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If your birth family is toxic and manipulative. Is it possible to have your own happy family one day

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by Whynot, Jul 27, 2020.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Whynot
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    Whynot Addictive Advisor
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    Is it possible or are you stuck in a pattern? Or worse will you even be unable to get a real connection?
     
  2. Bornunderabadsign
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    Bornunderabadsign Non-binary Natural Disaster
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    I hope so. I wouldn't be happy otherwise.
     
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  3. buzzzer

    buzzzer Great Learner
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    It gets better. Sometimes you have to move towards it. It is very possible.
     
  4. Jo A
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    Jo A ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    I was emancipated at age 16, it was determined I would do a better job of raising myself.

    I have many things to be happy about and look at a lot of blessings.

    So yes I rose above it all.
     
  5. Barefoot
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    Barefoot Casual Observer
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    I was unwanted and barely tolerated (it's still the same though I'm not welcome at all now; my family believes in "bad seed" though I've accomplished more than most of them, and it has nothing to do with being gay) so long before I was a teenager I made my own world. I don't miss anything or anyone. I don't even think about it, other than thinking it's amusing sometimes. I prefer the world I made for myself much more than anything they have, which isn't much.
     
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  6. angel70
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    angel70 The Old Guy
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    Toxic families make it very difficult for children to learn to trust, and that makes successful relationships a real struggle. With the right partner, though, I think it still can be possible.
     
  7. john1010101
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    On the other hand there is such a thing as toxic children. In know parents of five children, three of whom are fully developed and sane, the other two are a disaster. The were all raised the same way, all loved and protected . Maybe though the parents shouldn’t have named the toxic pair ‘Chaos’ and ‘Zero’ ?
     
  8. Whynot
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    Whynot Addictive Advisor
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    I guess its kinda impossible. I was thinking about my siblings. They are in abusive marriages, lies, cheating, possessiveness, divorce. All of them their partners walked all over them.
    For two years now I feel like I do want to get married and have my own family. Now I started to limit toxic connections in my life and I feel ready to meet a woman. I have a space and time for tbat. However, Looking at my siblings history though I am not optimistic. But me and them are completely different people thats why I couldn't get along with them. My parents are the biggest failure too. Separation, divorce, cheating
    Like not even a single successful And healthy relationship in the family, hell even themselves they can't have a healthy connection together. Why we cannot choose our families?
     
  9. KananRose
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    KananRose Always living my best life

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    A toxic family is never good for you to be a part of, but you can always choose your own family, it doesn't have to be a connection through blood. "Blood of the covenant is thicker then the water of the womb"
    Even so, I believe that when you have your own marriage, you strive to be better then your parents, especially when they are less then desireable. All that is needed is some self-confidence (hard to have in that situation) and knowing where they went wrong with their relationship

    Hope this is somewhat helpful,
    Kanan
     

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