but just looking for some help. The thing that is really freaking me out is that I'm in love with my friend who is also a girl, but they are openly lesbian so I'm not using my real name here because she might be on here. If somebody could give me some advice that would be great!
     
  2. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    Hey, I know it's difficult, and you are young and many changes yet to come, so I'd encourage you not to fret over it too much. Maybe you are lesbian, maybe bi, maybe straight but just going through some things, sorting out your feelings, so hard to say. I went from straight, to bi by 14, then lesbian (at least I thought) at 17, then back to bi by 18 (though I lean more towards girls). It's not necessarily something that will be all neat and tidy. Just ride it out, experiment where appropriate, and see where life takes you. :) 
     
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  3. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    Hey sorry I never replied to you before but thank you for the advice. Its not been very long but I've changed my mind a lot over the past month. I'm certain (for now) that I'm gay and I've had a really big crush on Brie Larson for a while now. I've come out to a few of my friends as well and so far they've all been fine with it. I was really suprised because the person I was really scared to tell is bi! I'm not that confused anymore and I feel a lot better now
     
  4. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    You are so very welcome and that is lovely! So is this bi friend the one you hoped to be with? If so, is she reciprocating your interest?
     
  5. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    No, its a different friend to the one I hoped to be with because the one I hoped to be with was openly gay, but I only just found out this friend is bi.
     
  6. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    Would you consider being with this other friend instead?
     
  7. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    Possibly because this friend is my best friend and we a very close
     
  8. Dale McGaffey

    Dale McGaffey Lurker

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    What do you think of you when get hot?
     
  9. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    Lovely. It may really be worth pursuing. :) 
     
  10. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    hello, just an update of what's going on and I don't think I want to be with my best friend anymore because I moved school and I don't really see her anymore and anyways there is someone at my new school that I really like, and I mean I REALLY REALLY like her. I'm definitely feeling a lot more strongly about her than I ever have before. It's gotten to the point where I'm actually considering asking her out next week, but she could be straight. It's worth a shot though! It has helped that I told someone who is friends with both of us that I'm gay and I have a crush on someone, then she guessed who it was on the first try! Today we came into school and my crush was in front of me and our friend was in the corner and we kept making these stupid faces at each other but nobody else knew what was happening, it was hilarious. I've just got my fingers crossed she'll say yes
     
  11. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    I so hope it works out for you! :) 
     
  12. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    Hi, It's been forever since I last said anything on here and damn have things got crazy. Remember that girl I was talking about before? Yeah, she's straight... and I still love her. I've had 4 girlfriends since in attempt to get over her but I had to break up with all of them because of her. It's also resulted in me sinking into a deep depression, followed by drinking drugs and several suicide attempts. After I told her about my feelings she literally didn't speak to me in person for 4 months which absolutely tore me to pieces and turns out, it was only because she didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. We're still friends but I'm absolutely losing my mind; I've hated the past 8 months. She still kinda seems like she might not be straight, not only to me but to some of my friends too, so she's confusing the crap out of me. She tries to touch my hands whenever she can without people noticing, she blushes around me sometimes, I nearly made her cry when I was talking about trying to kill myself and I've constantly caught her staring at me in class and at lunch break. I have no idea what to do with myself at the minute, I think I'm going insane.
     
  13. Kahlan

    Kahlan Well-Known Advisor
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    I'm so very sorry to hear that you are going through sooo much right now. :-( *huge hugs* There is no simple answer that will fix any of this for you, I wish there was, but life is complicated, and when strong emotions are involved well, it just makes it very hard to cope. I can give you a bit of really obvious advice though. Please don't try to harm yourself again, and please don't go crazy. :)  This time of your life is short, it will pass like a gust if wind, and before you know it, you will be on to bigger and better things, and hopefully, this situation with this girl you are so crazy for, will have resolved itself one way or another.

    I'm afraid that if she has said that she is straight, regardless of what mixed signals she is giving you or others, then you have to just take her word for it, at least for now. What will most likely happen, is some girl will come along and blow your mind. Keeping this other girl close to you may be sabotaging that opportunity though. In a way, she holds your heart hostage, and clearly, that isn't working out very well for you.

    You might want to consider outside help by someone who can teach you ways that you can cope with these strong feelings in a more positive way than what you've done so far. The best thing that can happen to you is for you to live a full and wonderful life, and someone will want to share that life with you. Be level headed, approach every instance with common sense. Train your mind to not accept this fatalistic approach to love and happiness. Allow yourself to dream about other things aside from love and companionship. See singleness as a freedom to be enjoyed, rather than a lonely dark place. Love is a powerful drug, one could even argue that it is a sort of mental illness. I won't quite go that far, but the way it can make us toss common sense out a window, it almost seems like it at times. Hang in there and spend some time finding fulfillment in other things and then, when the time is right, love will often find us when and where we least expect it.
     
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    #13 Kahlan, Feb 8, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2020
  14. Jazzeypoo14
    Adorable

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    i went through the same thing as you did with the second girl your talking about, my name is jazz, and im 15 and a lesbian. my best advice for you is too try to surrond yourself by people who loves you and makes you feel important and maybe get out and do some stuff with some kids around ur age because it'll make u feel better and make u realize u do still have sum to live for. im here if u need me, u can text me anytime
     
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  15. Freaky.Fiona

    Freaky.Fiona Addictive Advisor
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    Just want to affirm all that jazzeypoo14 said! :) 
     
  16. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    thank you so much for the advice, it's just not very easy to get away from her because we go to the same school and see each other every day without choice. Then she also actually cares about me cuz she's my friend and even when i was away from her for awhile it just made it way worse. On Friday she caught me with cocaine at school (she has done before aswell) and she sat me down to talk about it. Of course I just told her everything cuz I'll take any excuse to talk to her and she told one of our teachers. I had to just lie about it and say it wasn't true cuz i don't wanna get expelled. I'm gonna have to talk to her about this tomorrow man. Anyway enough of my rambling, I'm trying to get help but i hope this ends soon it's been 7 months :-(
    --- Double Post Merged, Feb 9, 2020 ---
    okay thank you, i do try to do that i just isolate myself most of the time, sometimes i don't even realize it. Hopefully it'll all be okay one day :) 
     
    #16 ImNotRevealimgMyName, Feb 9, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2020
  17. bi-fi signal
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    bi-fi signal *bi intensifies*
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    hey, i'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. it hurts when you're pining after someone you can't have. i agree with everyone's advice, and im sorry that i can't really give much advice, but i would like to add on to others' comments.

    most likely i'd say she is straight, but ofc there is a slight possibility that she isn't straight and is just uncomfortable with coming out. however, regardless of whether she is straight or not, it seems like she is either taking way too long to make a move or she won't make a move at all, so i think its best to move on. in my opinion she's not worth trying to make a move on if that makes sense.

    i agree with kahlan. are you out to your parents? maybe you can talk to them about this or ask them if you can start getting other help.

    please don't do drugs, no matter how you're feeling. find something you like to do that'll distract you, a hobby, a new tv show or book, new musical artists, whatever.

    good luck with all of this, sending a hug :) 
     
  18. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    hi thank you and ye i agree, since when did anybody ever take 7 months to make a move? lmao
    i honestly can't tell if she's actually straight or just scared she's so confusing man, sometimes she'll just randomly look at me as if she's about to cry and won't say why. i wish i could just take her word for it cuz i've liked other straight girls before (none of them as much as her though) and i didn't question their orientation at all but with her, i can't help but wonder. it's also very random how her dad (he's my geography teacher, yeah i know it's insane) doesn't really like any of the other kids at our school but with me he's really kind and gentle... yet she claims he has never known i like her? i don't even know man. i've been listening to wish you were gay by billie eilish on loop constantly lol
     
  19. bi-fi signal
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    bi-fi signal *bi intensifies*
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    maybe you can ask her again abt her orientation? and just be like "hey you can trust me, you can tell me if you're not straight" or smth idk. but don't be like too pushy. maybe im giving bad advice lol

    ME
     
  20. ImNotRevealimgMyName
    Meh

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    i never acc asked her abt her orientation in the first place, i just told her how i felt. also she's never said to me "i'm straight"; when i told her how i felt she just said it's okay and kinda made a bit of a dramatic speech (she thinks she's bad at giving advice but it's the cutest thing ever lmao). i don't wanna ask her tho bc it'll probs end badl, i'll just go w the flow. if she isn't straight then she can tell me when she feels like it :) 
     
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